Re: Fw: Funny....must read.....

[Guest guest]

Dear Betty:

Ha Ha Ha. And here I was taking my life in hand when I asked about 'nabs'

and Wally World. I wanted a little guide, but this was more than I asked

for.

Nuff said.

Judith in Seattle

Fw: Funny....must read.....

> For non-southerners when visiting down SOUTH.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >> 1) Don't order steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a

> >> day, so let them cook something they know.

> >>

> >> 2) Don't laugh at southern people's names. (Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray,

> >> Tammy Ann, Darla Beth, Inez, Bubba, Billy Joe Bob, Sissy, etc.) These

> >> people have been known to kick a man's ass for less.

> >>

> >> 3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. This can also lead to

> >> an ass kicking. Down south it's called Coke. It don't make a damn

> >> whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr.Pepper, 7-Up or whatever else, it's a Coke.

> >>

> >> 4) Don't show allegiance to any college football team that isn't in the

> >> Big 12, SEC or ACC or we'll kick your ass (Texas, Oklahoma, Carolina,

> >> Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, etc.). All the others are

> >> just a bunch of pansies that play teams like Wyoming. We'll kick their

> >> ass, too.

> >>

> >> 5) Don't refer to Southerners as a bunch of hillbillies. We know our

> >> heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty,

> >> , Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally lots

> >> nicer. We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred of Fed Ex,

> >> Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do

> >> sometimes have a small lapse in judgment (e.g., Helms). We don't care

> >> if you think we are all dumb because we will kick your ass.

> >>

> >> 6) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up,

> >> spend your money, and get the hell out of here or we'll kick your ass.

> >>

> >> 7) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly

> >> know that you're from Ohio. Eat your biscuits like God intended, and

> >> don't put sugar on your grits or we'll kick your ass.

> >>

> >> 8) Don't fake a southern accent. This will incite a riot and you will

> >> get your ass kicked.

> >>

> >> 9) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we don't

> >> give a damn. If you don't like it here, take your ass home before we

> >> kick it.

> >>

> >> 10) We don't play lacrosse, hockey, or any of those other sissy

> >> northern games, so don't come down here asking the score because we

> >> don't give a damn and we'll kick your ass.

> >>

> >> 11) We know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we

> >> want to and because we can. We don't care if you don't understand what

> >> we are saying. All other southerners understand what we are saying, and

> >> that's all that matters. Now, go home or we'll kick your ass.

> >>

> >> 12) Last, but not least, DO NOT come down here trying to tell us how to

> >> BBQ. This will get your ass shot off (after it is kicked). You're

> >> lucky we let you come down here at all. Question our BBQ, and go home

> >> in a pine box minus your ass. 'Nuff said.

> >>

> >

>

>

> This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com

> Please visit our web site at http://clos.net

> Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm

>

> and for more on the MGB,Don't miss :

> http://www.fourlane.com/mgb

>

> To Unsubscribe Send and Email to:

MiniGastricBypass-unsubscribe (AT) egroups (DOT) com

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Betty, This is too funny...and true. I was born and raised in Alabama

and you just described all my friends! lol I just e-mailed it to all

my " redneck " friends! Thanks,

Dinah in AL

> Dear Betty:

> Ha Ha Ha. And here I was taking my life in hand when I asked

about 'nabs'

> and Wally World. I wanted a little guide, but this was more than I

asked

> for.

>

> Nuff said.

>

> Judith in Seattle

> Fw: Funny....must read.....

>

>

> > For non-southerners when visiting down SOUTH.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >> 1) Don't order steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast

24 hours a

> > >> day, so let them cook something they know.

> > >>

> > >> 2) Don't laugh at southern people's names. (Merleen, Bodie,

Luther Ray,

> > >> Tammy Ann, Darla Beth, Inez, Bubba, Billy Joe Bob, Sissy,

etc.) These

> > >> people have been known to kick a man's ass for less.

> > >>

> > >> 3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. This can

also lead to

> > >> an ass kicking. Down south it's called Coke. It don't make a

damn

> > >> whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr.Pepper, 7-Up or whatever else, it's

a Coke.

> > >>

> > >> 4) Don't show allegiance to any college football team that

isn't in the

> > >> Big 12, SEC or ACC or we'll kick your ass (Texas, Oklahoma,

Carolina,

> > >> Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, etc.). All the

others are

> > >> just a bunch of pansies that play teams like Wyoming. We'll

kick their

> > >> ass, too.

> > >>

> > >> 5) Don't refer to Southerners as a bunch of hillbillies. We

know our

> > >> heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty,

> > >> , Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally

lots

> > >> nicer. We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred of

Fed Ex,

> > >> Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally,

we do

> > >> sometimes have a small lapse in judgment (e.g., Helms). We

don't care

> > >> if you think we are all dumb because we will kick your ass.

> > >>

> > >> 6) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the

hell up,

> > >> spend your money, and get the hell out of here or we'll kick

your ass.

> > >>

> > >> 7) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will

instantly

> > >> know that you're from Ohio. Eat your biscuits like God

intended, and

> > >> don't put sugar on your grits or we'll kick your ass.

> > >>

> > >> 8) Don't fake a southern accent. This will incite a riot and

you will

> > >> get your ass kicked.

> > >>

> > >> 9) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because

we don't

> > >> give a damn. If you don't like it here, take your ass home

before we

> > >> kick it.

> > >>

> > >> 10) We don't play lacrosse, hockey, or any of those other sissy

> > >> northern games, so don't come down here asking the score

because we

> > >> don't give a damn and we'll kick your ass.

> > >>

> > >> 11) We know how to speak proper English. We talk this way

because we

> > >> want to and because we can. We don't care if you don't

understand what

> > >> we are saying. All other southerners understand what we are

saying, and

> > >> that's all that matters. Now, go home or we'll kick your ass.

> > >>

> > >> 12) Last, but not least, DO NOT come down here trying to tell

us how to

> > >> BBQ. This will get your ass shot off (after it is kicked).

You're

> > >> lucky we let you come down here at all. Question our BBQ, and

go home

> > >> in a pine box minus your ass. 'Nuff said.

> > >>

> > >

> >

> >

> > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at

Onelist.com

> > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net

> > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm

> >

> > and for more on the MGB,Don't miss :

> > http://www.fourlane.com/mgb

> >

> > To Unsubscribe Send and Email to:

> MiniGastricBypass-unsubscribe (AT) egroups (DOT) com

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

<< 3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. This can also lead to

>> an ass kicking. Down south it's called Coke. It don't make a damn

>> whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr.Pepper, 7-Up or whatever else, it's a Coke.

>> >>

LOL That is SOOOO true!!!

I am a southern bell thru and thru and when I first met my dh ( from NY) he

asked if I wanted a pop... well being in an abussive marriage earlier I told

him.. " Hell NO you POP me and I'll beat the hell out of you!! " LOL

It was then that I learned what he meant.. and I kindly told him to Never ask

for POP in NC again!! You ask for COKE! ( yes, even if it's Pepsi!!)

Cindy H

BMI 40

NC native!!