Struggling

[Guest guest]

Hey, folks. I'm really struggling with all of this. The adult in me REALLY

wants this surgery and knows that it is the best thing to do. The kid is afraid

of being skinny. Wanton woman and all that mess -- I was sexually abused as an

adolescent. Been in therapy for 7 years, so the adult (and my therapist) know

that I can handle issues as they come up, but the kid is SCARED.

I also keep vacilating about a date for the clinic and for the surgery. At

first I was going to go to a clinic and then go home and think about it for

awhile and have the surgery later. I think I still will do that. At first I

was going to have the surgery around Thanksgiving. Then I decided that I would

watch my new MGB friends, and , and have the surgery in January

(also have a lot going on at work). Now I'm gettin' jealous cause they are

having the surgery now and I don't want to be left behind. So, I've decided to

schedule an October 24 clinic, and then play it by ear from there.

Plus, I just realized that I don't want to go to the clinic by myself. Carol

(from Columbus), if you want to drive to Atlanta for the October 24th clinic,

then we could drive up and go together. I was going to drive up on Monday, go

to clinic on Tuesday morning, and drive home on Tuesday afternoon. Just a

thought.

I HATE MAKING DECISIONS LIKE THIS. I JUST WANT IT TO BE OVER.

Anxiously awaiting your thoughts,

Maggi