Jokes

[Guest guest]

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a

priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red

lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat

pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the

priest and asked, " Say, Father, what causes arthritis? "

" Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap,

wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for

your fellow man. "

" Wow, " the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the

man and apologized. " I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to

come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis? "

" I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that

the Pope does. "

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From the Sydney Morning Herald Australia comes this story of a central

west couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car break down

in the parking lot.

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping

while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to

see a small group of people near the car. On closer

inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from

under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his

lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly

public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she

dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back

into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the

hood and found herself staring at her husband who was

standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have

three stitches in his head.