RE: anyone adopted a child?

[Guest guest]

,

I am so sorry that they IVF didn't work for you. I was really hoping that it

would.

I don't know what to tell you about adoption. I think that you should let

yourself heal a bit from the IVF letdown before you make any decisions. I

suppose that you have to ask yourself, Is it a pregnancy that you want or is it

a child. your heart will tell you what to do when you are ready to hear it. (I

know it sounds hokey but I believe it is true)

mom of 5 with CF

anyone adopted a child?

Our 2nd round of In Vitro didn't work. For some reason, although I

am normally fertile, the little embryos just didn't want to stick.

We were using IVF using pre implantation genetic diagnosis to avoid

having another child with cf. We spent nearly $30,000 and have

NOTHING to show for it except for a bruised butt from injections.

Anyway, we have 2 choices left to provide a sibling for our 2 and 1/2

yr old son wcf. 1. Get pregnant naturally and do a CVS test. We did

that over the summer and the test results indicated an even more rare

chromosomal problem (1 in 5000) so we chose not to continue with the

pregnancy. I likely would have miscarried anyway. 2. Adopt. I

don't know if I am real excited about adopting. We have been through

so much with our son that I don't think I could love another child as

much. And what birthmother would want to give their child to a

couple who has to spend so much time attending to their biological

child. They would also be frightened of the words " Cystic Fibrosis " .

They'd probably think it was contagious.

So any advice? Anyone have a biological child and then adopted and

infant domestically? We are at a total loss. Very devastated by the

negative pregnancy test results and still desperately want a healthy

child. Why does this all have to be so hard? Damn damn damn CF.

mom to Ashton 2 1/2 wcf

-------------------------------------------

The opinions and information exchanged on this list should IN NO WAY

be construed as medical advice.

PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS.

------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

,

I am sorry that the IVF was not a success. It is such an emotional roller

coaster. I can't tell you about adopting. I can tell you about having a

healthy child and a sick child. My girls are 8 years apart. My oldest

daughter is 26 now and except for her 1st year of life, she has been a very

healthy child. She has had other problems, such as always being chubby and

having a lazy eye. These things by themselves are very traumatic for a

child. Before I got pregnant with Steph, we were at a point where we had to

make a permanent decision about birth control. We kept saying that we could

never have a child as wonderful as our first! We decided to wait a couple

of months to see what would happen. I became pregnant with Steph!!!

What a joy for us. She had health issues almost since day one. She was not

diagnosed with CF until she was 5. Needless to say, that diagnosis was a

godsend for us because we could then treat the disease and we knew what we

were dealing with. She has been a true ray of sunshine. I can't imagine

what our life would be like without her. I believe that things happen for a

reason and it is totally beyond our control. I do know that in my daughters

lifetime, there will be a cure for CF.

It is also very hard for siblings to understand and not feel guilty for

being the sick one OR the healthy one. I think it has totally brought my

girls much closer. Even though, I think my oldest daughter really freaks

out when her sister is having a sick spell.

Good luck to you and I hope your decision will be an easy one. HAPPY

HOLIDAYS AND A MOST WONDERFUL NEW YEAR! FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT CELEBRATE THE

HOLIDAYS, HAPPY TOMORROW.

Tina W., mother of , 26nocf and , 18wcf.

Re: anyone adopted a child?

,

I am so sorry that they IVF didn't work for you. I was really hoping that

it would.

I don't know what to tell you about adoption. I think that you should let

yourself heal a bit from the IVF letdown before you make any decisions. I

suppose that you have to ask yourself, Is it a pregnancy that you want or is

it a child. your heart will tell you what to do when you are ready to hear

it. (I know it sounds hokey but I believe it is true)

mom of 5 with CF

anyone adopted a child?

Our 2nd round of In Vitro didn't work. For some reason, although I

am normally fertile, the little embryos just didn't want to stick.

We were using IVF using pre implantation genetic diagnosis to avoid

having another child with cf. We spent nearly $30,000 and have

NOTHING to show for it except for a bruised butt from injections.

Anyway, we have 2 choices left to provide a sibling for our 2 and 1/2

yr old son wcf. 1. Get pregnant naturally and do a CVS test. We did

that over the summer and the test results indicated an even more rare

chromosomal problem (1 in 5000) so we chose not to continue with the

pregnancy. I likely would have miscarried anyway. 2. Adopt. I

don't know if I am real excited about adopting. We have been through

so much with our son that I don't think I could love another child as

much. And what birthmother would want to give their child to a

couple who has to spend so much time attending to their biological

child. They would also be frightened of the words " Cystic Fibrosis " .

They'd probably think it was contagious.

So any advice? Anyone have a biological child and then adopted and

infant domestically? We are at a total loss. Very devastated by the

negative pregnancy test results and still desperately want a healthy

child. Why does this all have to be so hard? Damn damn damn CF.

mom to Ashton 2 1/2 wcf

-------------------------------------------

The opinions and information exchanged on this list should IN NO WAY

be construed as medical advice.

PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR

TREATMENTS.

------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

--

[Guest guest]

Jenifer, We have 27ywcf, 29ywocf, and we lost an infant to Cf. !0 Years ago we

adopted a medically fragile, drug addicted, FAS baby. The birth parents wanted

us to take their little daughter and she has been the greatest blessing to our

family. Yes she has multiple disabilities including CF variant ( that is what

the doctors call it). But she is wonderful. She is a great playmate with her

nieses (?) who are much younger than her. the constant trips to rehab 3 times a

week and doctors visits and hospitals are worth her joy and happiness she has in

life. Yes it is a very hardship on our family but we would not trade it for

anything. I know that there are parents who are considering putting their child

up for adoption who would prefer a family already experienced with different

special need children. My 27 ywcf is greatly considering adopting a child and

has been approved already. There are rewards and non rewards but it is an

individual decision becaUSE if you do it has to be a total dedication to this

child and the other children you have. Make sure that your decision is not

based on wanting another child for a playmate or companion for your own because

then that would be the wrong reason. Children are a gift from God and can be a

great blessing. Good luck

From: J. To: cfparents@...: Wed,

24 Dec 2003 04:25:13 -0000Subject: anyone adopted a child?Our 2nd

round of In Vitro didn't work. For some reason, although I am normally fertile,

the little embryos just didn't want to stick. We were using IVF using pre

implantation genetic diagnosis to avoid having another child with cf. We spent

nearly $30,000 and have NOTHING to show for it except for a bruised butt from

injections. Anyway, we have 2 choices left to provide a sibling for our 2 and

1/2 yr old son wcf. 1. Get pregnant naturally and do a CVS test. We did that

over the summer and the test results indicated an even more rare chromosomal

problem (1 in 5000) so we chose not to continue with the pregnancy. I likely

would have miscarried anyway. 2. Adopt. I don't know if I am real excited

about adopting. We have been through so much with our son that I don't think I

could love another child as much. And what birthmother would want to give their

child to a couple who has to spend so much time attending to their biological

child. They would also be frightened of the words " Cystic Fibrosis " . They'd

probably think it was contagious. So any advice? Anyone have a biological

child and then adopted and infant domestically? We are at a total loss. Very

devastated by the negative pregnancy test results and still desperately want a

healthy child. Why does this all have to be so hard? Damn damn damn

CF. mom to Ashton 2 1/2

wcf-------------------------------------------The opinions and information

exchanged on this list should IN NO WAY be construed as medical advice. PLEASE

CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR

TREATMENTS.------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

,

I can't tell you anything about adoption but I can say that the whole IVF

process sucks. I know when we went through it I found the whole thing really

hard and that was to have our first baby who we later found out has CF.

Sometimes I just wanted people to say... yeah it's really hard. It's

painful, places huge demands on your life not to mention your poor bottom

and your wallet. And the emotional part really takes it's toll. I was

supposed to go through it again for our second baby which I was absolutely

dreading. It took us 4 1/2 years to have Jack so I didn't think I'd

accidentally fall pregnant. We're expecting the second but I don't know

whether the baby will have CF. IF the baby does I've decided I won't have

anymore - even though I'd love to. Things will sort themselves out for you

but make sure you give yourself enough breaks to overcome what you've been

through.

Good luck to you and your family whatever you choose,

Fiona mo Jack 11mths w/cf and one on the way.

>

>Reply-To: cfparents

>To: cfparents

>Subject: anyone adopted a child?

>Date: Wed, 24 Dec 2003 04:25:13 -0000

>

>Our 2nd round of In Vitro didn't work. For some reason, although I

>am normally fertile, the little embryos just didn't want to stick.

>We were using IVF using pre implantation genetic diagnosis to avoid

>having another child with cf. We spent nearly $30,000 and have

>NOTHING to show for it except for a bruised butt from injections.

>

>Anyway, we have 2 choices left to provide a sibling for our 2 and 1/2

>yr old son wcf. 1. Get pregnant naturally and do a CVS test. We did

>that over the summer and the test results indicated an even more rare

>chromosomal problem (1 in 5000) so we chose not to continue with the

>pregnancy. I likely would have miscarried anyway. 2. Adopt. I

>don't know if I am real excited about adopting. We have been through

>so much with our son that I don't think I could love another child as

>much. And what birthmother would want to give their child to a

>couple who has to spend so much time attending to their biological

>child. They would also be frightened of the words " Cystic Fibrosis " .

>They'd probably think it was contagious.

>

>So any advice? Anyone have a biological child and then adopted and

>infant domestically? We are at a total loss. Very devastated by the

>negative pregnancy test results and still desperately want a healthy

>child. Why does this all have to be so hard? Damn damn damn CF.

>

> mom to Ashton 2 1/2 wcf

>

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

1. Get pregnant naturally and do a CVS test. We did

> >that over the summer and the test results indicated an even more

rare

> >chromosomal problem (1 in 5000) so we chose not to continue with

the

> >pregnancy. I likely would have miscarried anyway. 2. Adopt.

I understand how difficult it is. Devastating I know. Been there

and I don't want to return to the hopelessness. I, too, tried IVF but

not because of CF but because I got married late in life (38). It

didn't work for me and I ended up with ovarian cysts from the meds.

We adopted a domestic newborn. Actually the birthmother called me

to adopt her son. As it turns out, our adopted child has CF. How

ironic eh? We just found out this year. He is now 8. His bmom didn't

know it ran in her family. They still won't acknowlege the CF gene

runs through the family. She has two other children and has refused

to have them tested for CF.

My suggestion is to do a foreign adoption from either Korea or

China. There are some excellent programs in either country. Basically

you go through the homestudy to be approved, plunk down the required

fee and wait your turn. Domestic adoptions are filled with so many

failed adoptions these days you must really be patient and may pay

over and over the adoption fee and still have empty arms. After going

through IVF, I know you must have a limited amount of cash. You want

to go to a program where you are pretty much assured you will get a

child. I know you can't take any more heart ache. You will not get a

boy through the China program. I have heard of families getting a boy

through Korea. Korea has an excellent system of in house fostering

and the children get a lot of caring attention.

jan

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Jan--most of us are carrying more unusual genes and mutations than

we ever thought--and cf is far more wide-spread than we ever thought. This in

my

opinion, as the grandmother of many adopted children was an excellent post.

Love to you and to all the parents who take on children who are an even more un

known entity to them than even their own might have been!

Love to all parents, kids, adopted kids and those of us who think we are adults

(abeit, wcf) and caring grandparents, aunts, uncles, boyfriends on this list!

n Rojas

Re: anyone adopted a child?

1. Get pregnant naturally and do a CVS test. We did

> >that over the summer and the test results indicated an even more

rare

> >chromosomal problem (1 in 5000) so we chose not to continue with

the

> >pregnancy. I likely would have miscarried anyway. 2. Adopt.

I understand how difficult it is. Devastating I know. Been there

and I don't want to return to the hopelessness. I, too, tried IVF but

not because of CF but because I got married late in life (38). It

didn't work for me and I ended up with ovarian cysts from the meds.

We adopted a domestic newborn. Actually the birthmother called me

to adopt her son. As it turns out, our adopted child has CF. How

ironic eh? We just found out this year. He is now 8. His bmom didn't

know it ran in her family. They still won't acknowlege the CF gene

runs through the family. She has two other children and has refused

to have them tested for CF.

My suggestion is to do a foreign adoption from either Korea or

China. There are some excellent programs in either country. Basically

you go through the homestudy to be approved, plunk down the required

fee and wait your turn. Domestic adoptions are filled with so many

failed adoptions these days you must really be patient and may pay

over and over the adoption fee and still have empty arms. After going

through IVF, I know you must have a limited amount of cash. You want

to go to a program where you are pretty much assured you will get a

child. I know you can't take any more heart ache. You will not get a

boy through the China program. I have heard of families getting a boy

through Korea. Korea has an excellent system of in house fostering

and the children get a lot of caring attention.

jan

-------------------------------------------

The opinions and information exchanged on this list should IN NO WAY

be construed as medical advice.

PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS.

------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

,

Many people have the belief that they could never love an adopted

child as much as they love their own biological child. My husband

and I also felt that way ourselves quite a few years ago. Our son

w/CF (now 18) was the center of our world, as I'm sure you know we

love him with all our heart. We were afraid to have another child

with CF and really didn't PLAN to adopt... it just happened. The

adoption was domestic, and we were chosen by the teen birth-mom to

adopt her baby boy. What a blessing! It didn't take long for us

to " bond " with him and I can tell you honestly and whole-heartedly

that I love him as much as my biological son; I cannot define or

describe any difference at all. Love does NOT understand genetics.

He is now ten years old and such a sweet, loving and caring young

individual, I couldn't imagine our lives without him.... Please don't

rule out adoption for that reason. Just my point of view.

Kelli

___________________________________________________________________

> Our 2nd round of In Vitro didn't work. For some reason, although I

> am normally fertile, the little embryos just didn't want to stick.

> We were using IVF using pre implantation genetic diagnosis to avoid

> having another child with cf. We spent nearly $30,000 and have

> NOTHING to show for it except for a bruised butt from injections.

>

> Anyway, we have 2 choices left to provide a sibling for our 2 and

1/2

> yr old son wcf. 1. Get pregnant naturally and do a CVS test. We

did

> that over the summer and the test results indicated an even more

rare

> chromosomal problem (1 in 5000) so we chose not to continue with

the

> pregnancy. I likely would have miscarried anyway. 2. Adopt. I

> don't know if I am real excited about adopting. We have been

through

> so much with our son that I don't think I could love another child

as

> much. And what birthmother would want to give their child to a

> couple who has to spend so much time attending to their biological

> child. They would also be frightened of the words " Cystic

Fibrosis " .

> They'd probably think it was contagious.

>

> So any advice? Anyone have a biological child and then adopted and

> infant domestically? We are at a total loss. Very devastated by

the

> negative pregnancy test results and still desperately want a

healthy

> child. Why does this all have to be so hard? Damn damn damn CF.

>

> mom to Ashton 2 1/2 wcf

[Guest guest]

We did it the other way around. We adopted first and then had a child with cf.

I wouldn't worry about not loving the child as much though. Once they tell you

that child is yours...it is yours. :-) If you would like to email my addy is

johndawn@... my yahoo chat id is Gilgwaith if you'd rather chat.

Dawn mom of 4, 7 and under, the youngest wcf

anyone adopted a child?

Our 2nd round of In Vitro didn't work. For some reason, although I

am normally fertile, the little embryos just didn't want to stick.

We were using IVF using pre implantation genetic diagnosis to avoid

having another child with cf. We spent nearly $30,000 and have

NOTHING to show for it except for a bruised butt from injections.

Anyway, we have 2 choices left to provide a sibling for our 2 and 1/2

yr old son wcf. 1. Get pregnant naturally and do a CVS test. We did

that over the summer and the test results indicated an even more rare

chromosomal problem (1 in 5000) so we chose not to continue with the

pregnancy. I likely would have miscarried anyway. 2. Adopt. I

don't know if I am real excited about adopting. We have been through

so much with our son that I don't think I could love another child as

much. And what birthmother would want to give their child to a

couple who has to spend so much time attending to their biological

child. They would also be frightened of the words " Cystic Fibrosis " .

They'd probably think it was contagious.

So any advice? Anyone have a biological child and then adopted and

infant domestically? We are at a total loss. Very devastated by the

negative pregnancy test results and still desperately want a healthy

child. Why does this all have to be so hard? Damn damn damn CF.

mom to Ashton 2 1/2 wcf

-------------------------------------------

The opinions and information exchanged on this list should IN NO WAY

be construed as medical advice.

PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE CHANGING ANY MEDICATIONS OR TREATMENTS.

------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Kelli,

I didn't realise that your youngest was only ten. For some reason, I

thought that he was around 15. Go figure. They are SO CUTE at ten!!!

This is terrible, but I only remember 's name. What is your

other boy's name? How is doing? Is he still in the hospital?

I don't have access to email. I am using my niece's computer. We

are visiting Dave's family in CA. I met n for lunch today.

n is an interesting lady.

Love,

Gale

> > Our 2nd round of In Vitro didn't work. For some reason, although

I

> > am normally fertile, the little embryos just didn't want to

stick.

> > We were using IVF using pre implantation genetic diagnosis to

avoid

> > having another child with cf. We spent nearly $30,000 and have

> > NOTHING to show for it except for a bruised butt from

injections.

> >

> > Anyway, we have 2 choices left to provide a sibling for our 2 and

> 1/2

> > yr old son wcf. 1. Get pregnant naturally and do a CVS test. We

> did

> > that over the summer and the test results indicated an even more

> rare

> > chromosomal problem (1 in 5000) so we chose not to continue with

> the

> > pregnancy. I likely would have miscarried anyway. 2. Adopt. I

> > don't know if I am real excited about adopting. We have been

> through

> > so much with our son that I don't think I could love another

child

> as

> > much. And what birthmother would want to give their child to a

> > couple who has to spend so much time attending to their

biological

> > child. They would also be frightened of the words " Cystic

> Fibrosis " .

> > They'd probably think it was contagious.

> >

> > So any advice? Anyone have a biological child and then adopted

and

> > infant domestically? We are at a total loss. Very devastated by

> the

> > negative pregnancy test results and still desperately want a

> healthy

> > child. Why does this all have to be so hard? Damn damn damn CF.

> >

> > mom to Ashton 2 1/2 wcf