Guest guest Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 Ok, what I am going to say now will sound like religion but it's not (although you may want to take it in that way). Note that there is no mentioning of religion or God, just the mentioning of a little story (which you may replace with any other wordly event). In the Old Testament there is a story of 's son being sold as a slave and the father thinking that he died. For twenty years, the father thinks the son was dead and could not find comfort. He mourned for all 20 years. Later on, he finds out that ph not only is alive but is the vice-King of the whole civilized world. Basically, what happened is that mourned for 20 years when he didn't need to. Had he known what was going on, he should have been rejoicing exceedingly. We should take a lesson from the story. I don't think we are on the level of being able to be happy when death occurs, but we should at least be on the level of not becoming sad when the sad events didn't happen yet. From the beginning of my knowing about CF in my child, my question has been: " what's the worse case scenario and is there hope " . I want to know what's the worse scenario in order to know if there is reason to be happy - if the child will live ok, then there's no reason to worry. A child with an OK life is a major blessing - many people today can't have children and many don't even find their soulmate. " is there hope " - If there is hope, then too, let's be happy and confident that the best outcome will be achieved. It would be a terrible loss if we were to worry for so many years when later on, it's found that our fears didn't materialize. Even if the worse materializes, we have done the right thing in living our lives in the best way we could. It takes training not to be pessimistic, but it's something we must do. So, in summary, I tell my wife: " the operation will go well, the child will recover well and the cure will be found in 30 years from now - don't worry about what you " don't know " . > Dear , > I know I am a bit behind in some of my posts today as I have been away > at conf. BUT. > I do want to send best wishes for all the get well thoughts I can for > that wee one of yours. Surgery so young is harder mentally on the > parents. Our had surgery at 2 days & of course we were all scared > to death ............She is fine and all of 19+ years now , You'll be > looking back one day too with great results. Progress is being made.. > > LOVE & HUGS, > grandmomBEV > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 You are right. It's hard to keep that mind set though. We tend to fear the " unknown " . Gale > > Dear , > > I know I am a bit behind in some of my posts today as I have been > away > > at conf. BUT. > > I do want to send best wishes for all the get well thoughts I can > for > > that wee one of yours. Surgery so young is harder mentally on the > > parents. Our had surgery at 2 days & of course we were all > scared > > to death ............She is fine and all of 19+ years now , You'll > be > > looking back one day too with great results. Progress is being > made.. > > > > LOVE & HUGS, > > grandmomBEV > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 Rosemary, My CF center is the Columbia Hospital. I understand the pain you must be going through. It must be very hard. But still, the pain of those who cannot have children or marry is even greater. They would exchange their lives for yours anytime (if they are truly loving people). You are married....your husband makes some money...that alone is a major blessing. Most of the people in this world go through some kind of a big hardship. Even the very rich with wonderful children, sometimes end up in bitter divorce, jail or some other problem. Basically, every one of us come here with a different challenge. You may not know what's your neighbour challange, but it's there; and if you knew it, you woldn't want to trade places! If money is the problem, I think if you put the right effort, you can find a solution. I am sure that you could find some donors to help you out on some of the costs. And guess what....the most meaningful life is not the easiest one! It's the one that is covered with challenges and you overcome them! You will get highly paid for your efforts! More than you could ever think about! You have the potential to become one of the richest spiritual person in your surroundings! > Very eloquently said and I agree to a certain extent but maybe my situation > is different in that the time spent on treatments and money spent on co-pays > have killed us. With the kids sick at different times many plans are changed. > My kids are to the age of undertstanding and HATING IT! My husband was my > soulmate - whom I adored but CF has reaked havoc everywhere in my life. His > coping skills are escape and denial and I live in the real world. > > yes I hope hope for a cure, but for me I sometimes think of the Titanic --- > with one child its easy to be hopeful with 3 you wonder " What are the odds of > all three getting a lifeboat? " I am really an optimist and a realist. > > , you sound like I did 7 years ago...when we thought only my daughter > had it. 2 diagnosis' later I am optimistic but a realist maybe even a > cynic...........Hope is what keeps us going. Without it why would any us get up and > spend 3-4 hours a day doing treatments. My life is my children. Your wife > is lucky you are so supportive..........STAY THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!! Its the day > in day out living with CF that wears you down. > > What CF Center are you at? > > Rosemary in NY with 3 children (13, 11 and 7) > with CF. I have a dog named TOBI and have > coined the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 Ops, Noticed several typos in my message. Plese frogrive mi... Also noticed that I spoke about spirituality...is that included in the religion ban? It was without mentioning any specific religion or God... Not sure what to say. I understand that we don't want to get into controversial issues of religion. I will obey the club rules...I will try to send private email next time. & Bathseva, Shira 7woCF, Tova 2woCF and BabyBoy wCF (all assumptions). > > Very eloquently said and I agree to a certain extent but maybe my > situation > > is different in that the time spent on treatments and money spent > on co-pays > > have killed us. With the kids sick at different times many plans > are changed. > > My kids are to the age of undertstanding and HATING IT! My husband > was my > > soulmate - whom I adored but CF has reaked havoc everywhere in my > life. His > > coping skills are escape and denial and I live in the real world. > > > > yes I hope hope for a cure, but for me I sometimes think of the > Titanic --- > > with one child its easy to be hopeful with 3 you wonder " What are > the odds of > > all three getting a lifeboat? " I am really an optimist and a > realist. > > > > , you sound like I did 7 years ago...when we thought only my > daughter > > had it. 2 diagnosis' later I am optimistic but a realist maybe > even a > > cynic...........Hope is what keeps us going. Without it why would > any us get up and > > spend 3-4 hours a day doing treatments. My life is my children. > Your wife > > is lucky you are so supportive..........STAY THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!! > Its the day > > in day out living with CF that wears you down. > > > > What CF Center are you at? > > > > Rosemary in NY with 3 children (13, 11 and 7) > > with CF. I have a dog named TOBI and have > > coined the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT " > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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