Re: to Sandy

[Guest guest]

Heidi,

I am not sure that I can really handle all this right now. I had not

even planned to go to my mom's funeral if she was to have one right

away. Now I MUST go to my best friends husbands. No choice. She asked

me straight forward if I was coming and when I told her I didn't think I

could do this, she changed the subject. Then awhile later she called me

to go to a Christian store in my town and get her a St. Jude statue for

her husbands coffin. I asked when she wanted it and she said today or

tomorrow. Then asked who all was coming to her husbands funeral from my

family. When I told her I would be there if I could make it but not my

son or my husband, she was a little unhappy. When I wasn't going to my

mom's funeral, it was a choice I made and didn't care what my siblings

thought of me for it. If I never spoke to them again, it would have

been ok with me. But this is my best friend. If I don't go she will

never forgive me. As it it was she was urging me to go to my mom's as

she didn't understand my decision not to go. My mom hasn't even been

buried yet. That won't be until July. This is all too fresh for me to

handle right now. It has brought back all the grief, memories, sadness,

lonliness and heartache of losing and missing my mom. I am a wreck. My

husband doesn't " do " funerals and won't go and I don't know that I

really would want him to go with me anyway as he isn't a source of

strength or real comfort for me. He isn't going to go to my mom's

either. I asked another friend to go but she has to work. I will not

take my 13 year old as he didn't really know Dale so I don't see the

need in making him attend a funeral yet. I really don't know what to do

and I swear this is being more than I can handle. Besides a person whom

I was engaged to will be there and it is the most uncomfortable feeling

in the world to be around him so I have avoided him like the plague

forever. It didn't end well to say the least. He ended up cheating on

me. And yes, even though I am married now and have been for many years,

I still have strong feelings for this person and don't think I can

handle all this in one situation at once. My grandma always told me that

God will never give me more than I can handle. I don't see where this

is the truth here. I can't handle all this. I am just a wreck. You

know what? I am actually praying for a pancreatic attack to at least get

me through this week if nothing else.

Sandy in California

hhessgriffeth wrote:

>Dear Sandy,

>

>I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's great loss. You must feel numb with

>the shock and sadness of it. Try not to let it make you too blue. I know

that's

>hard not to do, especially since you are still in a grieving process for the

loss

>of your mother. You and your friend really need each other now, and I hope

>you can be of much comfort to her, and she to you.

>

>With love, hope and prayers,

>Heidi

>

>Heidi H. Griffeth

>South Carolina

>SC & SE Regional Rep.

>PAI

>

>Note: All advice and comments are personal opinion only, and

>should not be substituted for professional medical consultation.

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