RE: I need to blow some steam off!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/25/2003 10:55:55 PM Central Standard Time,

spiritmother@... writes:

Maureen,

I know you are so right but I feel so bad for my girls they miss out on so

much because of CF. I don't know how many times I have had to tell my oldest she

can't go to someone's house because she has to come home and do her medicine.

IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!! Now this is just one more thing she will miss out on!

And all because his Grandfather doesn't care about her!! Deb A

You are so very right to be upset but it sounds to me like talking to him is

not going to do any good and really the only sensible thing to do is stay away

from their house. Come holiday time invite them to your house where you set

the rules and if they choose not to come and abide by your rules it is their

loss I know this may be hard on the children at first but it is safer than

dealing with his smoking.

Maureen mother to 3w/o cf and step mom to 2 one with cf

[Guest guest]

You are so very right to be upset but it sounds to me like talking to him is not

going to do any good and really the only sensible thing to do is stay away from

their house. Come holiday time invite them to your house where you set the

rules and if they choose not to come and abide by your rules it is their loss I

know this may be hard on the children at first but it is safer than dealing with

his smoking.

Maureen mother to 3w/o cf and step mom to 2 one with cf

gdattig5@... wrote:

I am so pissed!!!!! We just spent Christmas with my Father in law and every

year I have to worry about someone smoking around my girls. Well, the last few

years I thought I had made myself clear to my father in law and step mother in

law that our girls cannot have smoke around them. But my stubborn Father in

law I think feels like this is my house and I will do what I want! So we get

there and as soon as we walk in the door my middle child that does not have CF

says to me MOM they are smoking in there!! I looked at my husband and said did

you hear Lynzie they are smoking!! He says to me I know and shrugs his

shoulder and I know everyone heard what we were talking about so they quickly

smoked

the rest of their cigarettes. I told the girls to stay in the kitchen the

farthest away from the room they were in. So OK everyone starts to eat (So know

one was smoking at that time which was so very nice of them NOT!!!) and thank

god it was nice out because as soon as we get done eating I talked the girls

into going outside and ride the 4 wheelers which I didn't have to ask them

twice.

Well, after about an hour of being outside my youngest who is 6 decides she

wants to come inside and have some dessert. I tell her again and everyone heard

me please stay in the kitchen so you can stay away from the smoke. Well, I am

sure you know how well that went before long she was begging me to go into

another room were everyone else was. I finally agreed because know one is

smoking in that room. Well, while we were in there my father in law wonders in

that

room WITH A CIGARETTE!! I THINK SMOKE WAS COMING OUT OF MY EAR!!!! I sat there

for about 5 minutes and I said Natalynn lets go outside and I quickly grabbed

her and went to the breeze way and my husband comes in from outside and I

look at him and I said lets go home. He knew I was pissed and he said OK. I got

the girls coats on and told them to wait out in the car while I get everything.

I got out of there so fast I hope they realize I was pissed!! When we got

home I was in tears!! My husband drove our four wheeler home so I was in the car

with my two girls that have CF and I was trying to explain to them why we had

to leave so early and while I was doing that I burst in to tears!! I am so mad

at myself for getting so upset in front of them but I couldn't keep it in any

longer. I feel so bad because they got upset and were worried about me.

I just can't understand how a Grandfather can think so little of his

grandkids!! I am so upset that I am in tears just writing this!!! I talk some

more to

my husband and he totally agrees that his Dad will do what he wants to do

because it is his house. I said I am going to have to talk to him and see if I

can

get through to him because obviously my husband can't. So I told him if this

don't work well we will be spend the next Christmas at home! I hate to do this

to our kids but it is not worth risking them getting sick and damaging them

lungs! I just can't think of people that only think of themselves!!!!!!! It is

so unfair for my girls!!!! I guess if they want to see our girls they will

have to come under our turf!! And live by my rules!!! And the funny thing is he

will say to my girls how come you don't come to visit me that much anymore

DUH!!!! HOW CAN I GET THOUGH TO SOMEONE THIS STUBBORN!!!!!!! DO I HAVE TO DRILL

IT

IN YOUR HEAD DUH!!!!!! I even asked my husband does he even realize what CF

is and he said I don't know but he has seen my oldest have PICC lines in and he

know she has had to have surgery but he just doesn't CARE!!! I can't see it

any other way why would someone be so heartless????? I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND

IT!!!!! I am feel so much better just to get this out!! I'm sorry for making

this so long but I really need to vent. I hope every one else's Christmas was

better then mine. Our Christmas at home was the best ever it just went sour when

we had to go to my in (like someone else on here calls it) MY OUTLAWS!!!!!!!!

Thanks again for listening!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

Deb, this one is a heart-breaker--I rather imagine that your father-in-law was

rather

hard on your husband when he was young as well. Your plan to have Christmas

at your house, away from the " out-laws " sounds like it will work; then if they

do

want to come. YOU can pull the " It's my house and I will have things as I

want! "

roputine on HIM! I am so sorry that this happened, but do feel that it is so

impor

tant for the kids to understand it. Your husband may wake up eventually. I

will

send a site on second-hand smoke and kids if I can find it; I will just send the

link with the subject line and your name so anyone can delete it if they wish!

Love to all of you at your house; you have earned it! n Rojas

I need to blow some steam off!!!!!!

I am so pissed!!!!! We just spent Christmas with my Father in law and every

year I have to worry about someone smoking around my girls. Well, the last few

years I thought I had made myself clear to my father in law and step mother in

law that our girls cannot have smoke around them. But my stubborn Father in

law I think feels like this is my house and I will do what I want! So we get

there and as soon as we walk in the door my middle child that does not have CF

says to me MOM they are smoking in there!! I looked at my husband and said did

you hear Lynzie they are smoking!! He says to me I know and shrugs his

shoulder and I know everyone heard what we were talking about so they quickly

smoked

the rest of their cigarettes. I told the girls to stay in the kitchen the

farthest away from the room they were in. So OK everyone starts to eat (So

know

one was smoking at that time which was so very nice of them NOT!!!) and thank

god it was nice out because as soon as we get done eating I talked the girls

into going outside and ride the 4 wheelers which I didn't have to ask them

twice.

Well, after about an hour of being outside my youngest who is 6 decides she

wants to come inside and have some dessert. I tell her again and everyone

heard

me please stay in the kitchen so you can stay away from the smoke. Well, I am

sure you know how well that went before long she was begging me to go into

another room were everyone else was. I finally agreed because know one is

smoking in that room. Well, while we were in there my father in law wonders in

that

room WITH A CIGARETTE!! I THINK SMOKE WAS COMING OUT OF MY EAR!!!! I sat there

for about 5 minutes and I said Natalynn lets go outside and I quickly grabbed

her and went to the breeze way and my husband comes in from outside and I

look at him and I said lets go home. He knew I was pissed and he said OK. I

got

the girls coats on and told them to wait out in the car while I get

everything.

I got out of there so fast I hope they realize I was pissed!! When we got

home I was in tears!! My husband drove our four wheeler home so I was in the

car

with my two girls that have CF and I was trying to explain to them why we had

to leave so early and while I was doing that I burst in to tears!! I am so mad

at myself for getting so upset in front of them but I couldn't keep it in any

longer. I feel so bad because they got upset and were worried about me.

I just can't understand how a Grandfather can think so little of his

grandkids!! I am so upset that I am in tears just writing this!!! I talk some

more to

my husband and he totally agrees that his Dad will do what he wants to do

because it is his house. I said I am going to have to talk to him and see if I

can

get through to him because obviously my husband can't. So I told him if this

don't work well we will be spend the next Christmas at home! I hate to do this

to our kids but it is not worth risking them getting sick and damaging them

lungs! I just can't think of people that only think of themselves!!!!!!! It is

so unfair for my girls!!!! I guess if they want to see our girls they will

have to come under our turf!! And live by my rules!!! And the funny thing is

he

will say to my girls how come you don't come to visit me that much anymore

DUH!!!! HOW CAN I GET THOUGH TO SOMEONE THIS STUBBORN!!!!!!! DO I HAVE TO

DRILL IT

IN YOUR HEAD DUH!!!!!! I even asked my husband does he even realize what CF

is and he said I don't know but he has seen my oldest have PICC lines in and

he

know she has had to have surgery but he just doesn't CARE!!! I can't see it

any other way why would someone be so heartless????? I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND

IT!!!!! I am feel so much better just to get this out!! I'm sorry for making

this so long but I really need to vent. I hope every one else's Christmas was

better then mine. Our Christmas at home was the best ever it just went sour

when

we had to go to my in (like someone else on here calls it) MY OUTLAWS!!!!!!!!

Thanks again for listening!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

Deb,

I'm sorry that your father-in-law had to act like a butt on

Christmas. I'm sure that he does love your girls, but he just

doesn't get it. It puts you in a really tough spot. Maybe you could

send him one of Grandma Bev's video tapes.

Love,

Gale

> I am so pissed!!!!! We just spent Christmas with my Father in law

and every

> year I have to worry about someone smoking around my girls. Well,

the last few

> years I thought I had made myself clear to my father in law and

step mother in

> law that our girls cannot have smoke around them. But my stubborn

Father in

> law I think feels like this is my house and I will do what I want!

So we get

> there and as soon as we walk in the door my middle child that does

not have CF

> says to me MOM they are smoking in there!! I looked at my husband

and said did

> you hear Lynzie they are smoking!! He says to me I know and shrugs

his

> shoulder and I know everyone heard what we were talking about so

they quickly smoked

> the rest of their cigarettes. I told the girls to stay in the

kitchen the

> farthest away from the room they were in. So OK everyone starts to

eat (So know

> one was smoking at that time which was so very nice of them NOT!!!)

and thank

> god it was nice out because as soon as we get done eating I talked

the girls

> into going outside and ride the 4 wheelers which I didn't have to

ask them twice.

> Well, after about an hour of being outside my youngest who is 6

decides she

> wants to come inside and have some dessert. I tell her again and

everyone heard

> me please stay in the kitchen so you can stay away from the smoke.

Well, I am

> sure you know how well that went before long she was begging me to

go into

> another room were everyone else was. I finally agreed because know

one is

> smoking in that room. Well, while we were in there my father in law

wonders in that

> room WITH A CIGARETTE!! I THINK SMOKE WAS COMING OUT OF MY EAR!!!!

I sat there

> for about 5 minutes and I said Natalynn lets go outside and I

quickly grabbed

> her and went to the breeze way and my husband comes in from outside

and I

> look at him and I said lets go home. He knew I was pissed and he

said OK. I got

> the girls coats on and told them to wait out in the car while I get

everything.

> I got out of there so fast I hope they realize I was pissed!! When

we got

> home I was in tears!! My husband drove our four wheeler home so I

was in the car

> with my two girls that have CF and I was trying to explain to them

why we had

> to leave so early and while I was doing that I burst in to tears!!

I am so mad

> at myself for getting so upset in front of them but I couldn't keep

it in any

> longer. I feel so bad because they got upset and were worried about

me.

> I just can't understand how a Grandfather can think so little of

his

> grandkids!! I am so upset that I am in tears just writing this!!! I

talk some more to

> my husband and he totally agrees that his Dad will do what he wants

to do

> because it is his house. I said I am going to have to talk to him

and see if I can

> get through to him because obviously my husband can't. So I told

him if this

> don't work well we will be spend the next Christmas at home! I hate

to do this

> to our kids but it is not worth risking them getting sick and

damaging them

> lungs! I just can't think of people that only think of

themselves!!!!!!! It is

> so unfair for my girls!!!! I guess if they want to see our girls

they will

> have to come under our turf!! And live by my rules!!! And the funny

thing is he

> will say to my girls how come you don't come to visit me that much

anymore

> DUH!!!! HOW CAN I GET THOUGH TO SOMEONE THIS STUBBORN!!!!!!! DO I

HAVE TO DRILL IT

> IN YOUR HEAD DUH!!!!!! I even asked my husband does he even realize

what CF

> is and he said I don't know but he has seen my oldest have PICC

lines in and he

> know she has had to have surgery but he just doesn't CARE!!! I

can't see it

> any other way why would someone be so heartless????? I JUST CAN'T

UNDERSTAND

> IT!!!!! I am feel so much better just to get this out!! I'm sorry

for making

> this so long but I really need to vent. I hope every one else's

Christmas was

> better then mine. Our Christmas at home was the best ever it just

went sour when

> we had to go to my in (like someone else on here calls it) MY

OUTLAWS!!!!!!!!

> Thanks again for listening!! Deb A

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Deb,

You said it so perfectly ...(below)... I'd repeat it to him, just

like you wrote to us. I think that might get through to him.

" I feel so bad for my girls they miss out on so

> much because of CF. I don't know how many times I have had to tell

my oldest she

> can't go to someone's house because she has to come home and do her

medicine.

> IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!! Now this is just one more thing she will miss

out on!

[Guest guest]

I think you were right in what you did, My husband's family is the same way.

We just don't go over there and if we do we stay outside.I know its rough

because its family but they have to accept that this isn't just their lives that

are affected, it ours childrens as well. Yesterday we went over some friends

and bluntly said to a guest don't smoke around me, and she apologized

and went elsewhere.It is a touchy subject, heck my mother in law once told me

that I was no good for my husband, I looked at her and laughed. My husbands

family do nothing but drink and smoke and live life with that kind of attitude.

They don't care about smoking in front of my children even with having

cf. I just stay away. You were right in what you did and your children will be

healthier for it... MHO

KELLY, MOMMY OF MATTHEW 5 YEARS OLD W/CF/ADHD AND JARED 2 YEARS OLD NO CF

[Guest guest]

Deb,

Don't let this slide because it'll be a missed opportunity to educate

him. While it's all fresh in yours and everyone else's mind go ahead

and address it head-on. Then maybe you didn't have a crappy

Christmas for no reason. Write him a letter, give him the video,

whatever. That'll probably work better than a face to face. Sounds

like he's kind of the " tush hog " or " king daddy " around the family

and everyone stays out of his way. Men like that have a way of

dominating the conversation or either pissing you off the way they

receive you and make you say things you shouldn't.

Hey, this is a big deal. I have a REAL domineering father also and

he and I almost come to blows (or we used to) before getting things

straight. I refuse to let him run over me. And in this situation

you and ESPECIALLY your husband are downright obligated to stand up

to him. He is begging for someone to set him straight. It may be

that he just doen't know how serious it is. He's probably used to

people ranting about his smoking and he thinks y'all are just going

overboard. Give him a " CF 101 " short course. Then after you've laid

it out there if he doesn't respect you then you need to tell him to

get lost. I don't think that'll be the case though. I think he's

just a hard-headed fool that doesn't want to face this disease and

let it change any of his rotten habits. Hey the gene on your

husband's side could have come from him anyway.

Really though, confront it NOW. Just don't be too mean right off the

bat. Do let him know you are upset, though. Good luck and keep us

posted.

Joe

> Deb,

>

> You said it so perfectly ...(below)... I'd repeat it to him, just

> like you wrote to us. I think that might get through to him.

>

>

> " I feel so bad for my girls they miss out on so

> > much because of CF. I don't know how many times I have had to

tell

> my oldest she

> > can't go to someone's house because she has to come home and do

her

> medicine.

> > IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!! Now this is just one more thing she will

miss

> out on!

[Guest guest]

DEB ----------

Its call DENIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Rosemary in NY with 3 children (13, 11 and 7)

with CF. I have a dog named TOBI and have

coined the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT "

[Guest guest]

Deb,

I can imagine how mad you are. Totally understandable . I think that the

problem is that people don't absorb things until it hits them right in the face.

(not literally). For example, my sister in law. Her 18 year old daughter is

pregnant. They tested her and she is a carrier. She smokes and I said what are

you going to do if the baby has cf. She said, I guess it will be a good reason

to quit. Welp, it mad me really mad - because they all will light up around my

kids (her nephew). You see what I am saying? Nephews werent close enough to

make her think, but her own grandbaby did. I know it sounds stupid. But, it

seems to be the way it goes. THis is also the reason we dont go to families

xmas things. We stay home. Which in all reality - is nothing new. We just

stay to ourselves. Anyone that comes here knows not to walk in my house lit

up. I wont lie about it - they try though. I just wheel them back around and

out the door.

Anyway, I think that you have every right to be mad.

Vondie

I need to blow some steam off!!!!!!

I am so pissed!!!!! We just spent Christmas with my Father in law and every

year I have to worry about someone smoking around my girls. Well, the

[Guest guest]

Arm all the kids with squirt guns, and pay them a quarter for every

cigarette they shoot out.

Direct any adult that complains to speak with your husband.

_____

From: gdattig5@...

Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2003 10:40 PM

To: cfparents

Subject: I need to blow some steam off!!!!!!

I am so pissed!!!!! We just spent Christmas with my Father in law and every

year I have to worry about someone smoking around my girls. Well, the last

few

years I thought I had made myself clear to my father in law and step mother

in

law that our girls cannot have smoke around them. But my stubborn Father in

law I think feels like this is my house and I will do what I want! So we get

there and as soon as we walk in the door my middle child that does not have

CF

says to me MOM they are smoking in there!! I looked at my husband and said

did

you hear Lynzie they are smoking!! He says to me I know and shrugs his

shoulder and I know everyone heard what we were talking about so they

quickly smoked

the rest of their cigarettes. I told the girls to stay in the kitchen the

farthest away from the room they were in. So OK everyone starts to eat (So

know

one was smoking at that time which was so very nice of them NOT!!!) and

thank

god it was nice out because as soon as we get done eating I talked the girls

into going outside and ride the 4 wheelers which I didn't have to ask them

twice.

Well, after about an hour of being outside my youngest who is 6 decides she

wants to come inside and have some dessert. I tell her again and everyone

heard

me please stay in the kitchen so you can stay away from the smoke. Well, I

am

sure you know how well that went before long she was begging me to go into

another room were everyone else was. I finally agreed because know one is

smoking in that room. Well, while we were in there my father in law wonders

in that

room WITH A CIGARETTE!! I THINK SMOKE WAS COMING OUT OF MY EAR!!!! I sat

there

for about 5 minutes and I said Natalynn lets go outside and I quickly

grabbed

her and went to the breeze way and my husband comes in from outside and I

look at him and I said lets go home. He knew I was pissed and he said OK. I

got

the girls coats on and told them to wait out in the car while I get

everything.

I got out of there so fast I hope they realize I was pissed!! When we got

home I was in tears!! My husband drove our four wheeler home so I was in the

car

with my two girls that have CF and I was trying to explain to them why we

had

to leave so early and while I was doing that I burst in to tears!! I am so

mad

at myself for getting so upset in front of them but I couldn't keep it in

any

longer. I feel so bad because they got upset and were worried about me.

I just can't understand how a Grandfather can think so little of his

grandkids!! I am so upset that I am in tears just writing this!!! I talk

some more to

my husband and he totally agrees that his Dad will do what he wants to do

because it is his house. I said I am going to have to talk to him and see if

I can

get through to him because obviously my husband can't. So I told him if this

don't work well we will be spend the next Christmas at home! I hate to do

this

to our kids but it is not worth risking them getting sick and damaging them

lungs! I just can't think of people that only think of themselves!!!!!!! It

is

so unfair for my girls!!!! I guess if they want to see our girls they will

have to come under our turf!! And live by my rules!!! And the funny thing is

he

will say to my girls how come you don't come to visit me that much anymore

DUH!!!! HOW CAN I GET THOUGH TO SOMEONE THIS STUBBORN!!!!!!! DO I HAVE TO

DRILL IT

IN YOUR HEAD DUH!!!!!! I even asked my husband does he even realize what CF

is and he said I don't know but he has seen my oldest have PICC lines in and

he

know she has had to have surgery but he just doesn't CARE!!! I can't see it

any other way why would someone be so heartless????? I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND

IT!!!!! I am feel so much better just to get this out!! I'm sorry for making

this so long but I really need to vent. I hope every one else's Christmas

was

better then mine. Our Christmas at home was the best ever it just went sour

when

we had to go to my in (like someone else on here calls it) MY

OUTLAWS!!!!!!!!

Thanks again for listening!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

This is a good idea, lol. Hey, entertainment for the kids too. You all know

that the kids would get a kick out of this.

You know, maybe you should have the camcorder ready, it could be material for

AFV, hehe.

Vondie

I need to blow some steam off!!!!!!

I am so pissed!!!!! We just spent Christmas with my Father in law and every

year I have to worry about someone smoking around my girls. Well, the last

few

years I thought I had made myself clear to my father in law and step mother

in

law that our girls cannot have smoke around them. But my stubborn Father in

law I think feels like this is my house and I will do what I want! So we get

there and as soon as we walk in the door my middle child that does not have

CF

says to me MOM they are smoking in there!! I looked at my husband and said

did

you hear Lynzie they are smoking!! He says to me I know and shrugs his

shoulder and I know everyone heard what we were talking about so they

quickly smoked

the rest of their cigarettes. I told the girls to stay in the kitchen the

farthest away from the room they were in. So OK everyone starts to eat (So

know

one was smoking at that time which was so very nice of them NOT!!!) and

thank

god it was nice out because as soon as we get done eating I talked the girls

into going outside and ride the 4 wheelers which I didn't have to ask them

twice.

Well, after about an hour of being outside my youngest who is 6 decides she

wants to come inside and have some dessert. I tell her again and everyone

heard

me please stay in the kitchen so you can stay away from the smoke. Well, I

am

sure you know how well that went before long she was begging me to go into

another room were everyone else was. I finally agreed because know one is

smoking in that room. Well, while we were in there my father in law wonders

in that

room WITH A CIGARETTE!! I THINK SMOKE WAS COMING OUT OF MY EAR!!!! I sat

there

for about 5 minutes and I said Natalynn lets go outside and I quickly

grabbed

her and went to the breeze way and my husband comes in from outside and I

look at him and I said lets go home. He knew I was pissed and he said OK. I

got

the girls coats on and told them to wait out in the car while I get

everything.

I got out of there so fast I hope they realize I was pissed!! When we got

home I was in tears!! My husband drove our four wheeler home so I was in the

car

with my two girls that have CF and I was trying to explain to them why we

had

to leave so early and while I was doing that I burst in to tears!! I am so

mad

at myself for getting so upset in front of them but I couldn't keep it in

any

longer. I feel so bad because they got upset and were worried about me.

I just can't understand how a Grandfather can think so little of his

grandkids!! I am so upset that I am in tears just writing this!!! I talk

some more to

my husband and he totally agrees that his Dad will do what he wants to do

because it is his house. I said I am going to have to talk to him and see if

I can

get through to him because obviously my husband can't. So I told him if this

don't work well we will be spend the next Christmas at home! I hate to do

this

to our kids but it is not worth risking them getting sick and damaging them

lungs! I just can't think of people that only think of themselves!!!!!!! It

is

so unfair for my girls!!!! I guess if they want to see our girls they will

have to come under our turf!! And live by my rules!!! And the funny thing is

he

will say to my girls how come you don't come to visit me that much anymore

DUH!!!! HOW CAN I GET THOUGH TO SOMEONE THIS STUBBORN!!!!!!! DO I HAVE TO

DRILL IT

IN YOUR HEAD DUH!!!!!! I even asked my husband does he even realize what CF

is and he said I don't know but he has seen my oldest have PICC lines in and

he

know she has had to have surgery but he just doesn't CARE!!! I can't see it

any other way why would someone be so heartless????? I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND

IT!!!!! I am feel so much better just to get this out!! I'm sorry for making

this so long but I really need to vent. I hope every one else's Christmas

was

better then mine. Our Christmas at home was the best ever it just went sour

when

we had to go to my in (like someone else on here calls it) MY

OUTLAWS!!!!!!!!

Thanks again for listening!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

Dear Deb,

I have one thing to say and that is that this totally sucks!! I am so thankful

no one in either of our families smokes! Good lord I can't understand how they

could smoke around your girls who have LUNG DISEASE through no fault of their

own!! Tthey keep up the smoking and they will find out what lung disease is all

about, and it surely will open their selfish eyes.

Best wishes for a better new year,

love,

M

[Guest guest]

For those who are addicted to smoking. They only can see what time it is

and when the next cigarette will be. I am a former smoker and I can testify

that it was the hardest thing I have ever quit in my life. You really don't

realize just how much the smoke the residue and the whole thing really

effects everyone around you.

It is our job as parents and grandparents to make sure our children are not

exposed to that and that we teach those who don't understand. Even when

they don't want to be taught.

Keep on keepin on.

Tina W

Re: I need to blow some steam off!!!!!!

Dear Deb,

I have one thing to say and that is that this totally sucks!! I am so

thankful no one in either of our families smokes! Good lord I can't

understand how they could smoke around your girls who have LUNG DISEASE

through no fault of their own!! Tthey keep up the smoking and they will

find out what lung disease is all about, and it surely will open their

selfish eyes.

Best wishes for a better new year,

love,

M

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/26/2003 8:16:23 AM Central Standard Time,

findacureforcf@... writes:

KELLY,

I just can't understand someone you would think he would do anything for his

grandkids but can't stay away from a cigarette long enough. It just don't make

sense!!! All I can think his he doesn't care. Deb A

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/26/2003 8:09:11 AM Central Standard Time,

reamsfarm@... writes:

Really though, confront it NOW. Just don't be too mean right off the

bat. Do let him know you are upset, though. Good luck and keep us

posted.

Joe

I'm afraid if I go over there now I will not be very nice so I really think I

need time to cool off. But you are right I need to address this to him

because I have done everything else but address him. I have talked to my husband

step Mom and it went through one ear and then the other. I am tired of this

fight! I am tired of being nice! I am ready to tell him exactly how I feel but I

am

afraid my girls will lose a Grandfather but I guess that is better then

losing them!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/26/2003 12:35:58 PM Central Standard Time,

michael_vau@... writes:

Arm all the kids with squirt guns, and pay them a quarter for every

cigarette they shoot out.

Thanks for the laugh I really need it!! I knew I could count on someone to

make me laugh!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/26/2003 2:01:44 PM Central Standard Time,

ROSEMARY3FOR3wCF@... writes:

Rosemary

I know you are right but why is it so hard it has been 6 years now since my

girls were diagnosed why are they still denying it?? Deb A

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/26/2003 2:38:38 PM Central Standard Time,

brmorey@... writes:

Dear Deb,

I have one thing to say and that is that this totally sucks!! I am so

thankful no one in either of our families smokes! Good lord I can't understand

how

they could smoke around your girls who have LUNG DISEASE through no fault of

their own!! Tthey keep up the smoking and they will find out what lung disease

is all about, and it surely will open their selfish eyes.

Best wishes for a better new year,

love,

M

Well the sad thing is is 's step mom suffers from empysema but still

continues to smoke!! How stupid is that!!!!!!!!!!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

OOOHHH! Squirt guns! I like that one!!!!

I need to blow some steam off!!!!!!

I am so pissed!!!!! We just spent Christmas with my Father in law and every

year I have to worry about someone smoking around my girls. Well, the last

few

years I thought I had made myself clear to my father in law and step mother

in

law that our girls cannot have smoke around them. But my stubborn Father in

law I think feels like this is my house and I will do what I want! So we get

there and as soon as we walk in the door my middle child that does not have

CF

says to me MOM they are smoking in there!! I looked at my husband and said

did

you hear Lynzie they are smoking!! He says to me I know and shrugs his

shoulder and I know everyone heard what we were talking about so they

quickly smoked

the rest of their cigarettes. I told the girls to stay in the kitchen the

farthest away from the room they were in. So OK everyone starts to eat (So

know

one was smoking at that time which was so very nice of them NOT!!!) and

thank

god it was nice out because as soon as we get done eating I talked the girls

into going outside and ride the 4 wheelers which I didn't have to ask them

twice.

Well, after about an hour of being outside my youngest who is 6 decides she

wants to come inside and have some dessert. I tell her again and everyone

heard

me please stay in the kitchen so you can stay away from the smoke. Well, I

am

sure you know how well that went before long she was begging me to go into

another room were everyone else was. I finally agreed because know one is

smoking in that room. Well, while we were in there my father in law wonders

in that

room WITH A CIGARETTE!! I THINK SMOKE WAS COMING OUT OF MY EAR!!!! I sat

there

for about 5 minutes and I said Natalynn lets go outside and I quickly

grabbed

her and went to the breeze way and my husband comes in from outside and I

look at him and I said lets go home. He knew I was pissed and he said OK. I

got

the girls coats on and told them to wait out in the car while I get

everything.

I got out of there so fast I hope they realize I was pissed!! When we got

home I was in tears!! My husband drove our four wheeler home so I was in the

car

with my two girls that have CF and I was trying to explain to them why we

had

to leave so early and while I was doing that I burst in to tears!! I am so

mad

at myself for getting so upset in front of them but I couldn't keep it in

any

longer. I feel so bad because they got upset and were worried about me.

I just can't understand how a Grandfather can think so little of his

grandkids!! I am so upset that I am in tears just writing this!!! I talk

some more to

my husband and he totally agrees that his Dad will do what he wants to do

because it is his house. I said I am going to have to talk to him and see if

I can

get through to him because obviously my husband can't. So I told him if this

don't work well we will be spend the next Christmas at home! I hate to do

this

to our kids but it is not worth risking them getting sick and damaging them

lungs! I just can't think of people that only think of themselves!!!!!!! It

is

so unfair for my girls!!!! I guess if they want to see our girls they will

have to come under our turf!! And live by my rules!!! And the funny thing is

he

will say to my girls how come you don't come to visit me that much anymore

DUH!!!! HOW CAN I GET THOUGH TO SOMEONE THIS STUBBORN!!!!!!! DO I HAVE TO

DRILL IT

IN YOUR HEAD DUH!!!!!! I even asked my husband does he even realize what CF

is and he said I don't know but he has seen my oldest have PICC lines in and

he

know she has had to have surgery but he just doesn't CARE!!! I can't see it

any other way why would someone be so heartless????? I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND

IT!!!!! I am feel so much better just to get this out!! I'm sorry for making

this so long but I really need to vent. I hope every one else's Christmas

was

better then mine. Our Christmas at home was the best ever it just went sour

when

we had to go to my in (like someone else on here calls it) MY

OUTLAWS!!!!!!!!

Thanks again for listening!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/26/2003 3:35:46 PM Central Standard Time,

drea@... writes:

I am a former smoker and I know how hard it is to quit, my hubby is still

struggling to quit. He smokes only outside, far away from .

My husband sneaks a cigarette now and then too but at least he has the

decency to do it when the kids are not around!!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

Deb,

I am so sorry that your father in law is so clueless. I would call and tell

them " I am sorry but we cannot attend any more parties at your house. I

realize that it is your home and you will do as you like there. Since smoking

in the house is so much more important to you than the health of your

grandchildren, I as a parent, as a sane human being, cannot and will not expose

them to the smoke in your home. Our children have a chronic FATAL lung disease

and inhaling your smoke does damage to their already fragile lungs. If you care

to see them at your home, you must agree to not smoke in the house while they

are there. Otherwise you are welcome to see them here, in our home where you

must follow our rules. " Do not wait until next time, call or write to them

right away. This is serious. You are not asking them to do anything more

difficult than to get away from your children to light up.

I am a former smoker and I know how hard it is to quit, my hubby is still

struggling to quit. He smokes only outside, far away from .

mom of 5 with CF

I need to blow some steam off!!!!!!

I am so pissed!!!!! We just spent Christmas with my Father in law and every

year I have to worry about someone smoking around my girls. Well, the last few

years I thought I had made myself clear to my father in law and step mother in

law that our girls cannot have smoke around them. But my stubborn Father in

law I think feels like this is my house and I will do what I want! So we get

there and as soon as we walk in the door my middle child that does not have CF

says to me MOM they are smoking in there!! I looked at my husband and said did

you hear Lynzie they are smoking!! He says to me I know and shrugs his

shoulder and I know everyone heard what we were talking about so they quickly

smoked

the rest of their cigarettes. I told the girls to stay in the kitchen the

farthest away from the room they were in. So OK everyone starts to eat (So

know

one was smoking at that time which was so very nice of them NOT!!!) and thank

god it was nice out because as soon as we get done eating I talked the girls

into going outside and ride the 4 wheelers which I didn't have to ask them

twice.

Well, after about an hour of being outside my youngest who is 6 decides she

wants to come inside and have some dessert. I tell her again and everyone

heard

me please stay in the kitchen so you can stay away from the smoke. Well, I am

sure you know how well that went before long she was begging me to go into

another room were everyone else was. I finally agreed because know one is

smoking in that room. Well, while we were in there my father in law wonders in

that

room WITH A CIGARETTE!! I THINK SMOKE WAS COMING OUT OF MY EAR!!!! I sat there

for about 5 minutes and I said Natalynn lets go outside and I quickly grabbed

her and went to the breeze way and my husband comes in from outside and I

look at him and I said lets go home. He knew I was pissed and he said OK. I

got

the girls coats on and told them to wait out in the car while I get

everything.

I got out of there so fast I hope they realize I was pissed!! When we got

home I was in tears!! My husband drove our four wheeler home so I was in the

car

with my two girls that have CF and I was trying to explain to them why we had

to leave so early and while I was doing that I burst in to tears!! I am so mad

at myself for getting so upset in front of them but I couldn't keep it in any

longer. I feel so bad because they got upset and were worried about me.

I just can't understand how a Grandfather can think so little of his

grandkids!! I am so upset that I am in tears just writing this!!! I talk some

more to

my husband and he totally agrees that his Dad will do what he wants to do

because it is his house. I said I am going to have to talk to him and see if I

can

get through to him because obviously my husband can't. So I told him if this

don't work well we will be spend the next Christmas at home! I hate to do this

to our kids but it is not worth risking them getting sick and damaging them

lungs! I just can't think of people that only think of themselves!!!!!!! It is

so unfair for my girls!!!! I guess if they want to see our girls they will

have to come under our turf!! And live by my rules!!! And the funny thing is

he

will say to my girls how come you don't come to visit me that much anymore

DUH!!!! HOW CAN I GET THOUGH TO SOMEONE THIS STUBBORN!!!!!!! DO I HAVE TO

DRILL IT

IN YOUR HEAD DUH!!!!!! I even asked my husband does he even realize what CF

is and he said I don't know but he has seen my oldest have PICC lines in and

he

know she has had to have surgery but he just doesn't CARE!!! I can't see it

any other way why would someone be so heartless????? I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND

IT!!!!! I am feel so much better just to get this out!! I'm sorry for making

this so long but I really need to vent. I hope every one else's Christmas was

better then mine. Our Christmas at home was the best ever it just went sour

when

we had to go to my in (like someone else on here calls it) MY OUTLAWS!!!!!!!!

Thanks again for listening!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/26/2003 8:17:37 PM Central Standard Time,

spiritmother@... writes:

my stepfather was diagnosed with black lung and went around tethered to an

oxygen tank for 3 years and kept smoking the whole time now that is what you

call stupid. Oh and yes it did finally kill him

Maureen

I can't understand why or how putting smoke threw your body and be so

exciting I just don't get it!! Why don't they just drink gasoline it would kill

them

much faster!!!!!!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

Yeah! Appeals to my eternally five-year-old self! n Rojas

GOOOOOOOOO, Squirt guns!

I need to blow some steam off!!!!!!

I am so pissed!!!!! We just spent Christmas with my Father in law and every

year I have to worry about someone smoking around my girls. Well, the last

few

years I thought I had made myself clear to my father in law and step mother

in

law that our girls cannot have smoke around them. But my stubborn Father in

law I think feels like this is my house and I will do what I want! So we get

there and as soon as we walk in the door my middle child that does not have

CF

says to me MOM they are smoking in there!! I looked at my husband and said

did

you hear Lynzie they are smoking!! He says to me I know and shrugs his

shoulder and I know everyone heard what we were talking about so they

quickly smoked

the rest of their cigarettes. I told the girls to stay in the kitchen the

farthest away from the room they were in. So OK everyone starts to eat (So

know

one was smoking at that time which was so very nice of them NOT!!!) and

thank

god it was nice out because as soon as we get done eating I talked the girls

into going outside and ride the 4 wheelers which I didn't have to ask them

twice.

Well, after about an hour of being outside my youngest who is 6 decides she

wants to come inside and have some dessert. I tell her again and everyone

heard

me please stay in the kitchen so you can stay away from the smoke. Well, I

am

sure you know how well that went before long she was begging me to go into

another room were everyone else was. I finally agreed because know one is

smoking in that room. Well, while we were in there my father in law wonders

in that

room WITH A CIGARETTE!! I THINK SMOKE WAS COMING OUT OF MY EAR!!!! I sat

there

for about 5 minutes and I said Natalynn lets go outside and I quickly

grabbed

her and went to the breeze way and my husband comes in from outside and I

look at him and I said lets go home. He knew I was pissed and he said OK. I

got

the girls coats on and told them to wait out in the car while I get

everything.

I got out of there so fast I hope they realize I was pissed!! When we got

home I was in tears!! My husband drove our four wheeler home so I was in the

car

with my two girls that have CF and I was trying to explain to them why we

had

to leave so early and while I was doing that I burst in to tears!! I am so

mad

at myself for getting so upset in front of them but I couldn't keep it in

any

longer. I feel so bad because they got upset and were worried about me.

I just can't understand how a Grandfather can think so little of his

grandkids!! I am so upset that I am in tears just writing this!!! I talk

some more to

my husband and he totally agrees that his Dad will do what he wants to do

because it is his house. I said I am going to have to talk to him and see if

I can

get through to him because obviously my husband can't. So I told him if this

don't work well we will be spend the next Christmas at home! I hate to do

this

to our kids but it is not worth risking them getting sick and damaging them

lungs! I just can't think of people that only think of themselves!!!!!!! It

is

so unfair for my girls!!!! I guess if they want to see our girls they will

have to come under our turf!! And live by my rules!!! And the funny thing is

he

will say to my girls how come you don't come to visit me that much anymore

DUH!!!! HOW CAN I GET THOUGH TO SOMEONE THIS STUBBORN!!!!!!! DO I HAVE TO

DRILL IT

IN YOUR HEAD DUH!!!!!! I even asked my husband does he even realize what CF

is and he said I don't know but he has seen my oldest have PICC lines in and

he

know she has had to have surgery but he just doesn't CARE!!! I can't see it

any other way why would someone be so heartless????? I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND

IT!!!!! I am feel so much better just to get this out!! I'm sorry for making

this so long but I really need to vent. I hope every one else's Christmas

was

better then mine. Our Christmas at home was the best ever it just went sour

when

we had to go to my in (like someone else on here calls it) MY

OUTLAWS!!!!!!!!

Thanks again for listening!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

my stepfather was diagnosed with black lung and went around tethered to an

oxygen tank for 3 years and kept smoking the whole time now that is what you

call stupid. Oh and yes it did finally kill him

Maureen

Well the sad thing is is 's step mom suffers from empysema but still

continues to smoke!! How stupid is that!!!!!!!!!!! Deb A

[Guest guest]

No grand father is better than one that doesn't care. I grew up without grand

parents and I turned out fine. But when it comes to your girls you are their

ONLY defense, and I know from experience, husbands WILL NOT deal with their own

families. It is obviously up to the wife to be the bad guy. THANK GOD that is

one department that I don't have trouble with. If you piss me off or mess with

my kids THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY : ) Don't be afraid of the guy, and be mean

if you have to sometimes that is the only was stubborn old men will listen.

Sorry if I rambled, but it is 2:45 am and I obviously can't sleep, lol.

Katy

Mom to Austin 4 no CF & Piper 17 months w/CF