Daughter Cheating At Ex-Wive's House (Advice!)

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone...

My 9 year old autistic daugther and i (and my 11 year old normal

daugther) have been on the diet for about 6 months now, or so i keep

thinking but am finding out otherwise...

Here is the issue...

My ex 'says' she is doing the diet 100% and gets really defensive if

i even suggest that Molly is being allowed to cheat some...

This summer my sisters daughter finally spilled the beans and told

me that when she was over at my ex's house with Molly that Molly was

not really being watched and that illegal stuff was around the house

and Molly was 'getting into it'...my other daughter upon questioning

said that yes, thats true and has been happening the whole time...

I had confronted my ex about my worry that Molly was even MORE

autistic since starting the diet 3 months earlier (more foggy and

spacey) several days before this and my ex had blown up at me 'NO I

WOULD NEVER ALLOW MOLLY TO GET INTO ANYTHING, etc etc and a few days

later i hear from my daugther and sisters daughter that, yes she IS

getting into stuff...sigh...i confronted my ex about it then and she

said that maybe some mistakes had happened but she guaranteed me on

her soul that Molly would be watched...so i let her continue to go

there and dropped it for awhile still thinking i couldnt trust her

on it...

Then, just last week i went into pick up Molly (i have her 4

days/nights a week or more) and in front of her at the computer was

an empty package of white crackers...i confronted the ex about it

and she said that that was my other daughters and she had eaten them

all but i wasnt buying it...i asked my daughter later and she said

that she had only eaten one cracker and had forgetten to pick them

up and Molly must have eaten all the rest...again, i know this is

happening alot, how much i dont know, but my i dont trust my ex at

this point on this and feel that i am blowing the one thing i know

will help my daughter the most (other than behavioral stuff) and not

standing up for my daughter...

I dont know what to do...

Just how big a deal is it that Molly gets into stuff here and there?

I feel like i am hitting my head on a brick wall as everyone else in

the family (me, my relatives, etc) are busting our butts to make

sure that Molly stays on the diet, but that its all being undercut

and made irrelevent...

Going for full custody is NOT something i want to pursue for 100s of

reasons, but i feel that i am letting Molly down every time i drop

her off at my ex wifes house...

Also she hasnt read any books, and only believes about 70% in the

whole concept of the need for the diet, so the not really locking

down the house etc is a sort of passive aggressive rebellion against

crazy dad that is forcing this not really needed diet on her...

I am fully into the Gut and Psychology Syndrome book and want to

make sure that Molly follows that basic thing and feel that i am all

alone in believing in this...i have NOTHING in my house thats not on

the diet other than diet cokes still...no crackers, etc...my ex DOES

have this stuff in her house and i know she is not diligent enough

to watch those things 100% of the time...

How big a deal is some cheating like this? As i said, as far as

spaceyness she is worse than before the diet started 6 months ago...

Feedback?

Thanks!

Randy the Rainman

[Guest guest]

Randy,

Unfortunately, I think the illegals she is likely getting from time to time WILL

impede her progress. I'm sorry, but it's the truth.

I feel for you... I have gone through divorce and all the conflict and power

struggles over the kids. It's no fun.

I'm very grateful that I'm solidly married to my daughter's daddy (my three

older sons by first marriage are all neuro-typical, and now all adults, thank

goodness).

I can't IMAGINE dealing with all the things we juggle and struggle with for

Katera if my husband and I were divorced and not " on the same page " with how to

raise her. And I really don't know how to convince your ex that this needs to

be 100% to work. Sadly, it seems like she would be (maybe secretly?) just as

happy to see the diet completely fail, just to prove you wrong.

Having her even 90% on SCD is probably much healthier for her, generally, but

you will not get the full benefits of gut healing if there are infractions every

so often. Who knows how many illegals she is actually getting.... you're only

hearing about some of them.

Wish I had some better advice.

Patti

Daughter Cheating At Ex-Wive's House (Advice!)

Hi everyone...

My 9 year old autistic daugther and i (and my 11 year old normal

daugther) have been on the diet for about 6 months now, or so i keep

thinking but am finding out otherwise...

Here is the issue...

My ex 'says' she is doing the diet 100% and gets really defensive if

i even suggest that Molly is being allowed to cheat some...

This summer my sisters daughter finally spilled the beans and told

me that when she was over at my ex's house with Molly that Molly was

not really being watched and that illegal stuff was around the house

and Molly was 'getting into it'...my other daughter upon questioning

said that yes, thats true and has been happening the whole time...

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[Guest guest]

It is a big deal that Molly is getting illegals regularly. You probably

already know this depp down because you've mentioned several times that her

behaviors have been worse than prescd. I don't know how to advise you to

get your wife on board with scd. Do you have a dan doctor? Perhaps a

doctor could convince her? My two cents is this. If it were me, I'd be

doing...and am doing...whatever I have to for my child to get better, and if

this meant persuing full custody, I'd do it. Fortunately, my family is on

board with us about scd. They do all have illegals in their homes, but my

friends and family are pretty dilligent now about watching iel when

he's there. Could you convince her to give a one month full blown

compliance just for her to see if Molly shows any improvement? I know it

would be hard for you to trust her, but maybe you can convince her that one

month is nothing...especially since she would only have to worry about it

three days out of the week. I'd really be praying about what to do with

this situation. I hope your ex-wife does decide to cooperate.

Meleah scd 05/06

iel 3.5yrs. asd, Ethan 5yrs., Mark 18mths., both nt

Daughter Cheating At Ex-Wive's House (Advice!)

> Hi everyone...

>

> My 9 year old autistic daugther and i (and my 11 year old normal

> daugther) have been on the diet for about 6 months now, or so i keep

> thinking but am finding out otherwise...

>

> Here is the issue...

>

> My ex 'says' she is doing the diet 100% and gets really defensive if

> i even suggest that Molly is being allowed to cheat some...

>

> This summer my sisters daughter finally spilled the beans and told

> me that when she was over at my ex's house with Molly that Molly was

> not really being watched and that illegal stuff was around the house

> and Molly was 'getting into it'...my other daughter upon questioning

> said that yes, thats true and has been happening the whole time...

>

> I had confronted my ex about my worry that Molly was even MORE

> autistic since starting the diet 3 months earlier (more foggy and

> spacey) several days before this and my ex had blown up at me 'NO I

> WOULD NEVER ALLOW MOLLY TO GET INTO ANYTHING, etc etc and a few days

> later i hear from my daugther and sisters daughter that, yes she IS

> getting into stuff...sigh...i confronted my ex about it then and she

> said that maybe some mistakes had happened but she guaranteed me on

> her soul that Molly would be watched...so i let her continue to go

> there and dropped it for awhile still thinking i couldnt trust her

> on it...

>

> Then, just last week i went into pick up Molly (i have her 4

> days/nights a week or more) and in front of her at the computer was

> an empty package of white crackers...i confronted the ex about it

> and she said that that was my other daughters and she had eaten them

> all but i wasnt buying it...i asked my daughter later and she said

> that she had only eaten one cracker and had forgetten to pick them

> up and Molly must have eaten all the rest...again, i know this is

> happening alot, how much i dont know, but my i dont trust my ex at

> this point on this and feel that i am blowing the one thing i know

> will help my daughter the most (other than behavioral stuff) and not

> standing up for my daughter...

>

> I dont know what to do...

>

> Just how big a deal is it that Molly gets into stuff here and there?

>

> I feel like i am hitting my head on a brick wall as everyone else in

> the family (me, my relatives, etc) are busting our butts to make

> sure that Molly stays on the diet, but that its all being undercut

> and made irrelevent...

>

> Going for full custody is NOT something i want to pursue for 100s of

> reasons, but i feel that i am letting Molly down every time i drop

> her off at my ex wifes house...

>

> Also she hasnt read any books, and only believes about 70% in the

> whole concept of the need for the diet, so the not really locking

> down the house etc is a sort of passive aggressive rebellion against

> crazy dad that is forcing this not really needed diet on her...

>

> I am fully into the Gut and Psychology Syndrome book and want to

> make sure that Molly follows that basic thing and feel that i am all

> alone in believing in this...i have NOTHING in my house thats not on

> the diet other than diet cokes still...no crackers, etc...my ex DOES

> have this stuff in her house and i know she is not diligent enough

> to watch those things 100% of the time...

>

> How big a deal is some cheating like this? As i said, as far as

> spaceyness she is worse than before the diet started 6 months ago...

>

> Feedback?

>

> Thanks!

> Randy the Rainman

>

>

>

>

> For information on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, please read the book

> _Breaking the Vicious Cycle_ by Elaine Gottschall and read the following

> websites:

> http://www.breakingtheviciouscycle.info

> and

> http://www.pecanbread.com

>

>