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Jodie's Update

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,

You wrote, " Jodie will have surgery on Friday to try to get rid of the fluid

behind her kidneys,.. I realized last night that I can't possibly.It takes

absolutely too much time and energy to do an 'okay' job of being a teacher, let

alone the 'best' I can be. I will not have the energy or time to do it.I'm

hardly enough for her as it is. I can't just leave her alone most of the time

and

work myself to death while I'm not being there for her. It's just too much. "

Thank you for writing and keeping us informed about Jodie's situation. She

has been on my mind. Acute, infectious pancreatitis is very, very serious.

Hopefully, the surgery to drain her abscesses will help. She is lucky to have

you

in her life. And, I am glad that you have some support, too.

You are right to take a realistic approach to what the next several months

will hold. Keep all your options open and keep building your support network.

Often when someone is in the hospital for such a prolonged period of time, it is

helpful to start initiating the calls for assistance while she is still in

the hospital. It might be helpful if she had someone who could take a night for

you on occasion. You have to keep your strength up, too.

Send me the address of the hospital so we can send her a card.

Karyn E. , RN

Executive Director, PAI

http://www.pancassociation.org

Pancreatitis Association International

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Hey ,

Thanks for your response. I know Jodie's medical situation is very

serious, but I am very hopeful that her youth will be her biggest

asset to help her pull through. Of course, there is no certainty

either way. But, I can only spend so much time being afraid that she

will not make it. Most of the time I am hopeful and positive. But,

the reality of not knowing is always there.

Actually, I am doing a good job of taking care of myself. By no

means do I spend every waking minute at the hospital. It's more like

1 to 4 hours a day. Even though I am not working now and my son is

either at daycare through the week or with his grandparents, I take a

lot of time 'not-at-the-hospital' to be okay with having to go every

day and help cheer Jodie up.

Most of the time I am very encouraging, but occasionally I let my

worry show through. A few days ago I just started crying on the way

to see her. After some time at the hospital, I started crying again

and couldn't stop for a while. I told her that I just want to know

that she is going to be okay and that I just want her home. I know

the first is impossible and the second will be a while, assuming it

will be. I told her that I thought I might be being 'emotional'

because I was going to get my period. Alas, I got it today. A-ha!

I was right. Usually I am very good at not letting Jodie see that I

do worry, because I am not normally a worrier. But, when I

can't 'mask' it, I know it's those darn 'womanly' hormones! :)

I have been as honest as I can be with Jodie as far as what is going

on with her and with the 'facts' about her medical situation. She

knows she may not make it and feels that she has no choice but to do

whatever her doctors tell her to. I have been reassuring her that

her doctors have been making good decisions for her. I think it

helps her to know that I have been researching her illness and that

I'm making sure everything is kosher.

I am not the only person who visits Jodie. Though, it does feel like

it sometimes. We have one friend who comes 2 out of every 3 days.

And her co-workers periodically stop by. I'd say probably 20

different people from her school have come to see her, most more than

once. But, of course, I'm her partner and I'm her 'rock,' so I am

more support for her than others. Just being there helps normalize

things, even if I don't say anything. We've been together for 11

years, so there is no such thing as awkward silence between us. But,

I know what you mean about starting to call people for support while

she's still in the hospital. I will start something like that

sometime, probably when I know she will be coming home...

The hospital address is:

Jodie Virago, M/S ICU Room 20, St. ph Medical Center, 7601 Osler

Dr., Towson, MD 21204

peace, melissa

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