(TMIC) Fwd: (RP) From Sally OT JOKE- FUNNY

[Guest guest]

Hi All, Hope you enjoy, Love ya Sally

More 'Non Campus Mentis'

The New Deal was sponcered by lin Eleanor Roosevelt.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The missionary realizes that the one thing he never taught the

natives was how to speak English, so he takes the

chief for a walk in the forest.

He points to a tree and says to the chief, " This is a tree. "

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, " Tree. "

The missionary is pleased with the response. They walk a little

farther and the missionary points to a rock and

says, " This is a rock. "

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, " Rock. "

The missionary is really getting enthusiastic about the results

when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks

over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy

sexual activity.

The missionary is really flustered and quickly responds, " Riding a

bike. "

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and

kills them.

The missionary goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has

spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized

and kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold

blood that way?

The chief replied, " My bike. "

--------------------------------------------------------------

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling

through Europe in their car.

They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto

the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

" Quick, quick! " shouts Sister Marilyn. " What shall we do? "

" Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomin-

ation, " says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about,

but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

" What shall I do now? " she shouts.

" Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy

Water at the Vatican, " says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer.

Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he

clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

" Now what? " shouts Sister Marilyn?

" Show him your cross, " says Sister Helen.

" Now you're talking, " says Sister Marilyn.

She opens the window and shouts, " Get the f--- off the car! "

------------------------------------------------------------

A Mexican family crosses over the border to the Land of Milk and Honey

where the streets are paved with gold. But the husband can find no work.

His family is hungry, so he takes a walk to a quiet place at the foot of

a

big hill, kneels at the base of a tree, and begins to pray: " Sweet

Jesus,

please show me a way to feed my family... "

Eyes closed, the Mexican does not see the black man coming over the top

of the hill, who is stumbling

wildly with a broken grocery sack.

When the Mexican man opens his eyes, a large wheel of cheddar cheese

rolls down the hill and lands at

his feet! " Oh, thank you Jesus, thank you! " he cries, grabs the cheese,

and runs straight home.

Upon returning home, he gives the cheese to his wife and instructs her

to

make nachos. " But wouldn't you rather have cheese enchiladas and

burritos and other things? " she

inquires.

" No, " the husband says, " Jesus sent this to me with a message... As I

ran

home, I ! kept hearing Him yell, 'THAT'S NACHO CHEESE! THAT'S NACHO

CHEESE!' "

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Marie Curie won the Noel Prize by inventing the radiator.