Fw: A Mom's Job Description

[Guest guest]

Hi ladies,

thought you might get a smile out of this.

T. (ohio)

A Mom's Job Description

MOM - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, none of us would

have done it!!!!

POSITION:

Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,

often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and

organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include

evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel

required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and

endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,

until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must

possess the physical stamina! of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60

mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are

not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical

challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck

zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production

of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social

gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be

indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and

product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery

operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout

the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,

without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that

those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually

exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon

payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will

help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever

is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually

enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement,

no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless

opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards

right.

Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for everything

they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated

(yet would any of us mothers trade it for the world?!?!?) :-)

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