Re: LAWN CHAIRS AND BEING FAT

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/8/2000 8:08:04 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

lindat@... writes:

<< " it wasn't pretty " >>

ROFLMAO!!!!!!! Oh man, I'm rolling over here!! Love the 'demonic lawn

chair' story!! man.. too funny.... <giggle>

Robin

Wife to Doug

Mommy to Tyler, 4 yrs., and Brennan, 1 yr.

Singer, wife, mom, secretary.. and not in that particular order.

[Guest guest]

Well I can relate to the lawnchair event....last year at the beach I

saw everyone sitting in those beach chairs that you can down in the back when

your laying out on the beach...well I just had to have one ,and you know what

happened, here I am in front of several hundreds of people getting all my

stuff together to lay out and I go to sit my big butt in the chair and so far

so good and I am thinking ok Kendra this is cool and looked to each side of

me and there is these drop dead grogeous women in their bikini's and by this

time I am praying please dont let me sink up...but however, leaning the back

of the chair was the obstacle...so I laid it back and yes with in 5 seconds I

was laying flat back on the beach with the chair almost sunk all the way up

in the sand...here I am laying in this position thinking how in the world am

I going to get out of this...man was I embarrased....felt sure someone was

going to call out that there was a beached whale on the premises....so yes I

have had an experience with the lounge chairs...but hey next year when I

go..you dag on right I am going to have one of every color to match my

bathing suits..lol

Kendra in WV

[Guest guest]

,

I love reading your posts, they are always so familiar and close to home.

Pat

Nevada pre op

[Guest guest]

, that story was SO funny! I have had a few

embarassing experiences like that, but nothing

quite as funny. I guess my funniest experience

invloved a diet I was on. My boss at work had

just gotten a new jeep and wanted me to join him

for lunch. We were just going to a fast food

place - so I brought my yougurt and aplum with

me. I stuck the plum in my trench coat pocket and

when I got into the car, I sat on the plum. I

squished it good and discovered it as I felt

something kinda wet under me. When I got out of

the car I could plainly see that it had leaked

onto his car seat. I had to fess up, go into the

fast food place and get napkins, and go back out

to clean up the seat. Needless to say, I didn't

work there too long!

- waiting in Chicago

LAWN CHAIRS AND BEING

FAT

>

> Lawn chairs were invented by a sadistic skinny

guy. I'm sure

> of it.

>

> In all the " You know you're fat when " resonses,

I couldn't

> help but notice that lawn chairs played a

prominent role in

> several of them.

>

> It reminded me of why I gave them up after once

sitting

> in a lawn chair at a get together of some of the

> local hoity-toities (you know it couldn't have

happened

> at a backyard barbecue with family, right?) I

surely

> lost my presence of mind, because without

thinking,

> I picked out a bright red one and sat down,

holding one of

> those super-flimsy paper plates with

pork-n-beans, potato

> salad and barbecued chicken.

>

> The back legs instantly sank into the soft

ground about

> five inches, my arms went flying, sending the

paper plate,

> beans and chicken sailing over about three

people, and

> leaving me cantilevered backwards, looking at

sky, legs

> thrashing as I tried to heave my way back up and

out

> of the lawn chair. One of the local judges (who

> I would see again the following week in court)

took

> my hands and pulled me up, with the lawn chair

stuck to

> my butt and the legs dangling grass clumps. I

mumbled my

> apologies to the people who got hit with the

beans and

> potato salad but I don't think they were amused.

>

> (Next week, on the record, in court, in front of

half the

> town, the judge couldn't resist asking me if I'd

had any more

> run-ins with demonic lawn chairs, either . . .)

>

> Flimsy chaise lounges made my list of " don't go

there " when

> I sat down on one that was made of woven plastic

strips --

> you know, the kind you get at the drugstore for

$9.99?

> Those plastic strips can S-T-R-E-T-C-H, I'll

give them that!

> It was mere moments before my butt was touching

the ground.

> Getting out of it was every bit as graceful as a

rutting

> water buffalo, and the impression -- and it was

a *great*

> impression -- of my butt remained as a permanent

monument.

>

>

> " it wasn't pretty "

>

>

>

>

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