Guest guest Posted September 14, 2000 Report Share Posted September 14, 2000 and Betty, You wicked, wicked people ,Oh, how I needed that laugh...I printed it to take to my dad! By the way...we Midwesterners think it's a compliment to be called a " wicked " boy or girl! The ornerier the better! Thanks, Tami Fw: Funny....must read..... > > > > For non-southerners when visiting down SOUTH. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> 1) Don't order steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a > > >> day, so let them cook something they know. > > >> > > >> 2) Don't laugh at southern people's names. (Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, > > >> Tammy Ann, Darla Beth, Inez, Bubba, Billy Joe Bob, Sissy, etc.) These > > >> people have been known to kick a man's ass for less. > > >> > > >> 3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. This can also lead to > > >> an ass kicking. Down south it's called Coke. It don't make a damn > > >> whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr.Pepper, 7-Up or whatever else, it's a Coke. > > >> > > >> 4) Don't show allegiance to any college football team that isn't in the > > >> Big 12, SEC or ACC or we'll kick your ass (Texas, Oklahoma, Carolina, > > >> Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, etc.). All the others are > > >> just a bunch of pansies that play teams like Wyoming. We'll kick their > > >> ass, too. > > >> > > >> 5) Don't refer to Southerners as a bunch of hillbillies. We know our > > >> heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g., Welty, > > >> , Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally lots > > >> nicer. We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred of Fed Ex, > > >> Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do > > >> sometimes have a small lapse in judgment (e.g., Helms). We don't care > > >> if you think we are all dumb because we will kick your ass. > > >> > > >> 6) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up, > > >> spend your money, and get the hell out of here or we'll kick your ass. > > >> > > >> 7) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly > > >> know that you're from Ohio. Eat your biscuits like God intended, and > > >> don't put sugar on your grits or we'll kick your ass. > > >> > > >> 8) Don't fake a southern accent. This will incite a riot and you will > > >> get your ass kicked. > > >> > > >> 9) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we don't > > >> give a damn. If you don't like it here, take your ass home before we > > >> kick it. > > >> > > >> 10) We don't play lacrosse, hockey, or any of those other sissy > > >> northern games, so don't come down here asking the score because we > > >> don't give a damn and we'll kick your ass. > > >> > > >> 11) We know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we > > >> want to and because we can. We don't care if you don't understand what > > >> we are saying. All other southerners understand what we are saying, and > > >> that's all that matters. Now, go home or we'll kick your ass. > > >> > > >> 12) Last, but not least, DO NOT come down here trying to tell us how to > > >> BBQ. This will get your ass shot off (after it is kicked). You're > > >> lucky we let you come down here at all. Question our BBQ, and go home > > >> in a pine box minus your ass. 'Nuff said. > > >> > > > > > > > > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm > > > > and for more on the MGB,Don't miss : > > http://www.fourlane.com/mgb > > > > To Unsubscribe Send and Email to: > MiniGastricBypass-unsubscribe (AT) egroups (DOT) com > > > > > > > > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm > > and for more on the MGB,Don't miss : > http://www.fourlane.com/mgb > > To Unsubscribe Send and Email to: MiniGastricBypass-unsubscribe (AT) egroups (DOT) com > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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