Re: Sorry For This Long Story But You Guys Are All I Have - Please Help!!

[Guest guest]

,

when you mentioned 'leave sharing' it made me wonder if you work for the federal

government. I'm not trying to be nosy, but I worked for the govt - department

of the army - prior to my medical retirement in March 2003. I know from

experience that it takes almost 4 months to push the paperwork through to OPM

for a disability retirement. I've actually done it twice. I first applied in

Dec 2000 after a year of panc attacks. However, I had a major turn around in my

health the end of Feb 2001. I had just decided I would stop the paperwork on

the disability retirement and probably never know if it would have been

approved. The very next day after I made my decision to stop the paperwork

(around mid March 2003) I got a letter in the mail saying it had been approved.

I did some quick soul searching and decided that turning it down was right for

me at that time. I don't regret turning it down. I was able to work until July

2002, when the panc attacks returned with a vengance - while I was on a business

trip no less! By Dec 2003 and about 15 hospital admissions later, my hubby and

I both agreed I was not going to be able to return to work. I applied again for

the disability retirement. It had to go through everything all over again, but

at least I now knew the process and the paperwork required! Ironically, it took

almost exactly the same amount of time as the first time. By the way, the main

reason it took so long was all the offices the paperwork has to go through prior

to getting to the approving office at OPM - the Office of Personnel Management.

They approved my disability retirement both times in less than 3 days after they

received it. In Mar 2003, I was notified my disability retirement was approved.

I retired on March 21, 2003. I was very fortunate as while I was off work, my

brother-in-law donated 208 hours (max you can donate in a year is 104 hours

without a waiver - he was able to donate 104 hours twice because it spanned

parts of two calendar years), my boss donated 80 hours (she had only been my

boss for two months before I got sick and even though my reputation at work and

around the world was very good, I was amazed that someone who really only knew

me as the person who got sick while TDY and was rarely at work afterwards would

give up 80 hours of hard earned vacation time), other people donated probably

another 40 or 50 hours and I don't know who donated what for the most part. As

you can tell, I was incredibly blessed!

I know your mother is just worried about your family's finances, but I know her

comment had to hurt so much! I was very fortunate because my mom was telling me

I just had to leave my job long before I made the decision to do so. When I

told my husband I thought it was what I was going to have to do, he did not bat

an eye. He simply said the money didn't matter and we'd make it somehow. I was

the primary bread winner, earning over 50% more than him. We had two daughters

in college, one of whom was engaged with a wedding set for May 29, 2004. My

retirement meant a 40% cut in my pay the first year and then a 60% cut after the

first year. So, as of March 2004, I was only getting 40% of my previous salary.

I was approved for SSD rather quickly. I applied in March 2003, as soon as my

disability retirement was effective. I was turned down in June 2003, ironically

I got the letter while I was in the hospital for two back to back admissions

amounting to about 11 days. That's when my diagnosis was changed from recurrent

acute panc to idiopathic chronic panc with recurring acute attacks. I appealed

the denial because there grounds were ridiculous - basically they said I could

work because I was highly educated. Yes, I have a master's degree but that

doesn't do you much good when you are puking your guts out and in horrendous

pain. Not to mention the effects the pain med and the steriods (for my liver

disease) have on your brain and cognitive abilities! They didn't even bother to

use info from my current docs in their decision! Anyway, I appealed and as soon

as the appeal got to the judge, he approved my SSD immediately without a

hearing. So, I started getting it in Oct 2003, which was the soonest I could

get because you have to be out of work (or earning less than 800 a month from

work) for a period of five months before you can begin receiving SSD. Note that

I said 'receiving SSD'. You can apply as soon as you are no longer working or

as soon as the money you are earning from work is less than $800 per month.

I am glad to have the SSD approved, but I don't get to keep the whole amount.

The way the Federal govt employees disability retirement works is that for the

first year you get

60% of your previous salary minus 100% of any SSD that you get

after the first year you get

40% of your previous salary minus 60% of any SSD that you get.

So, it works out that by the time they take taxes, health insurance, life

insurance, etc. out of my Federal govt retirement, there's not a lot left. But

it could be worse and I do get to keep my health insurance for life (as long as

I pay for it anyway)!

We did okay the first year and we tried our best to do okay even with the

additional cut after the first year. As you all know, even with my excellent

health insurance, our medical expenses have sky rocketed. It's not just the

copays, it's the transportation, the days my husband has to miss work after an

all nighter at the ER. Thankfully, my mom and stepdad help a lot with that so

his missed work days have been kept to a minimum. My doctors wanted me to go to

Mayo Clinic in Rochester, so I did that this summer. I insisted on going alone

because I didn't want the extra expense of another person going and Minnesota is

way too far from Alabama to drive in my opinion. Even though I was as frugal as

could be, the trip to Mayo was still over $1000. It was after that trip that my

husband and I had to have a serious finances talk. I handle all the finances

and I had told him that we were in bad shape, but I never told him how bad. I

kept thinking that somehow I'd be able to get things in order. However, when we

really looked at things, we realized how impossible that was. I am embarrassed

to say how much we owe on credit cards. When I got sick, we did not owe one

penny on credit cards. I'm thankful we had them because that is what we lived

on during the times I got little or no paycheck. That's what paid for many of

the trips to doctors out of town and also many of the copays for medical

expenses. However, we finally admitted to ourselves that we were too deep to

ever dig out. We've managed to not be late on a single payment because I've

been able to pay some bills with the credit cards, buy food with the credit

cards, etc. As always happens when you are living beyond your means, it must

come to an end at some point. We are at that end and unfortunately the only

solution for us is to file bankruptcy. That's a position I never thought we

would be in, but here we are! We have found a wonderful, caring attorney who

has done his best to help me realize that the federal bankruptcy laws are out

there for a reason and that every person in this country has the right to use

those laws to get a 'fresh financial start'. He keeps telling me I'm not a

terrible person and that I certainly have plenty on my plate and the stress of

the bills is probably only adding to my health issues. All that is true, but I

still feel incredibly guilty and embarrassed. My husband works hard every day

and he makes a good salary, but it's just not enough. He has excepted the

bankruptcy but he's sure not happy about it. I told him that I really figured

he would divorce me -he laughed and told me that I couldn't get rid of him that

easy and besides he couldn't afford to divorce me! He's really a great guy and

Lord knows, this is not what he signed up for when we got married 14 years ago!

By the way, keep in mind that in addition to chronic pancreatitis, I have

systemic lupus, antiphospholipid syndrome (an autoimmune clotting disorder),

type II diabetes, and autoimmune liver disease. Lupus is on SS's list of

potentially disabling diseases so having lupus may have made it easier for me to

get both my federal govt disability retirement approved as well as the SSD.

That really kind of sucks cause I can tell you that it is the chronic panc that

keeps me from being able to work, requires me to be on daily pain meds, sends me

to the ER and lands me many admissions to the hospital. Yes, the other issues

complicate everything and make things harder, but the cp is by far the one that

is hardest to deal with at this time. Oh, just to make life more fun, I found

out around January 2004 that I also have a genetic IgG deficiency that makes me

much more susceptible to infections! I just get more interesting by the day.

My GI/hepatologist told me that I am his most unusual and complicated patient!

Not what you want to hear from a doctor that specializes in pancreas and liver

problems! Oh well, I just laugh about it because crying only makes my contacts

cloudy and my nose run!

I'm not telling you all this to get sympathy. I'm just sharing it to let you

know that I understand where you are coming from. Please, please just try to

take this one day at a time. My pcp is a wonderful, caring doctor, but he had

no clue how devastating pancreatitis could be. I feel pretty sure that Dr.

Lehman will write a letter for work for you that will give you a much longer

period of time to recover, if recovering enough to return to work full-time is

even possible. Take care and know that you are in my prayers. If there's

anything I can do to help, please let me know. You can write me offline if you

would like at karenw@....

W

alabama