Fwd: Tues. : OT Joke

[Guest guest]

> > >

> > > Rodney Dangerfield: " My wife said she'd like to have sex in the

back

> seat

> > > of the car... and she wanted me to drive. "

> > >

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After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to

perform. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but

nothing works.Finally the doctor says to him: " This is all in your

mind " and refers him to a psychiatrist.After a few visits, the shrink

confesses: " I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured. "

Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.

The witch doctor says: " I can cure this. " He throws some powder on

a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. The witch

doctor says: " This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once

a year!

All you have to do is say '1-2-3' and it shall rise for as long as

you wish! " The guy then asks the witch doctor: " What happens when

it's over? " The witch doctor says: " All you or your partner has to

say

is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned; it will not work again

for a

year! " The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his

wife

with the good news. So, he is lying in bed with her and says: " 1-2-3 "

and suddenly he gets an erection.

His wife turns over and says: " What did you say '1-2-3' for? "

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~ A Poem For Computer Users Over 30 ~

A computer was something on TV

From a science fiction show of note

A window was something you hated to clean

And ram was the cousin of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend

And gig was a job for the nights

Now they all mean different things

And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something that you lost with age

A CD was a bank account

And if you had a 3-in. floppy

You hoped nobody ever found out.

Compress was something you did to the garbage

Not something you did to a file

And if you unzipped anything in public

You'd be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to the fire

Hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And a backup happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife

Paste you did with glue

A web was a spider's home

And a virus was the flu.

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper

And the memory in my head

I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash

But I've heard it plenty times said !

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The folks who know the truth aren't talking. The ones who don't have a

clue, you can't shut them up.

- Tom Waits