Re: i am so mad

[Guest guest]

i am so mad

> The other night while tucking Josh 9 1/2 wcf into bed he said " Mom can I

ask

> you something? " Of course I said yes. Well he says, is it true people

w/cf

> can't have babies?

It has been awhile since I have posted. After reading this I was angry.

This is what I would do. Whether that little girl read this in a book or

her mother told her. I would Go over and talk with her mother ,letting her

know what her daughter had said and how it affected your son. I highly

doubt the little girl just happen to find a book and really understood the

terminology, so I am sure her mother helped. I would hope this mother just

let it slip, but even so a mother to a fourth grader should have thought a

little harder before mentioning this to her daughter thinking she may take

this back. I am waiting for something to happen as well, but so far we

have been lucky. Even if it was one of his close buddies, I would not

hesitate talking with their parents about what their child had said. I am

sorry this happened and I am glad you have good communication for him to

tell you what was said.

Darci

Mother of 9 wcf, 5 wocf, and 2 wocf (Remarried)

[Guest guest]

Kids are going to hear stuff about their disease and some will be

true and some won't be true.

We told our son (7) already that he probably can't have kids because

he kept asking if his kids would have cf. We told him that there are

lots of ways to have a family, and cited friends of his who are

adopted and his aunt who is sterile (cancer) and married someone who

already had kids. We wanted him to hear the truth from us before he

heard anything at school. This puts him in the position of being

more knowledgable than his playmates. He knows we will not hide

anything from him. We have talked about life expectancy... we have

told him that kids used to die of cf when they were 5 because they

didn't have all the medicines that they have now. We talked about

average life expectancy and what averages mean and that nobody, no

matter if they have cf or not, nobody knows when they are going to

die, but everyone is going to die. So enjoy life while you have it!

It's a good thing we had this talk with him, because within a couple

of weeks he met a playmate whose aunt and uncle died of cf in the

60's (decades before the playmate was born, of course). Because we

had already talked about that, it did not surprise him or shock him,

but he could show sympathy to his friend's mom who had lost her

brother and sister.

I guess everyone handles things differently. My son has a very

scientific approach to life, so that may make this approach work

better for him than for other kids.

Good luck.

Steph

>

> i am so mad

>

>

> > The other night while tucking Josh 9 1/2 wcf into bed he said "

Mom can I

> ask

> > you something? " Of course I said yes. Well he says, is it true

people

> w/cf

> > can't have babies?

>

> It has been awhile since I have posted. After reading this I was

angry.

> This is what I would do. Whether that little girl read this in a

book or

> her mother told her. I would Go over and talk with her

mother ,letting her

> know what her daughter had said and how it affected your son. I

highly

> doubt the little girl just happen to find a book and really

understood the

> terminology, so I am sure her mother helped. I would hope this

mother just

> let it slip, but even so a mother to a fourth grader should have

thought a

> little harder before mentioning this to her daughter thinking she

may take

> this back. I am waiting for something to happen as well, but so

far we

> have been lucky. Even if it was one of his close buddies, I would

not

> hesitate talking with their parents about what their child had

said. I am

> sorry this happened and I am glad you have good communication for

him to

> tell you what was said.

>

> Darci

> Mother of 9 wcf, 5 wocf, and 2 wocf (Remarried)

[Guest guest]

Michele, you brought up so many memories for me! Don't you love those little

basturds! I can picture the child saying it - with that know-it-all type

smug look. Its not the child put the parents doing. I try to tell them

indirectly what is going on - good or bad. I tell them the awful things we

don't want

them to know from other perspectives. For example, I tell them when they

look up and/or read anything to check out the copyright date - that materials

change. I also stress that the CF Foundation doesn't get money for sick adults

but for sick/dying kids, hence they stress children are quite ill. I tried to

show them the marketing way.

The reality is that none of us know what the future holds but if we can help

children not have to worry about something that could change why let them?

Look at how far things have come.

I would be furious. My son came home from a friend's a few years ago - I

think he was 9 - the magic age - and said " Nicky said I am going to die " . I

said

" What do you mean? " He told me that his friend told him that all kids that do

Make a Wish are dying. Thank God he shared that with me. The whole day he

was freaked out. I think the best way to deal with these things is to try to

be upfront - to a point - so that we don't get clobbered!!!!!!

Rosemary in NY with 3 children (13, 11 and 7)

with CF. I have a dog named TOBI and have

coined the phrase " BREATHE DAMMIT "