Guest guest Posted December 22, 2003 Report Share Posted December 22, 2003 Ok - don't laugh at me. And dont anyone take this as anything other than my writings to myself, it is not intended to offend or make anyone mad. Just things that go on in my mind. I dont know that it will help anyone at all. Just the way I am thinking about things (at the moment). Patty - you are not the only one out there that has these days Keep your chin up. Vondie mom to 2 boys, both w/cf Everybody in the whole entire world is unhappy at one time or another. Each person has their own degree of unhappiness. Some have just a little tinge of unhappiness. Just enough to make them flinch. Not enough to change them in any way. Just enough to make them think that sometimes things arent right, then back to business as usual. Not enough to make them think that maybe there is something different they should do in their lives. Not enough to make them feel that they should treat anyone any different and not enough to make them see that they are not the center of the world. Some people have a medium load of unhappiness. Enough to feel like it would break your back to have to carry. Just enough unhappiness that it pushes them to the brink, but not over the edge. Maybe something went wrong in their lives, maybe they took some wrong turns. Nothing that can't be undone though. They have just enough unhappiness to make them see some of the important things. Just enough to make them a little more considerate, enough to make them look at others and what they are going through. Enough to know pain, but also know that there is always someone worse off than you. And some people have a full load to bear. Lots of unhappiness. Plenty enough to make you crawl on all fours in order to carry it. Unhappiness that pushes you over the edge, screaming out of control. Unhappiness, that makes you cry so loud that you can't hear anything else. Unhappiness that blinds you, piercing their eyes with painful tears that won't stop. Unhappiness and pain that makes them want to give up and some do. Enough pain that the mind would find it very hard to try to rationalize any of it. Unhappiness that they cant see their way through. Now, where do we fall into these catagories? I myself fall somewhere in between the latter two. I have enough pain in my life to share with a dozen people and still have some left. Some days I feel pushed over the edge, but I dig my claws in and find a way to climb back up again. Amazing that I can do it sometimes. Yes, I may climb back up screaming the whole way. I made wrong turns in my life, some could be undone. Others led to things that cannot be undone. And in all honesty, I don't know that I want to undo them. Do I have a full load? yes, I do. It puts me on all fours sometimes, face down in the dirt, but I find a way to get back on at least my knees again, of course standing back up with an eye full of blinding tears. But, I dont give up. Of course I have two reasons not to. They are the reasons that I look for the brighter sides. I see through them the important things, the love, the hugs & the kisses. (MY important things) Its because of them that my heart is open to others and their situations. And it is because of them that I see that others do have it worse than I do. I think that because of them, my heart is evened out. Because of them that I keep fighting all the overwhelming unhappiness. Because of them. So, I guess because of them and all that goes with it, it makes me a better person, in spite of the unhappiness. Am I jealous of the people with just a little unhappiness? You know it. Am I glad that I am not one of the first group? All in all, yes. After all, what would I be without my unhappiness? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2003 Report Share Posted December 22, 2003 Vondie, How eloquently written! I am going to send a copy of this to my daughter. You said it exactly right. Thanks, Gale > Ok - don't laugh at me. And dont anyone take this as anything other than my writings to myself, it is not intended to offend or make anyone mad. Just things that go on in my mind. I dont know that it will help anyone at all. Just the way I am thinking about things (at the moment). > > Patty - you are not the only one out there that has these days Keep your chin up. > > Vondie > mom to 2 boys, both w/cf > > > > > Everybody in the whole entire world is unhappy at one time or another. Each person has their own degree of unhappiness. > > Some have just a little tinge of unhappiness. Just enough to make them flinch. Not enough to change them in any way. Just enough to make them think that sometimes things arent right, then back to business as usual. Not enough to make them think that maybe there is something different they should do in their lives. Not enough to make them feel that they should treat anyone any different and not enough to make them see that they are not the center of the world. > > Some people have a medium load of unhappiness. Enough to feel like it would break your back to have to carry. Just enough unhappiness that it pushes them to the brink, but not over the edge. Maybe something went wrong in their lives, maybe they took some wrong turns. Nothing that can't be undone though. They have just enough unhappiness to make them see some of the important things. Just enough to make them a little more considerate, enough to make them look at others and what they are going through. Enough to know pain, but also know that there is always someone worse off than you. > > And some people have a full load to bear. Lots of unhappiness. Plenty enough to make you crawl on all fours in order to carry it. Unhappiness that pushes you over the edge, screaming out of control. Unhappiness, that makes you cry so loud that you can't hear anything else. Unhappiness that blinds you, piercing their eyes with painful tears that won't stop. Unhappiness and pain that makes them want to give up and some do. Enough pain that the mind would find it very hard to try to rationalize any of it. Unhappiness that they cant see their way through. > > Now, where do we fall into these catagories? I myself fall somewhere in between the latter two. I have enough pain in my life to share with a dozen people and still have some left. Some days I feel pushed over the edge, but I dig my claws in and find a way to climb back up again. Amazing that I can do it sometimes. Yes, I may climb back up screaming the whole way. I made wrong turns in my life, some could be undone. Others led to things that cannot be undone. And in all honesty, I don't know that I want to undo them. Do I have a full load? yes, I do. It puts me on all fours sometimes, face down in the dirt, but I find a way to get back on at least my knees again, of course standing back up with an eye full of blinding tears. But, I dont give up. Of course I have two reasons not to. They are the reasons that I look for the brighter sides. I see through them the important things, the love, the hugs & the kisses. (MY important things) Its because of them that my heart is open to others and their situations. And it is because of them that I see that others do have it worse than I do. I think that because of them, my heart is evened out. Because of them that I keep fighting all the overwhelming unhappiness. Because of them. So, I guess because of them and all that goes with it, it makes me a better person, in spite of the unhappiness. Am I jealous of the people with just a little unhappiness? You know it. Am I glad that I am not one of the first group? All in all, yes. After all, what would I be without my unhappiness? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2003 Report Share Posted December 22, 2003 Vondie, How incredibly perfectly stated!If you arent a writer you should consider it!Right on the money, and very inspiring.Its funny cuz after i posted i wished i could take it back, i fall exactly in the medium load category and because of this i cringed after i saw my post being sent.I dont want to bring anyone down, i thought to myself how lucky i really am, my son and i have been fortunate as far as his health is concerned(considering), and how could i sit and whine and cry.Well i'll tell you why:i love my son to pieces; wished there was something i could do to end the suffering he hasn't yet begun.I love my son enough to pull myself back together and try to be the backbone for him he'll continue to need me to be.Sometimes those cf blues are hard to shake, and for when those moments arise when i doubt myself and my world around me, i turn to people as understanding as you all to listen, patiently, sometimes offering advice, and sometimes just being a good support network, and i'm able to compose myself and be brave again.(notice i politely left the part out about pulliing my hair out,lol). This is why i thank you all again for just being YOU, HERE. Love and Light, with many a thanks! Patty,mom to ty8wcf and 2wocf, recovering fr: CF Blues in a hurry! (Glad Monday is gone!) > Ok - don't laugh at me. And dont anyone take this as anything other than my writings to myself, it is not intended to offend or make anyone mad. Just things that go on in my mind. I dont know that it will help anyone at all. Just the way I am thinking about things (at the moment). > > Patty - you are not the only one out there that has these days Keep your chin up. > > Vondie > mom to 2 boys, both w/cf > > > > > Everybody in the whole entire world is unhappy at one time or another. Each person has their own degree of unhappiness. > > Some have just a little tinge of unhappiness. Just enough to make them flinch. Not enough to change them in any way. Just enough to make them think that sometimes things arent right, then back to business as usual. Not enough to make them think that maybe there is something different they should do in their lives. Not enough to make them feel that they should treat anyone any different and not enough to make them see that they are not the center of the world. > > Some people have a medium load of unhappiness. Enough to feel like it would break your back to have to carry. Just enough unhappiness that it pushes them to the brink, but not over the edge. Maybe something went wrong in their lives, maybe they took some wrong turns. Nothing that can't be undone though. They have just enough unhappiness to make them see some of the important things. Just enough to make them a little more considerate, enough to make them look at others and what they are going through. Enough to know pain, but also know that there is always someone worse off than you. > > And some people have a full load to bear. Lots of unhappiness. Plenty enough to make you crawl on all fours in order to carry it. Unhappiness that pushes you over the edge, screaming out of control. Unhappiness, that makes you cry so loud that you can't hear anything else. Unhappiness that blinds you, piercing their eyes with painful tears that won't stop. Unhappiness and pain that makes them want to give up and some do. Enough pain that the mind would find it very hard to try to rationalize any of it. Unhappiness that they cant see their way through. > > Now, where do we fall into these catagories? I myself fall somewhere in between the latter two. I have enough pain in my life to share with a dozen people and still have some left. Some days I feel pushed over the edge, but I dig my claws in and find a way to climb back up again. Amazing that I can do it sometimes. Yes, I may climb back up screaming the whole way. I made wrong turns in my life, some could be undone. Others led to things that cannot be undone. And in all honesty, I don't know that I want to undo them. Do I have a full load? yes, I do. It puts me on all fours sometimes, face down in the dirt, but I find a way to get back on at least my knees again, of course standing back up with an eye full of blinding tears. But, I dont give up. Of course I have two reasons not to. They are the reasons that I look for the brighter sides. I see through them the important things, the love, the hugs & the kisses. (MY important things) Its because of them that my heart is open to others and their situations. And it is because of them that I see that others do have it worse than I do. I think that because of them, my heart is evened out. Because of them that I keep fighting all the overwhelming unhappiness. Because of them. So, I guess because of them and all that goes with it, it makes me a better person, in spite of the unhappiness. Am I jealous of the people with just a little unhappiness? You know it. Am I glad that I am not one of the first group? All in all, yes. After all, what would I be without my unhappiness? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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