Re: This may be out of the ordinary,,,

[Guest guest]

Doc,

you might want to see if you can see a counselor or psychologist as you

are her caregiver and her disease affects you in many ways as well, one

being the inability to help deal with her pain. And we do have some

caregivers here online who can probably give you some good advice on how

to deal with her chronic illness too. I know that in many ways, chronic

illness is harder on the caregivers, as you all wish to help us, but

aren't always able to do so and that must be terribly hard on you guys.

Kimber

--

Kimber

Vallejo, CA

hominid2@...

Note: All advice given is personal opinion, not equal to that of a licensed

physician or health care professional.

[Guest guest]

I know husband has a hard time too. He started seeing a counselor to

help deal with his emotions. One of the most important things his

counselor told him to do was to get out and something for himself.

Some weeks, he just goes to & Nobles and enjoys a cup of joe

and a magazine, but it helps him get his mind off my illness. Tammy M.

[Guest guest]

Dear Fred,

You could make an appointment for some counseling to help you adjust to

your wife's condition. It certainly wouldn't be a bad idea, Fred, as you must

be under a tremendous strain yourself and right now probably don't have any

outside source to discuss it with. Our caregivers end up having to put up with

so much trauma. I know my husband feels much the same as you do, and

the stress he experiences is much more evident right after a hospitalization.

Then I find him very depressed, melancholy and more " wiped out " by the

experience than I am.

Having some counseling to help you through this may be very helpful. I know

you probably don't like to even discuss this with your wife, for fear of

upsetting

her, so it ends up being a difficult road for you both because there's so little

that either one of you can do to change it and neither one wants to upset the

other. The earlier suggestion of taking some time out for yourself sounded

like a very therapeutic idea and one that should help bring some sense of

calm to your life.

You might talk to your wife's doctor, or your own doctor, for a

recommendation of who to go to. Our caregiver's are such special people in

our lives, we would be most desolate without them, yet unfortunately people

often forget what a tremendous burden our illness places on them. I wish you

much success in this endeavor, and I hope you can find someone who can

help you find some peace.

With love, hope and prayers,

Heidi

Heidi H. Griffeth

South Carolina

SC & SE Regional Rep.

PAI

Note: All information or advice is personal opinion only, and should not be

substituted for professional medical consultation.

[Guest guest]

hey doc

I know what you are talking about. My wife of 2 years now been with me for 8

feels the same exact way as you do. In the begining of all of this about 7

years ago when she was my GF I was ok i Ate alot and we did everything and then

I went for the Gall bladder Surgery and that made her Nervous and then 6

months after it all started. I mean i was calling the Ambulance every other

week. I

mean i would go to the hospital and they would work me up and I would be

there for 2 or 3 weeks and then go home and then end right back in the Hospital.

It was very very very tiring on her and the emotions ran wild. She was mad but

i thought it was at me but it wasnt it is at the Disease and why me. everytime

I have to go to the ER she is there and she cries and I dont think about the

pain that she is in im focused on my pain. In the year 2000 i was in the

hospital 7 months out of the year. Work wasnt good , Money wasnt good and we

wernt

any good. I am now trying to get it under control but its hard the past few

weeks has been hard for me I have lost 30 lbs and cant eat and am in pain and

nausea and everything is misserable and I feel like another episode is coming

but its hard and when i tell her she is like here we go again and im so tirred

of this. When she says this it agrivates me because i didnt ask for CP or want

it. This disease stops alot of things and it plain and simply sucks. I mean

we cant go out to eat because I dont eat and she isnt going to sit there and

eat infront of me but i tell her to but she is so compassionate. Well latley she

has been talking to this women in church about it and trying to get her

feelings out.I dont know for other people but when I have an attack i jsut want

the

pain to go away away and she doesnt see it that way. We have had fights over

this because of the pain and because of the meds the Dilaudid that im taking

she thinks that im dependant on it and the patch and I have to say that I am if

I dont have it i am in pain and i am misserable but she doesnt see it that

way. She worries what its doing to my liver and i mean i have been on meds for 7

ye ars now every day i wonder myself.I think you need to find someone to talk

to. To get it out. You need to speak about it and let her know in a way that

we as CP know. Its a horrible disease adn I hate it. I wish that somhting else

was wrong and not my belly its the worst.. It stops you from everything i

mean work entertainment goingout and even the intamacy has because of the pain.

I

think maybe you should start or look for a sight where you can talk with

other people like you that are in teh same boat as you. There are alot of people

out there. If you want to talk feel free and email me..

Giovanni