Re:Yuck

[Guest guest]

I am writing this e-mail more for me, than anyone else. I am so tired

and I feel so awful. I feel like in the past I would bounce back with a

somewhat positive attitude, but I am so tired now, and I just don't want to

fight

anymore. I just want to lay down fall asleep and wake up and this whole

nightmare will be over. I was trying to have my colostomy reversed and the

surgeons

are too afraid to reverse it. I have been on a PCA pain pump for over a year and

a half. How am I to get off of this stupid thing when the pain is still

around and I feel like throwing up. One Dr. wants to take out my colon and

replace

it with my small intestine. Right now that seems like an OK thing to do since

I have a tendency to have bowl blockages. These blockages come from outer

space as far as I am concern. One minute I feel OK and the next time I am in the

hospital being told that I am blocked and let's all pray that the blockage

unblocks. In the mean time my diseased wonderful pancreas is getting worse.

Right

now I feel as though I was chasing dreams to get well, thus the whipple. I

have to keep reminding myself that the pathology report after the whipple showed

an organ that was calcified, and as hard as a rock.

I am tired so I am going to sign off. I am off to pumping my fluids

and phenergan. For all those that listened to me thank you. I hope you all feel

much better than I do.............Paget

I hope this makes sense, if it doesn't just know that I was once a highly

educated person.

[Guest guest]

Paget,

I've been around this site for a long time now, so I can testify to the fact

that

you are still a highly educated person.......you just feel like your life's been

in

the washer on the spin cycle for the last year and a half or more and you can't

reach the button to turn it off.....or something equally as dreadful. And it

has

been dreadful, yet I hope you can see some encouragement behind that post

of 's. Maybe a chance to climb out of the spin mode and get

yourself all straightened out?

I hope that your dreams are reached in the soon future, and that you do make

the right choices so that you can get some relief. I don't know anything about

this procedure that you spoke of, that wrote back to you about, but

to me it sounded like it might be a good thing for you.

Keep your chin up and maybe one day soon you'll be on the road to less pain.

I'm praying for you.

With love, hope and prayers,

Heidi

Heidi H. Griffeth

South Carolina

SC & SE Regional Rep.

PAI

Note: All comments or advice are personal opinion only, and should not be

substituted for professional medical consultation.