Fw: The answers to life

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Really cute, enjoy! Love, Judy FW: The answers to life>>>> Happy Monday too you all!> >> > --------------------------------------------------------------> >> >> >> > >GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:> > >> > >1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.> > >> > >2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.> > >> > >3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the> > >> > >second person.> > >> > >4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.> > >> > >5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.> > >> > >6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.> > >> > >7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.> > >> > >8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.> > >> > >9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.> > >> > >10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.> > >> > >GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:> > >> > >1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.> > >> > >2) Wrinkles don't hurt.> > >> > >3) Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.> > >> > >4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.> > >> > >5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.> > >> > >6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not thetoy.> > >> > >GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD> > >> > >1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.> > >> > >2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.> > >> > >3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you'redown> > >> > >there.> > >> > >4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking> chair> > >> > >that you once got from a roller coaster.> > >> > >5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothersto> > >> > >ask you the questions.> > >> > >6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.> > >> > >7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.> > >> > >THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:> > >> > >1) You believe in Santa Claus.> > >> > >2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.> > >> > >3) You are Santa Claus.> > >> > >4) You look like Santa Claus.> > >> > >SUCCESS:> > >> > >At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.> > >> > >At age 12 success is . . . having friends.> > >> > >At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.> > >> > >At age 20 success is . . . having sex.> > >> > >At age 35 success is . . . having money.> > >> > >At age 50 success is . . . having money.> > >> > >At age 60 success is . . . having sex.> > >> > >At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.> > >> > >At age 75 success is . . . having friends.> > >> > >At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.> > >> > >Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh> > >> > >> >> >> >> >> > _________________________________________________________________ Getyour> FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.> >> >> >