Guest guest Posted July 25, 2002 Report Share Posted July 25, 2002 Back in the 70's alot of things were different! Alot of us didn't have RP. Enjoy > " If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I > have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. " > - Thurber ---------------------------------------------------------- These are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now. These are from the old Hollywood Squares show in the 70's. Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high? A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A: Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes... Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married? A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say " I love you " ? A: Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking? A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question ... and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget! Q: , why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A: Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year? A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, . I'm too busy growing strawberries! Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score? A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other? A: Lynde: Tape measures. Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A: Marty : Only after lights out Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do? A: Lynde: Make him bark. Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body -- what is it? A: Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected! Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds? A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee. Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A: Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him. Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A: Charley Weaver: His feet. Q: Do female frogs croak? A: Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 12 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A COP 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says " Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking? " You probably shouldn't respond with, " Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts? " ------------------------------------------------------------ > " Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard. " - Dave Barry > *********************************** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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