Guest guest Posted September 14, 2000 Report Share Posted September 14, 2000 Good morning folks, Most of my friends think I am nuts about complaining about my husband to be. He is a good person. I am fortunate to have him. But........ I am about to explode with frustration. He has become my siamese twin. He refuses to go anywhere without me and I can't go anywhere without him at my side. For me to enjoy time with my girlfriends I have to take an afternoon off from work for " girls day out " . I have talked until I am blue in the face about the need for space of my own. I changed jobs in May. I accepted the CFO position with a large construction company. I have worked toward this for the last ten years. To obtain this position and for them to seek me out for that position was a real boost to my self-esteem. When you are FAT every accomplishment boosts self-esteem. My salary went up proportionately as well. Instead of saying congratulations you have finally done it. My fiance's said to me, " What about me? Now that you are where you want to be I feel like you are leaving me behind. " I have talked with him about how important it is to me to have the MGB. Again I get the same response. He dosn't adapt to change well, but I never realized in the 4 years that we have been together that he was so insecure. He met me while I was on Fen-Phen. I was the smallest I had been since birth (about 170 lbs). I am now at my greatest weight in my life 312 lbs. Of course there are other complexities in our relationship. Those are slowly being resolved too. He has no conception how the weight affects me daily. I have never used my weight as an excuse not to seek and gain accomplishments in my life. But the restrictions weight is putting on my life now are unacceptable. He is a " biker " . He has the long hair, the beard, the tatoos and Harley-son. He says he loves me the way I am and my appearance is for him to judge. Fat women don't look good in leather and on a motorcycle no matter who loves them. We are suppose to marry November 10th. Is this part of the premarital jitters? Am I having second thoughts about marrying this man? You betcha!! Any advise is welcome. Thanks for reading. A-J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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