driving while female

[Guest guest]

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a

female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck

causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder. This

evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung

his head out his window and flipped the woman off.

" Man, that guy is stupid " I thought to myself. I

ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner

whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and

here's why:

I drive 38 miles each way every day to work, that's

76 miles. Of these, 16 miles each way is

bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on

an 8-lane highway so if you just look at the 7 lanes I

am not in, that means I pass something like a new car

every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet

for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every

mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper to

bumper. I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I

pass every day. Statistically half of these are

driven by females, that's 18,000.

In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the

worst day of their period. That's 642. According to

Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as

dissatisfying or unrewarding, that's 449. According to

the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females

have seriously considered suicide or homicide, that's

98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem,

that's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all

females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at

least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks

men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered

suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her

period, and is armed.

No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM

of flipping her off.

__________________________________________________