Fw: Kids Say the Darndest Things(joke)

[Guest guest]

After putting her children to bed, a mother changedinto old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded towash her hair. As she heard the children getting moreand more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Atlast she threw a towel around her head and stormedinto their room, putting them back to bed with sternwarnings. As she left the room, she heard her three- year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A mother was telling her little girl what her ownchildhood was like: "We used to skate outside on apond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from atree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We pickedwild raspberries in the woods." The little girl waswide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I surewish I'd gotten to know you sooner!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, Grand-ma, do you know how you and God are alike?" Imentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A little girl was diligently pounding away on herfather's word processor. She told him she was writinga story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know,"she replied. "I can't read." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned hercolors yet, so I decided to test her. I would pointout something and ask what color it was. She wouldtell me, and always she was correct. But it was funfor me, so I continued. At last she headed for thedoor, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should tryto figure out some of these yourself!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell hisfather about the movie we had watched on television,"20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with thesubmarine and the giant octopus had kept himwide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husbandinterrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?"With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it wasthe 20,000 leaks!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacationcabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside tokeep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a fewfireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. Themosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasinglyreplied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear,Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A second grader came home from school and said to hermother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to makebabies today." The mother, more than a littlesurprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" It'ssimple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."