Fwd:(RP) From Sally Monday 08/19/02

[Guest guest]

Mommy mommy why do I keep running around in circles? "

" Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor. " .

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Subject: wishes

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin

Laden found a bottle in a cave and picked it up.

Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle

and with a smile said " Master, may I grant you one wish? "

" You ignorant unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you

know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving

me anything " barked Bin Laden.

The shocked genie said " Please, I must grant you a

wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever. "

Osama thought a moment. Then grumbled about the

impertinence of the woman, and said " Very well, I

want to awaken with three white women in my bed in the

morning, so just do it and be off with you! "

The annoyed genie said, " So be it ! " and disappeared.

The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with

Bobbitt, Tonya Harding and Hillary Clinton.

His penis was gone, his knee was broken, and he had

no health insurance.

God is good.

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>

>A Deserted Island Story

>On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the

>following people are stranded:

>

> - Two Italian men and one Italian woman

> - Two French men and one French woman

> - Two German men and one German woman

> - Two Greek men and one Greek woman

> - Two English men and one English woman

> - Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman

> - Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman

> - Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman

> - Two Irish men and one Irish woman

> - Two American men and one American woman

>

>One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the

>middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

>

>* One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

>

>* The two French men and the French woman are living happily

>together in a menage a trois.

>

>* The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating

>visits with the German woman.

>

>* The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek

>woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

>

>* The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them

>to the English woman.

>

>* The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman

>and started swimming to another island.

>

>* The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

>

>* The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/ liquor

>store/restaurant/laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant

>in order to supply employees for their store.

>

>* The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and

>set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture

>because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut

>whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the English aren't

>having any fun.

>

>* The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the

>American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her

>body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin,

how

>she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the

equal

>division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look

fat,

>how her last boy friend respected her opinion and treated her nicer

than

>they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of

>all her problems, and why didn't they bring a goddamn cell phone so

>they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this godforsaken

>deserted island in the middle of nowhere so she can get her nails

>done and go shopping.

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A guy knows he is in love when he loses interest in his car.