Fw: Marriage

[Guest guest]

Touche! Love, Judy FW: Marriage MARRIAGE (PART I) A typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady and after thewedding laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if Iwantand at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. Iexpect agreat dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll gohunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my oldbuddiesand don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Anycomments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand thatthere'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night . . . whether you'rehereor not." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MARRIAGE (PART II) A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40thweddinganniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you aheadstonethat reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'" "Yeah?!" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone thatreads, 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'" ~~~~~~~~~~~~ MARRIAGE (PART III) A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfasttable. The husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bedeither," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he wasnasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to thephoneafter many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so longtoanswer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this late, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MARRIAGE (PART IV)! A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is soproud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" inspiteof her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to gohomeand wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shoutsatthe top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts rightback,"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"