Stupid Post-Op Tricks

[Guest guest]

STUPID POST-OP TRICKS

The title is taken from " stupid pet tricks . . . "

Well, I found out my local grocery makes a fresh breakfast in

their

fresh food section today. I rarely go there, and never before in the

morning, since I usually go to Walmart at night.

So when I went to the store this morning, I was pleasantly

surprised to see all this fantastic, really big, thick, crisp-cooked

bacon, scrambled eggs, biscuits, sausages, and steaks, all cooking

away, looking *really* good. I know I can't eat much, and I'm pretty

conditioned to how much I can eat now (she says...).

So I tell the lady " I'd like an order of that bacon, and some

scrambled eggs, please. " She starts dishing it up. So I say, " How

many pieces come in an order of bacon, anyway? "

" Three pieces for $1.19, " she replies.

3 pieces? That's not enough for a bird, my old brain interjects,

snuffing out the new post-op brain's protests. I barely heard the

" You'll be sorry " it tried to mutter.

" Give me two orders of the bacon, " says I.

(You other post-ops can just STOP LAUGHING right now!! LOL!)

Shortly, I'm out the door with a nice order of scrambled eggs and

six big pieces of bacon in a styrofoam container, about 1 minute from

my house. I break off half a piece of bacon to eat on the way home.

Yummmm. It is every bit as good as it looked. I chew it the rest of

the way home.

As I'm pouring some water to drink, I eat a forkful of the

scrambled eggs. I get everything together and sit down to eat, but,

no big surprise here -- I'm FULL.

So there it all sits, as I eat a bite or so every half hour. In

the past two hours, I have finished off 2.5 pieces of the bacon and 4

forkfuls of scrambled eggs. It's all cold, but I've gotten used to

that, eating cold food and leftovers. But now I'm really sick of it

and don't want any more. So I've got 3.5 pieces of bacon and

probably

two scrambled eggs sitting in there and no husband or dog. The cat

isn't crazy about eggs or bacon.

I am a slow study. No two ways about it.

Kind regards,