While talking about fish ...

[Guest guest]

Hi,

as we are talking about fish oil I thought this one would fit right

in. is one of my favorite online comedians :-))

Peace

Torsten

MERRY FISHMAS

(Another letter stuck on the fridge door from to his wife)

Dear ,

Welcome back from your two-week business trip. I bet you got a great

big surprise when you arrived home and found that lovely pink plastic

Christmas tree in the lounge.

Yes, I know it is up early. But I am just following the lead of

department stores who all seem to put up their decorations in

November.

And I know you simply hate artificial Christmas trees but,

unfortunately, the pine ones you so like are not on sale yet, and I

really, really wanted to surprise you.

The good news is the plastic tree is unlikely to die from lack of

water this far out from Christmas.

The bad news is, in your absence, all your pot plants already have.

The even worse news is that the pot plants are not only dead, but

also smell of dead fish.

Please do not be angry with me about this though, , because

I think I can explain.

Yes, I know you asked me before you left to keep the water up to your

pot plants but we have had a bout of unseasonably hot weather here

and I suspect I might have a touch of sunstroke.

No wonder all the pot plants died. I have been very dehydrated

myself. You would not believe the amount of beer I have been throwing

back while decorating the new Christmas tree.

When I finally realised, er, um, this morning, that the pot plants

looked worse for wear, I remembered you telling me that the liquid

fertiliser was in the kitchen cupboard.

I was hoping that would make them well again.

But, clearly, it was too late. Bummer.

And I realise in hindsight that I really should have used the liquid

fertiliser more sparingly. I should have at least diluted it in water

first instead of squirting it madly around the plants.

How was I to know that apart from not reviving them, it would make

them smell like dead fish?

When I looked at the label later, I could see why though.

The stuff is a fish extract. It is MADE from dead fish.

I hope the smell will not detract from the lovely Christmas tree

surprise, though, .

I bet you have never seen a Christmas tree that colour before, eh?

Green yes, artificial gold yes, artificial silver yes, ones flecked

with fake snow yes. But pink? I am very surprised it has not caught

on.

I am sure you will be very proud of me when you find out how little

it cost. The salesman at the two-dollar store said the tree had been

marked down considerably because no one had wanted to buy it for six

years now.

Yes, I am fully aware, , that you hate artificial trees.

I know you prefer us to handpick a freshly hewn pine tree just a few

days before Christmas so we get the full smell of the nice glossy

green pine needles in the house.

But I have figured out a compromise.

And it will save us money too!

Since we have no further use for it, I have splattered the rest of

the bottle of liquid fertiliser around the base of the pink Christmas

tree so we get that aroma instead.

Love,

PS: I have gone to the bottle shop to buy some more beer.

©November 17, 2003, . All Rights Reserved

Regards,

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