True MD stories

[Guest guest]

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. Dr. Mark Mac, San , TX* * * * * * * * At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient. Dr. Byrnes, Seattle, WA* * * * * * * * * One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." Dr. Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada* * * * * * * * * I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began,"Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left."Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam. Dr. Theodropolous, Worcester, MA* * * * * * * * * During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. Dr. St. Clair, Norfolk, VA* * * * * * * * * While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive. Dr. Swanson, Corvallis, OR* * * * * * * * * I was caring for a woman from Kentucky, and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. Dr. Mark Mac, San , TX* * * * * * * * At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient. Dr. Byrnes, Seattle, WA* * * * * * * * * One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." Dr. Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada* * * * * * * * * I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began,"Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left."Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam. Dr. Theodropolous, Worcester, MA* * * * * * * * * During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. Dr. St. Clair, Norfolk, VA* * * * * * * * * While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive. Dr. Swanson, Corvallis, OR* * * * * * * * * I was caring for a woman from Kentucky, and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."