Going to The ER ( I cussed sorry)

[Guest guest]

LOL...

I called the docs this morning and was told to go to the ER b/c the docs

aren't seeing patients until after the holiday....excuse me ....isn't this a

pulmo

office where people can drop dead at the drop of a hat if not treated

quickly.I mean YAH, Im the only cystic but he has COPDers who are on the vent

all the

tome. What happens to them.

Then the nurse calls back and says I need to hurry up and go to the ER b/c it

really is an inconvience for the doc to be called after dinner for orders.

Good God all Mighty, my treatment never changes.Why can't they direct admit

me...

I just can't believe they said it is an inconvience to have the doc notified

of me after dinner. I mean lordie, Ive been puking since Thursday,Diarrhea

since Wed, PRojectile vomiting mucus across the room for 3 days ( I actually hit

the other side of the room last night...what a true talent I have..LOL )

Then to top it off they call in a med that isn't anywhere to be found ! ! ! !

I'd say Im the one who's been screwed over not them.

Then I call Phycians Mutual to see if my claim got there.I was informed we've

been dropped b/c I was in the hospital and couldn't make the payment and Brad

didn't believe me when I said it needed to get there ASAP. He waits a week to

send it off.So now we're out almost $2,000 we were gonna use for my Mayo

Trip.

I cried and cried. I feel like shit and then get kicked in the mouth. I

called up anyone who would listen....and then cried to them.

The true is it just hit me... I am completely reliant on other people.I mean

Brads somewhat independant but when he's sick we need help. I'm no better than

a 2 year old. I needed someone to get my meds, pay the bills, fix me food

when Im too sick to go downstairs (or I will just live in the bed) For several

days I brought up a box of oranges and a 2 Liter of soda and thats all I ate and

drank (it all came up anyway). It is truely depressing to know that my 21 yo

sister is 100% more adult than I am. There is no way I could ever surviive

alone .That is a really scary thing to realize

Then last night as Im taking a shower and was using my shower care I realized

,good lord, what has happened to me. I remember speaking to friends who were

as sick as I am and they passed away. That thought is truely sickening.

I can remember talking to Rita and she was yelling at me to turn my 02 up b/c

I was SAT'ing crappy.We talked for hours at night b/c what else is there to

do in the hospital( although I found that the Krispy Cream Guy comes at

night...LOL). She passed away a month later.I mean all it takes is one bad

infection

and WHAM your screwed.

Sorry this letter is this depressing.I am in an majorly irritable crummy mood

and my lungs are killing me pain wise ( I guess literallly too).

Anyways...I will be going to the ER b/c my docs are screw heads and are busy

with holiday shopping....Please pray I don't get stuck in an ER bed for

days...they have waiting lists here b/c of the flu.Thats another thing.I have to

sit in the dang ER surrounded by sick flu patients and people who have God knows

what.

I went as far as putting all the Christmas cards up in the house to improve

my mood.I mean if I can't do my usual decorations I gotta do something(I go all

out for the holiday). I also Lysol'ed the heck out of the house.....Brad and

I have been passing the flu back and forth now for awhile. My poor dog is

depressed and confused.Mommy goes in and Daddy come out and vice versa.

Anyways...Off I go to see the wonderful expressions of the nurses and ER docs

when they listen to my chest.Actually its quite amusing...LOL

Anyways..I'll get word to Linnie and she's update everyone and send word out

to the other lists.

Gosh, I will be so glad when I get to Florida and can get listed.Maybe this

time next year I'll be too busy running and playing to be online (Naw....Im too

much of a computer geek.I'll just run and type at the same time or

something....I am ADD if you hadn't noticed).

Anyways...

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS

and a

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Becki

YOUR FAVORITE LilGooberGirl

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