wife disagrees; says no to helmet for son

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I recently joined this group, and this is my first post.

In short: I believe my son needs a reshaping helmet. His mother disagrees.

Oliver is 13 months old. He presented frank breech, and was born in September

2008 via C-section.

We did not notice until he was a month old that his head always turned to his

right.

This caused torticollis on the right side of his neck, which in turn caused his

positional plagiocephaly. His forehead bulges on his right side, and his head is

long and narrow. (To be clear: I do not want to change the long and narrow

shape. I simply want to eliminate the forehead bulge as much as possible.)

No one even warned us of the potential (and preventable) problem of positional

plagiocephaly.

Not the OBGYN.

Not our first family doctor (who was a GP).

And not our current pediatrician.

For Oliver's first 6 months we tried repositioning, and only because of my

insistence and diligence. The repositioning gave some improvement, but the

forehead bulge is still noticeable from above.

Since the end of those first 6 months I have tried — unsuccessfully — to

convince my wife that Oliver needs a reshaping helmet, but she will not even

CONSIDER it. She thinks I'm making all of this up, that nothing is wrong, that I

need psychotherapy.

I eventually persuaded my wife to switch from the GP to our current

pediatrician. During his 1-year checkup, I asked for a second opinion. After a

quick glance of Oliver's head the pediatrician said she didn't recommend a

helmet. She wasn't sure the forehead bulge would go away by itself, but said he

was otherwise just fine, with nothing to worry about.

At the time I believed I would eventually accept the situation and move on, but

I couldn't shake the feeling that Oliver's forehead bulge could be corrected or

lessened.

So I scheduled an appointment in early November with Cranial Tech near Chicago

for an evaluation and hopefully measured for a DOC Band. After reviewing photos

of Oliver's head to the managing clinician, she responded:

" I would agree with you that there is a significant asymmetry to his head

shape. I think it would be a very good idea to come for a consult. Because

Oliver is 13 months, it would be difficult to attain perfect symmetry but I

think the DOC band would benefit him. "

In the meantime I scheduled another appointment with our pediatrician to obtain

a script that would allow us to get the helmet. (We can't legally or medically

proceed without the script.) But instead the doctor lectured me about the

unnecessary trauma Oliver would endure by wearing a helmet. And I got a finger

pointing.

Needless to say, I still strongly disagree and would like a third opinion.

The pediatrician said she would refer us to a neurosurgeon at the local

Children's Hospital, but she essentially guaranteed that he won't provide a

script either.

My wife essentially gave me a " told you so " , and continues to deny me any help.

With each day I become more concerned that the window of opportunity to correct

my son's head shape is passing.

I feel like have no options left.

And it pains me to say that our marriage is in trouble. Deeply.

Any advice is most welcome. Thanks so much in advance for your help.

*I will try to upload photos for reference.