Fwd: Fw: News from the Year 2030 [Virus Checked]

[Guest guest]

> Subject: News Flashes Year 2030

>

> 1. Fidel Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported

> legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

>

> 2. Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.

>

> 3. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of

> the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon).

>

> 4. Afghanistan still closed off--physicists estimate it will take at

> least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

>

> 5. Hunt continues for Osama bin Laden; believed sighted at Yasser Arafat's

> tomb in Detroit.

>

> 6. Thirty-five year study proclaims diet and exercise is the key to weight

> loss.

>

> 7. Texas executes last remaining citizen.

>

> 8. Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

>

> 9. Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

>

> 10. Authentic year 2000 Florida " chad " sells at Sotheby's for $4.6

million.

>

>

> 11. Ozone created by electric cars killing thousands in Los Angeles.

>

> 12. Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.

>

> 13. Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so

> it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

>

> 14. New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers and

> baseball bats be registered by January 2036.

>

> 15. Colorado motorist arrested for not driving SUV.

>

> 16. Average worker's Social Security (FICA) contribution hits $12,000 per

> week. Protests planned.

>

> 17. Congressman Condit still missing.

>

> 18. Senator Strom Thurmond remains dead; continues to cast votes.

>

> 19. White House demands Saddam Hussein's resignation for 748th time. No

> response.

>

>

> 20. Seats for Mel ' " The Producers " on Broadway, decline to

> $12,000 per ticket.

>

> 21. Oprah Winfrey, nearing retirement, buys Illinois.

>

>

> 22. E-mail messages, like this one, now charged at $5 per word. Please

> remit.

>

>

>

>

> **********************************************************************

>

> **********************************************************************

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ----

>

>

>

>

>

>