Fwd:Another funny Insanity joke

[Guest guest]

>1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He though he was

>God

>and I didn't!

>

>2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

>

>3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

>

>4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

>

>5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

>

>6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

>

>7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

>

>8 ) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

>

>9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

>

>10) Quoting one is plagiarism; Quoting many is research.

>

>11) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

>

>12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

>

>13) NyQuil - The stuffy, Sneezy, why the hell is the room spinning,

>medicine.

>

>14) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather .... not screaming and

>yelling like the passengers in his car.

>

>15) God must love stupid people, he made so many.

>

>16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

>

>17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.

>

>18 ) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

>

>19) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

>

>20) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

>

>21) MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.

>

>22) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!

>

>23) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Buttheads!

>

>24) ly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam (seen on Cape Cod)

>

>25) Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.

>

>26) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

>

>27) Procrastinate Now

>

>28 ) Rehab Is for Quitters

>

>29) My Dog Can Lick Anyone

>

>30) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?

>

>31) Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.

>

>32) Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been doing since 15

>

>33) ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING

>

>34) West Virginia: One Million People and 15 last names

>

>35) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.

>

>36) MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT

>

>37) A hangover is the wrath of grapes

>

>38 ) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

>

>39) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

>

>40) DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music

>

>41) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken

>

>42) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead

>

>43) Time's fun when you're having flies ... Kermit the Frog

>

>44) POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN ... Cops have nothing to go on.

>

>45) FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.

>

>46) HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH

>

>47) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand times

>the memory.

>

>48 ) The Meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through with it.

>

>49) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

>

>50) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a

>pig

>

>51) WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years

>

>52) The trouble with life is there's no background music

>

>53) IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?

>

>54) The original point and click interface was a & Wesson