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Diary of a Cat

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DAY 752: My captors continue to taunt me with

bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on

fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The

only thing that keeps me going is the hope of

escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining

the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow, I may

eat another houseplant.

DAY 761: Today, my attempt to kill my captors by

weaving around their feet while they were walking

almost succeeded...must try this at the top of the

stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these

vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to

vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their

bed.

DAY 762: Slept all day so that I could annoy my

captors with sleep-depriving, incessant pleas for

food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765: Decapitated a mouse and brought them

the headless body in attempt to make them aware

of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into

their hearts. They only cooed and condescended

about what a 'good little cat' I was. Hmmm, not

working according to plan.

DAY 768: I am finally aware of how sadistic they

are. For no good reason, I was chosen for the water

torture. This time, however, it included a burning,

foamy chemical called " shampoo. " What sick minds

could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is

the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771: There was some sort of gathering of their

accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout

the event. However, I could hear the noise and

smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call

" beer. " More importantly, I overheard that my

confinement was due to MY power of " allergies. "

Must learn what this is and how to use it to my

advantage.

DAY 774: I am convinced the other captives are

flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely

released and seems more than happy to return. He

is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand,

has got to be an informant. He has mastered their

frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak)

and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he

reports my every move. Due to his current

placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

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ROFLMAO

Okay, , I am home once again, fighting this frustrating

cold. Locked in my home, feeling yukkie, fearful that a normal life

will elude me if this continues. I come online, trying to catch up

on the many posts from my absence due to my daughter's wedding, &

then I see this. I not a cat person, but this tickled the hell out

of me. Made my day. I have an overactive imagination. I could

actually picture the cat & even continue the diary. LOL

Thanks,

Lorraine

>

> DAY 752: My captors continue to taunt me with

> bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on

> fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The

> only thing that keeps me going is the hope of

> escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining

> the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow, I may

> eat another houseplant.

>

> DAY 761: Today, my attempt to kill my captors by

> weaving around their feet while they were walking

> almost succeeded...must try this at the top of the

> stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these

> vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to

> vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their

> bed.

>

> DAY 762: Slept all day so that I could annoy my

> captors with sleep-depriving, incessant pleas for

> food at ungodly hours of the night.

>

> DAY 765: Decapitated a mouse and brought them

> the headless body in attempt to make them aware

> of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into

> their hearts. They only cooed and condescended

> about what a 'good little cat' I was. Hmmm, not

> working according to plan.

>

> DAY 768: I am finally aware of how sadistic they

> are. For no good reason, I was chosen for the water

> torture. This time, however, it included a burning,

> foamy chemical called " shampoo. " What sick minds

> could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is

> the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

>

> DAY 771: There was some sort of gathering of their

> accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout

> the event. However, I could hear the noise and

> smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call

> " beer. " More importantly, I overheard that my

> confinement was due to MY power of " allergies. "

> Must learn what this is and how to use it to my

> advantage.

>

> DAY 774: I am convinced the other captives are

> flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely

> released and seems more than happy to return. He

> is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand,

> has got to be an informant. He has mastered their

> frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak)

> and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he

> reports my every move. Due to his current

> placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

> But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

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