Blowing off a little steam....(feel free to disregard)

[Guest guest]

Y'all, (I'm from Texas LOL) I am so disgusted

with myself I could SCREAM! I canNOT get control

of my eating, water, and exercise. I have gained

several pounds when I'm still about 30 from goal.

I haven't lost any real weight in many months.

Every day I'm going to START; I'm going to do

better. I do fine during the day sometimes, but

in the evening and at night, I just lose it and

start cramming stuff in my fat mouth. And lately

it hasn't even been just at night. I look in

the mirror, and I hate that person looking back

at me that is so weak. WHAT is the answer? WHAT

is wrong with me? Yes, I've lost 130- 140 pounds,

but now I seem to have no control. What if I

gain it back? I am so digusted, depressed, and

just plain angry at myself. I so want things to

be different. Will food forever control me?

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/24/2003 8:59:26 PM Eastern Standard Time,

nkh0409@... writes:

and I hate that person looking back

at me that is so weak. WHAT is the answer? WHAT

is wrong with me?

Sweetie, the Carb monster has you by the throat. You are a lovely person who

has an addiction. My doc used to tell me that depression is anger turned

inward. He said that when I am on the treadmill I was to think all of the

" evil "

thoughts and if necessary outloud. Tell it like it is, using any language,

just get the anger out. Now as for the eating part, you know you have to detox.

Three days on all protein usually does it. But you first have to see that

you are a good person who happens to have a disease, a disease that never goes

away and is always there ready to pounce.

Fay Bayuk

**300/166

10/23/01

Dr.

Open RNY 150 cm

Click for My Profile

http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008

[Guest guest]

Well one good thing about venting on here... is that you are probably not

rooting for food at the same tame and there is less chance that you are

eating while typing.

They used to tell us in OA to get to a meeting. I resented that at first

(not sure why) until I realized it was for the simple fact that it got me

out somewhere where I would not be tempted to overeat.

First thing I would do is say am I getting enough... enough food but enough

of the foods I do enjoy. Foods I do look forward to having. Do you have

Crystal Light on hand for those times you need the special sweetness. Or my

bottle of Diet Vanilla Coke is a " treat " for me.

In addition to the nibble foods I need to have some of the good foods that

may take a little longer to prepare. Someone on here posted a recipe for an

awesome cheesecake. Get some of that. Refrigerate in individual portions.

Now here is where a good neighbor comes in handy. Freeze them in portions

and tell the neighbor to only give you one when you are desperate.

I am taking to making the foods I want to pig out on harder to get to. I am

short. I have things in the back of the closet on the top shelf... gives me

more time.

Luckily my desire to eat is often overcome by my desire to be to lazy to go

to the corner Wawa (like a 7-11) and pick up something.

it if helps ... redeemer you are not alone. Write to me and other on

this list privately if necessary. I also get a lot of help from the OSSG

back on track group.

Athough I still have problems dealing with face to face OA meetings, I found

the OA philosophy to be a great strength for me and there is a wonderful

group online for Weight Loss Surgery Anonymous. I am sure there are others

of us who are with you and many in lurkdome who want to reach out and say

" yeh, me too " when they read your letter.

We are in a sinking boat and all holding hands. we are going to make it.

Blowing off a little steam....(feel free to

disregard)

> Y'all, (I'm from Texas LOL) I am so disgusted

> with myself I could SCREAM! I canNOT get control

> of my eating, water, and exercise. I have gained

> several pounds when I'm still about 30 from goal.

> I haven't lost any real weight in many months.

> Every day I'm going to START; I'm going to do

> better. I do fine during the day sometimes, but

> in the evening and at night, I just lose it and

> start cramming stuff in my fat mouth. And lately

> it hasn't even been just at night. I look in

> the mirror, and I hate that person looking back

> at me that is so weak. WHAT is the answer? WHAT

> is wrong with me? Yes, I've lost 130- 140 pounds,

> but now I seem to have no control. What if I

> gain it back? I am so digusted, depressed, and

> just plain angry at myself. I so want things to

> be different. Will food forever control me?

>

> Thanks for letting me vent.

>

>

>

>

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

I hear you loud and clear. Find an eating disorders counselor. That's

what I've had to do to even START getting a handle on my behavior.

Losing the weight doesn't cure the old problems. I still had all the

feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and failure that I started with, but

now I can't quiet them with food. For a while, I quieted them by

spending money, but that made things (and is still making things) way

worse.

And on the nighttime eating thing, GO TO BED. You can't stuff your face

at midnight if you go to bed at 9:30. That sounds incredibly stupid and

patronizing, but it's actually helping me. Go figure. :-)

Z

Open RNY 09/17/01

310/126/141 (goal was 160)

Then/lowest/now

http://www.ziobro.us/Blogger/WLS.html

Blowing off a little steam....(feel free to

disregard)

Y'all, (I'm from Texas LOL) I am so disgusted with myself I could

SCREAM! I canNOT get control of my eating, water, and exercise. I have

gained several pounds when I'm still about 30 from goal.

I haven't lost any real weight in many months.

Every day I'm going to START; I'm going to do better. I do fine during

the day sometimes, but in the evening and at night, I just lose it and

start cramming stuff in my fat mouth. And lately it hasn't even been

just at night. I look in the mirror, and I hate that person looking

back at me that is so weak. WHAT is the answer? WHAT is wrong with me?

Yes, I've lost 130- 140 pounds, but now I seem to have no control. What

if I gain it back? I am so digusted, depressed, and just plain angry at

myself. I so want things to be different. Will food forever control me?

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Guest guest]

Would anybody be willing to lock me up in their

attic for a few days while I do get off the carbs?

=================

:

You can come and use my attic. We'll be away for the next three days. If

you wouldn't mind though, when you venture down for a bathroom break,

would you please feed the dog, cat and the fish? I'd appreciate it.

You'll do fine. This is my third week of mostly shakes, did initial four

days then started adding protein rich foods. In the first two weeks the

scale went up 5 lbs. Thought I would have a stroke, but got on this

morning and it has started to go down. Apparently I lost inches though,

because the clothes are fitting better. Who knows. I do feel a lot

better without all that crap in my system though.

Good luck to you. I'll be cheering over here for you.

Regina