Re: off the subject, but I am one angry mother

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/12/03 4:06:13 PM US Eastern Standard Time,

dyer02@... writes:

> What really gets me is my daughter is 12 years old,

> playing on the Jr. high volleyball team and is about 5ft tall and

> weighs about 100 pds.

It sounds to me like she is perfect. I know how hard all of this is and how

much we want to protect them from what we went through.

My daughter just turned 9. She is 5'2 " and 110 pounds and strong as an ox.

She plays soccer and is absolutely awesome out there on the field. But the

minute she is off of the field, all that strength and confidence just vanishes.

She wishes she were " little and cute. "

::::sigh::::

It is just really hard to keep them from picking up all the negatives that

are out there. I would think seriously about dealing with the school in some way

if this does not stop for your daughter. OTOH, I know I would have tolerated

almost anything to keep my parents away from school when I was in 7th grade!

No real answers here - just know that you are not alone!

hugs,

Ann

[Guest guest]

This is not at all off of topic. God only knows how much I have been

teased over the years and kids can be the worst. Even at 40 years old

and over 400 lbs, it was the remarks by kids that hurt more then

anything. At 5 ft tall and 100 lbs, your daughter is not overweight. At

5 ft 1, I weighed 130 lbs at graduation and looked great. I looked sick

at 120 lbs but I am also built like my Cherokee grandmother.

Lori Owen - Denton, Texas

SRVG 7/16/01

Dr. Ritter/Dr. Bryce

On Fri, 12 Sep 2003 21:03:58 -0000 " " writes:

> I am sorry that this is off the subject and maybe long by the time I

>

> get done ranting. I just called my 7th grade daughter at home to see

>

> how her day went and she said ok, except for this one girl who

> continues to pick on her. Last time I told her to tell the girl

> that, as long as she is picking on my daughter then she can't pick

> on someone else. Well apparently they were in class and before the

> bell rang, she was yelling to my daughter the cows are calling you.

>

> She continued to say this over and over. I asked my daughter what

> did you do, she replied that the girl kept talking so she could not

>

> get a word in, (she was going to say what I told her to say) anyway

>

> the bell rang and at that point the kids are to stop talking. So my

>

> daughter didn't get a chance to say anything. This part of the story

>

> makes me hurt only because my daughter is very sensitve and I know

> it had to hurt. What really puts the icing on the cake for me was,

> there was a teacher sitting there the whole time, the only words out

>

> of her mouth were you need to get quiet. HELLO!!! I would have

> yanked that girl right to the principle. So I told my daughter not

> to worry about it, if it happens again then she has my permission to

>

> speak after the bell has rang, (only to again say what I told her,

> as long as your picking on me then you not picking on someone else)

> even if she does get into trouble. I would back her 100%. I offered

>

> to goto the school and have a talk, but she was not sure about that,

>

> since the girl may tease her about having her mother get involved.

> So I told her to think about it over the weekend and she can handle

>

> it herself. What really gets me is my daughter is 12 years old,

> playing on the Jr. high volleyball team and is about 5ft tall and

> weighs about 100 pds. She is already concerned about her weight

> after watching me struggle. She is not skinny and not fat, as I

> would say she is healthy. Thank you ladies for letting me vent. I

> applogize since this is not on the subject, but I had to let it

> out.

>

> RNY

> 10/97

> 260/155

>

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/12/2003 5:19:27 PM Eastern Standard Time,

lgallagher95830@... writes:

When they come home whining and upset that someone teased them...what do you

do?

I am not sure, but I think that today's schools use the real term for

teasing, Harassment. I am going to ask my daughter about her school's policy on

this

and get back to you.

Fay Bayuk

**300/166

10/23/01

Dr.

Open RNY 150 cm

Click for My Profile

http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 9/13/2003 5:35:27 AM Eastern Standard Time,

lgallagher95830@... writes:

I would never tell my son to use his size to bully other kids, but if all

else failed (like telling the teachers and principle), I think I'd have to tell

Tristan to defend himself in all ways possible.

Please, I don't want to turn this into an argument of who is right and who is

wrong. I understand the urge to settle a dispute with violence. But, did

the child do all he could with his brains before resorting to brawn. (I am not

talking about the parent here.) There is a woman at my work who said some

horrible things about me. It would never occur to me to beat her up.

Fay Bayuk

**300/166

10/23/01

Dr.

Open RNY 150 cm

Click for My Profile

http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/profile.phtml?N=Bayuk951061008

[Guest guest]

lgallagher: The succesful people in life, learn how to negotiatiate, debate,

problem resolution with win win results. This is my last post on this

subject. Fay

In a message dated 9/13/2003 6:05:16 AM Eastern Standard Time,

lgallagher95830@... writes:

Why not?

[Guest guest]

My son just started in the Middle School here, 5th grade. There are a

bunch of 8th grade bullies on the bus and one of them took his glasses

off him the second day of school. Of course I didn't hear about this

until this past Thursday, when another 5th grader on my block was

getting the crap kicked out of him by yet another 8th grader.

My son is very bright, but very passive. I told him that if someone is

calling him names like four eyes, brace face, whatever they could come

up with, its up to him how he wants to deal with it. However, if someone

is invading his personal space and touching him, his glasses, back pack,

whatever, that's another story and if he feels it is necessary, to hit

the other kid, then go for it. I also told him that we would support his

decision and that if he picked the bigger one of the kids and gave him a

good ass kicking, chances are he'll never get picked on again.

Fortunately, one of the 5th graders that was being picked on has a

brother in the high school who went on the bus and threatened the two

little bas-----. Hopefully that will stop all the crap. The kid who took

my son's glasses isn't even supposed to be on the bus, so that's one

problem solved. The other kid has a drunken single father who could care

less what he does and doesn't want to be bothered with school shit.

That's what he told the vice principal. And you wonder where these kids

get their attitudes from. Oh brother.

Regina

[Guest guest]

It is amazing what some kids have to go through. I went through

school being picked on because of my weight.

My daughter was in 6th grade last year (11yrs old) when some eighth

graders were picking on her. My hubby told my daughter to find out

the names and then he contacted the vice principal. The girls were

put in a program about bullying and they never bothered her again.

This year 2 kids started picking on her and she marched right down to

the principal's office and reported it. They have not bothered her

since. She is standing up for herself. We are fortunate to have a

school district that cares about all the kids and has zero tolerance

for bullying. And we have a responsive staff. makes it worth the

school taxes that I am paying (even though Vermont has screwed up the

system big time, long story but it is a statewide school equalization

tax called Act 60)

Rita in Vermont

open rny 3/31/94

[Guest guest]

Wow, I wish I had that much composure at 46. You go girl! Did you

ever continue on with the United Nations?

Tigger

> When I was 16, I spent several weeks studying at the United

Nations, which

> is supposedly setting the standard on how we all treat each other

as world

> neighbors. One of my most vivid memories of that trip,

unfortunately, was an

> " encounter " with a waitress in the Delegates Dining Room. This is a

very

> elite dining facility, open ONLY to the ambassadors and their

guests-no

> staff, no aides, no public in general. I, and the 150 other young

people

> there, were guests of the President of the General Assembly.

> I had received my meal from the waitress, and found that the steak

I had was

> RARE and cold, and not something that I relished eating. I politely

asked

> that it be returned to the kitchen, and cooked a little longer. The

waitress

> told me, " I'm not taking everything every snot-nosed kid here

doesn't like

> back to the kitchen. " I stood up, and told her, with all the

dignity I could

> muster, " I am NOT a snot-nosed kid. I am a relatively intelligent

young

> person and here because I have an adult grasp of world politics. I

don't

> believe that you would speak to a delegate or any of the other

guests in

> this manner. Now, please take this back to the kitchen. " I then sat

down,

> and smoothed my napkin in my lap (even " little girls from Podunk,

America "

> know it doesn't go under your chin.). She took my plate back to the

kitchen.

> I think it's regrettable that I have such a memory from the seat of

> international diplomacy. I'm fortunate that I was raised that I

didn't have

> to take that kind of treatment, and learned to reject it with grace

and good

> manners. (IMHO)

>

> Jac

> http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

> http://members.cox.net/XXXFARMPAINTS

> mail to: jholdaway@c...

>

> Order a BRAT 2004 calendar today at:

> http://www.basenjirescue.org/calendarcontest/

[Guest guest]

Jac, from what I can see, the people you have worked with are VERY

lucky. Being a cop is an extremely difficult job. I have a number of

friends who either are or were cops (sorry to stereotype, but most

seem to come with an attitude). You seem like such a caring

individual, unlike the norm, I hope the people you help are in some

way aware of how lucky they are. I'm glad you continued on in public

service even after how you were treated at the UN.

Tigger

> I worked with UNICEF for a number of years. But other than that,

no. I

> became a cop. And in 23 years in law enforcement, working off duty

in a

> homeless shelter, and fostering homeless kids, I made it a point to

NEVER

> speak to someone as if they were of lesser intelligence, regardless

of their

> age, income, or social stature. And I was rarely disappointed in the

> treatment I got in return. You have to give respect to receive it,

but

> somebody has to make the first move. It doesn't bother me to take

the

> initiative.

>

> Jac

> http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

> http://members.cox.net/XXXFARMPAINTS

> mail to: jholdaway@c...

>

> Order a BRAT 2004 calendar today at:

> http://www.basenjirescue.org/calendarcontest/

>

> Re: off the subject, but I am one angry

mother

>

> Wow, I wish I had that much composure at 46. You go girl! Did you

> ever continue on with the United Nations?

> Tigger