WIFE LEFT ME AFTER GETTING SURGERY AND LOSING ALL HER WIEGHT

[Guest guest]

I FEEL AS IF SHE HAD PLANNED THIS OUT. SHE LEFT ME ONE YEAR FROM THE

FIRST CONSULTATION TIME. SHE WAS A VERY LARGE WOMEN. I NEVER ASKED

HER TO LOSE WIEGHT OR PUT HER DOWN IN ANY WAY. SHE LOST A LOT.

SOMTHING LIKE SIZE 18 TO A SIZE 6 MAYBE DOWN TO A 2. SHE IS ABLE TO

WEAR MY 7 YEAR OLDS PANTS AND SHIRTS NOW. HOW MANY WOMEN AND I GUESS

GUYS OUT THERE AFTER LOSING THE WIEGHT LEFT THEIR SPOUSES? I AM

REALLY MISSING HER. IS THIS A COMMON OCCURANCE? SHE WAS MY

HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEART.

DARREN HANES

DLHANES@...

SUZANNAHANES@... (HER EMAIL)

[Guest guest]

Very sorry to hear of your loss. I have also heard of this happening

before. And not just with the surgery, but with people who have lost a

great deal of weight by other means.

My roommate in the hospital said (in front of my husband)that in one

year I'd be thin and leave my husband for a younger man. She was only

joking, but my husband didn't find it the least bit funny.

SHE LEFT ME ONE YEAR FROM THE

> FIRST CONSULTATION TIME.

IS THIS A COMMON OCCURANCE?

> DARREN HANES

>

> DLHANES@Y...

> SUZANNAHANES@N... (HER EMAIL)

[Guest guest]

I am also very sorry to hear that. I am a counselor. I have heard of

that happening alot. They lose the weight and feel they need to make

up for the lost time being heavy. A new found freedom so to speak. I

myself have had the operation. I have lost over 100 pounds in

7months. My wife gets very upset with girls now. Girls notice me now

alot. I get alot of attention from them now. She is afraid I will

leave her for someone else. Though the thought has crossed my mine.

I could never do that. She was there when others was not. She loved

me before I looked this good. Also, I do think marriage is a life

time thing. However if she leaves I know I could find someone else.

All this aside I love her very much. I will pray for you and yours.

She may return after she has her fun. Then when things come crashing

down on her. She may come running back to the one who truly loved

her. It will be up to you then as to what to do. I do hope you will

keep me updated.

Thorughman

Email: apostolicoutreach@...

Web: www.apostolicoutreach.org

[Guest guest]

Darren,

First, I'm sorry that you're having to go through this pain. Second,

marriage is not about me OR you, it's about me AND you. Whether it

was pride, selfishness, or her wanting to " find herself " , your life

goes on. She is " living " her life, so now its time to pick up the

pieces of yours and start living as a single again. Yes, I've had

fleeting thoughts like these, but I would never leave my best friend

just because of I can. We have been through to much together and I

owe her all of my time and love than I have while I'm left on this

earth. I have been through your type of ordeal with my first wife

and vowed I would not put my life in that position again. The old

adage " Fool me once, shame on me, Fool me twice, shame on me " comes

to mind. One final thought. We cannot control other people, no

matter how close they are to us, the only person we can control is

ourself. Don't dwell on what was, think about what's next! best of

luck.

-Ray

> I FEEL AS IF SHE HAD PLANNED THIS OUT. SHE LEFT ME

<<SNIP>>

[Guest guest]

I am so sorry your wife did this. I can not imagine leaving my

husband when this is all over. When we married, I was very thin (96

lbs) and he has stood by me as I gained weight with all three kids.

He has never been on me to lose weight and has always treated me like

I was beautiful. Now that I have had this surgery, he has been

WONDERFUL. I am only 1 week post op, but he has stepped in and taken

control. He takes care of the kids, their meals, the house,

everything. Plus, he makes sure I eat, even when I don't want too.

He has been so supportive and incredible, I can not even imagine

leaving him when this is all over. It is like I told him when he

told me his coworkers were teasing him about it. I am changing my

outside, not my inside. The truth of the matter is, my husband is

incredibly handsome and is in great shape. He is 32, but our friends

are much older. Whenever we are around our friends, their daughters

(ages 19 -21) and their friends blatantly flirt with him. He ignores

it and treats them like children and always makes sure they see him

wrap his arms around me. Why would I ever consider leaving a man

like this? People should look at what they are leaving before they

do something like your wife did. I hope you find someone that

deserves you.

kim

> I am also very sorry to hear that. I am a counselor. I have heard

of

> that happening alot. They lose the weight and feel they need to

make

> up for the lost time being heavy. A new found freedom so to speak.

I

> myself have had the operation. I have lost over 100 pounds in

> 7months. My wife gets very upset with girls now. Girls notice me

now

> alot. I get alot of attention from them now. She is afraid I will

> leave her for someone else. Though the thought has crossed my mine.

> I could never do that. She was there when others was not. She loved

> me before I looked this good. Also, I do think marriage is a life

> time thing. However if she leaves I know I could find someone else.

> All this aside I love her very much. I will pray for you and yours.

> She may return after she has her fun. Then when things come

crashing

> down on her. She may come running back to the one who truly loved

> her. It will be up to you then as to what to do. I do hope you will

> keep me updated.

>

> Thorughman

> Email: apostolicoutreach@j...

> Web: www.apostolicoutreach.org

[Guest guest]

Darren,

I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. People do odd things

sometimes. I am a firm believer that " EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON " . I

married my husband because we were best friends, we are everything to each other

and could never imagine leaving him because now I am thinner. He has supported

me and loved me thin or thick. I didn't change who I am on the inside, just the

outside. Did you all have problems in your marriage before she even went to for

the consult? How long have you been married?

in Delaware

Lap RNY 3/10/04

261/178/120

In a message dated 7/26/2004 9:55:05 PM Eastern Daylight Time, " dlhanes "

writes:

>I FEEL AS IF SHE HAD PLANNED THIS OUT. SHE LEFT ME ONE YEAR FROM THE

>FIRST CONSULTATION TIME. SHE WAS A VERY LARGE WOMEN. I NEVER ASKED

>HER TO LOSE WIEGHT OR PUT HER DOWN IN ANY WAY. SHE LOST A LOT.

>SOMTHING LIKE SIZE 18 TO A SIZE 6 MAYBE DOWN TO A 2. SHE IS ABLE TO

>WEAR MY 7 YEAR OLDS PANTS AND SHIRTS NOW. HOW MANY WOMEN AND I GUESS

>GUYS OUT THERE AFTER LOSING THE WIEGHT LEFT THEIR SPOUSES? I AM

>REALLY MISSING HER. IS THIS A COMMON OCCURANCE? SHE WAS MY

>HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEART.

>

>DARREN HANES

>

>DLHANES@...

>SUZANNAHANES@... (HER EMAIL)

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

DARREN:

i am really sorry to hear about what happened and i do hope you the best in your

future

take care

shirley of fontana so cal

dlhanes wrote:

I FEEL AS IF SHE HAD PLANNED THIS OUT. SHE LEFT ME ONE YEAR FROM THE

FIRST CONSULTATION TIME. SHE WAS A VERY LARGE WOMEN. I NEVER ASKED

HER TO LOSE WIEGHT OR PUT HER DOWN IN ANY WAY. SHE LOST A LOT.

SOMTHING LIKE SIZE 18 TO A SIZE 6 MAYBE DOWN TO A 2. SHE IS ABLE TO

WEAR MY 7 YEAR OLDS PANTS AND SHIRTS NOW. HOW MANY WOMEN AND I GUESS

GUYS OUT THERE AFTER LOSING THE WIEGHT LEFT THEIR SPOUSES? I AM

REALLY MISSING HER. IS THIS A COMMON OCCURANCE? SHE WAS MY

HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEART.

DARREN HANES

DLHANES@...

SUZANNAHANES@... (HER EMAIL)