Becky - up funks and down funks

[Guest guest]

Becky,

I hear ya about the funks! They come and go and sometimes they are up

ones and sometimes they are down ones. You can be feeling on top of

the world and super positive (like me this morning) and then feel

like life generally sucks at this moment in time (how i felt this

afternoon after seeing my ortho). It just ain'r fair huh? And then

having a boyfriend give you crap well....my lovely fiancee pulled a

similar trick on me this past Sunday. We've all heard about my loss

of appetite post-op. Well there I am this Sunday eating Gerber baby

food like a good girl. Let me say that even when I was a baby I used

to spit Gerber out into my mom's face becuz I couldn't stand it but

since the fiancee was so worried about my lack of eating I chowed

down that bastard puree without complaining. I leave less than one

spoon in the bowl because I was just so worn out from sucking it all

in and I honestly couldn't suck in more. Well Alessandro says to

me, " stop being a baby and eat all that food. " Well I totally lost

it. I actually yelled at him through my elastics (try it gals, it

actually feels good). I told him that the only one acting like a baby

was him for forcing me to eat such shit and then giving me a hard

time about not finishing it all and that when I get my splint removed

I am going to bring it home so that he can wear it for a few weeks

too and then we'll see whose baby. Well that shut him up proper and I

felt miles better after. The basic truth is that unless you've gone

through this process there is only so much you can understand or

sympathize with. For some reason some of our " supporters " believe

pulling the tough act will toughen us up but what they don't realize

is that they just need to ride on the rollercoaster with us. I

explained this very carefully to my mom re-op and she seems to have

figured it out because apart from making believe she understands me

and making me laugh until it hurts she has been an absolute doll

since day 1.

Hold on tight Becky. We'll get through this one way or another even

though right about now I want to rip this darn splint out and throw

it out the window.

Sara xx

> i woke up this morning - and i was mad. really really mad. my

> cheekbones hurt more than anything has during this entire process.

i

> was pretty puffy. everytime i bit down into my splint - i hit my

> right cheek. i was hungry - but didn't want to eat. i was bored -

> but didn't want to read. i was tired - but didn't want to sleep. i

> basically was a gigantic mess that would have been whining - but i

> couldn't really talk.

>

> my ear keeps doing this crazy pseudo popping thing - you know like

> when you can hear through a tunnel for a bit and then it's gone.

i'm

> on serious antibiotics - so i doubt it's an infection - but i'll

call

> tomorrow if it's still a problem. i have a gigantic bruise from

where

> the " A " line was (the one that checks your blood oxygen during

> surgery). my hip is still sore. my nose is still stuffy. and

where

> the hell did my chin go?!? is it possible that by gaining an upper

> jaw - i could be chinless??? i started to tear up - and then i got

> the yelling from joey about how i shouldn't cry. wtf???? i can't

> scream - i can't cry. what else?!?

>

> i ate some breakfast. sat around. ate some lunch (mac and cheese -

> well a little because it just takes so long and then an ensure).

took

> a shower. and then took a good long nap. i woke up and realized i

> don't hate everyone and everything like i did before. that i can

> actually see a nasal passage in my left nostril - something i

couldn't

> do for like 10 years.

>

> i didn't want to write about this before because i've been trying to

> stay upbeat - especially for the preop people. but being on the

other

> side of my funk - i just wanted to say that a funk may come - but it

> eventually will go ) i'm going to owe joey big time for this )

>

> maybe tomorrow i'll go see star wars. or mr. and mrs smith. i'm

not

> sure. but i hope more than anything that i'll soon see my chin!!!

>

> -becky