Re: My 2nd FAMILY?????????

July 18, 2004

if you were not the one to ask ray to leave than don't feel bad ' i don't know

what he said to upset you but he probably should have thought before he made the

statement, do not leave this group because of it. nobody made him leave it was

his choice and what he wanted was someone or everyone to beg him to come back or

stay . it makes him feel good and wanted just as you or i do , but it was still

his choice to leave he didn't have to listen to one person that asked him, i

think it was kind of childish on his part to do this ,

people might not like what i am saying now but oh well they just need to think

about it , his reaction was that of a child I'm leaving now because someone

told me to wa wa wa POOR RAY

i had my say and if ray wants to come back he can but remember he is no longer

in this group so you can keep saying please come back but he isn't reading it

RIGHT or is he in the back ground taking it all in ?until he can make a big come

back and then be able to say what ever he wants whether it hurts some or not

HAD MY SAY ABOUT THIS , I HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR ALONG TIME AND I HAVE LEARNED

ALOT ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE DO TO GET THEIR WAY AND THIS WAS ONE OF THEM AND IF WHAT

I SAID BOTHERS ANYONE LET ME TELL YOU IM NOT LEAVING HA HA

bye Shirley of Fontana so cal

jackrussellrunner wrote:

Well, I felt that this group provided support for one another. I

understand that everyone, including myself, has been missing Ray. I

only expressed how my feelings were hurt about one commment. I got

over it and began to not care anymore. This has been dragged on long

enough. I am so disappointed that no one understood how I felt, not

stood up for me or even " babied " me, but just expressed sincerity.

We are all emotional and uneasy after surgery. I felt hurt by Ray's

comment about my situation when I was simply spilling my emotions

and trusting all of you. I have recently decided that I may be

leaving the group. Since no one has cared up to this point or even

expressed sympathy, I believe that I will soon be leaving. I have

learned so much from everyone and enjoyed hearing stories, and yes

even jokes. I understand that humor helps healing, but sometimes we

also need to think about others. I am sure that we have all been

made fun of at some point or another and it has rolled off our

shoulders or not. In this instance I felt that I am connected to all

of you by a bond that is so strong, I felt comfortable saying

anything. When my comfort was broken slightly, I felt as if I was

belittled and ridiculed for honesty. That is how I FELT. Now, I

think that if Ray came across my path that I would extend my hand

and have a truths. The only problem with this is that someone e-

mailed him and asked him to leave. I have never even thought about

saying this to anyone here, especially since that would break this

special bond. I know how I would feel if someone came to me and

asked me to leave this group. In essence, I feel that since no one

expressed concern or sympathy for the way that I felt, as expressed

in previous posts, that no one would care if I decided to leave. I

have looked for new support groups, other than the one with my

surgeon, and have found none that compare with the sharing and

feelings that are here. I will continue to read posts and help those

that need it, but I am now apprehensive. I do not feel as though I

am welcomed here anymore. I am sorry that this happened with Ray

when he was having a problem with others. Timing is beyond anyone's

control. I hope that Ray finds out how I feel now and that he comes

back for the sake of the group and for my benefit as well. I can

only hope that in the next few days that I feel like part of my

second family.

Bethany

281/261/227/150

July 19, 2004

Bethany,

Just my .02 but I find this happens in all groups I belong to. I am

active in care and Genealogy which mean's an array of

different personalities. Its just all of us coming together to help

each other and some speaking their minds more directly at times. I

also call it a " Damned if you do and damned if you don't! " situation

at times. We have a hard shell that we were born with and need to

just remember that some shells are broken. I have found that if we

were talking in person it might come across a lot differently than

if we write it. Just something to remember if we read something

that might not sound right or what we wanted to hear. I've felt at

time's I was also being attacked (different group) but actually they

just wrote it without letting the mouth catch up...or vice versus.

Hope everyone has a great week and if memory serves me correct we

have a few having surgery today or this week.

Hugs, in AL.

July 19, 2004

You are upset about Ray being rude or hurtful? Did you read what your wrote?

Do you think that you are being fair? I think that people need to stop being so

sensitive!!!! We all have the right to write what we feel. Do you think you

can write this and be hurtful to someone else but they can't say what they feel?

I am sorry but I just don't understand. Everyone gets their feelings hurt at

times, but the difference is that most of the time we get our feelings hurt by

how we take what others say. Your email is just outright hurtful and is meant

to be that way. That is just mean!!!

I am not taking sides at all, but this bickering needs to stop. But that is how

I feel, but I am not sure I am allowed to have my own feelings on this website

anymore.

Dora