Mistreatment on the forum....

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

Hope you are all doing great on the diet..

Following on from my recent message about the Medicinal Use of the THC content

of Cannabis, I received many emails in support of having brought this subject to

their attention.

Unfortunately something else always came to my attention with regard to this

forum and how it is run.

Some people, who for obvious reasons shall remain anonymous, wrote to me about

their reluctance to post on the forum due to the way they have been treated by

Marilyn in the past. I was both shocked and disgusted by this, though having now

had some little dealings with Marilyn I am not now surprised.

Here is a selection of quotes from emails I received….. " down right rude " , " her

disrespectful manner of communication " , " inexplicable competitiveness and

dominance " , " a bit pushy on the board " , " I got tired of fighting "

How anyone who is claiming to help people can treat fellow Crohn's/Colitis

sufferers like this is beyond my comprehension, especially when these same ill

people have more than likely been bullied and treated badly by the medical

profession before coming to these type of forums for help and compassion.

After having posted my previous message on this forum and SCD UK… Marilyn

accused me of being a spammer…. I asked for her to withdraw this accusation,it

being factually untrue, two messages does not constitute spam, particularly when

people are interested in the subject. It would seem she posted this just to have

a go at me as I can see no other reason. To date Marilyn has not replied to my

request.

As I have stated before, I respect that Marilyn helps people here, as I have

helped others as I am sure you all have when you can. But this disrespect for

people needs to stop. I can understand peoples reluctance not to confront

Marilyn about this as they do not wish to be treated harshly again nor kicked

out of the forum as we all need this from time to time to help us in our

recovery. I am not afraid to speak out, not because I do not need these forums,

but because if no one speaks out, nothing ever changes.

If Elaine Gottschall was still around today, I do not think she would be very

pleased with this kind of behaviour and I also believe if Crohn's and many other

diseases could be cured without using the SCD, Elaine would be more than happy

to never sell another book and be happy we could all eat what we wish.

Some " off topic " subjects seem to be openly discussed every other day on the

forum and while I somewhat agree that it can be confusing for some beginners,

some OT subjects may help people to recover quicker and it is really up to them

what they choose to do with advice from more experienced people. Yes there could

and probably is another OT forum, I think I heard some guy was setting one up…

but trying to keep up with all these emails can be quite a task. Indeed I think

most people who are doing very well on the diet are using off topic alternatives

etc…

I did think about contacting Marilyn privately about this matter, but seeing how

she chooses to conduct herself publicly I thought it only fair to those she has

insulted, including myself, to have this made public.

My own opinion is that these diseases though affected by diet are also brought

on by our attitudes and behaviour. I have had to change many things apart from

diet in my life to recover and it is forever a learning process.

Now Marilyn, you can choose to do one of two things. You can take a look at how

you have been replying to people and maybe change your ways a little in order

that we can all make the most of the help afforded by this forum, or you can

kick me out of the forum and show everyone that you will continue on just the

same, thus proving what others and myself have experienced.

I do not need a lot of people replying to defend Marilyn, I am speaking for

those who were mistreated by her, including myself…the rest is your own

business.

Good health and good day to you all…

Peace

(from Ireland now living in Italy)

Crohn's 3 years(diagnosed)

SCD 2 yrs 9 months

No meds(legal or illegal)

[Guest guest]

> Uh...I suspect that he didn't say who wrote him because they wrote him > privately (the ones he mentioned said they were "too intimidated" or > "too tired of arguing" to speak up). And I suspect he said that he > didn't want to "see a lot of people defending Marilyn" because everyone > knows she has support here (some more vehemently outspoken than others) > but those people who are too intimidated aren't more likely to speak up > because they'll just be bashed the way he's being bashed now. Just a > thought.He's being bashed? Gimme a break. He's NOT being bashed. How about a little backbone, folks. There's a real world out there that requires more than a little of it, whether we're ill or not. If he writes a post like that and can't accept some criticism -- very legitimate criticism -- because he can't or won't back up what he said -- then he shouldn't have written it. When you write something like that (or any post, for that matter, and I include this one), you have to consider what the consequences might be and be willing to take them.I wasn't suggesting he reveal the names of authors of personal emails he received; but he could easily have given proof for his accusations by quoting content from such emails without naming the posters, and with their permission -- or by using himself as the primary example and quoting what he himself took issue with re: being called a spammer. That sounded to me (by the way he described it) like a simple misunderstanding that he chose to take very personally. I guess I'm also totally missing the "too tired to argue" bit. I've seen no arguing on the list; nothing I would call arguing. I've seen fairly pointed questions about what's legal or illegal, and why or why not, and I've asked them myself -- and a few of the answers I personally disagree with. I don't make that public, however, or insist the diet should be updated because I think that would be a form of sabotage; and besides, everyone responds slightly differently to different foods, and we all know that some things aren't an issue for some people and the same things ARE a huge issues for others. So on this forum sticking strictly with Gottschall's diet as she conceived it is simply a smart thing to do, and the most helpful for beginners -- which we all were/are once.In my previous response I wasn't assuming Marilyn has no faults (nor that I don't). We all obviously do, every single one of us. But I AM concerned with fair representation of Marilyn, and everyone here, including (and Steve). I won't and can't attribute motives to either of them; I don't know either of them. I can only base my own response on what they wrote (trying to take into consideration that email is not the most precise form of communication, that there's no body-language to "read," and that it doesn't allow readers to pick up intended nuances -- which is why emoticons developed).That said, I'm still having difficulty understanding the point of 's post. The polite and gentlemanly thing to do would have been to take up this personal issue -- it WAS a PERSONAL issue, as far as I can see -- privately with Marilyn, and if she didn't respond, to try again. said she didn't respond to him, and he attributed to that a negative motive. I don't know why she didn't respond, but why assume a negative reason? Surely we all know from our own experiences with communicating by email that there any number of possible reasons for not responding to someone (or not responding in a timely manner), not the least of which is email falling through the cracks, not having time to write a considered reply, etc., -- none of which justifies going public with a personal beef. If there are so many people here who are "intimidated" by Marilyn (or any of the rest of us who post relatively frequently) there comes a point when you simply have to overcome that and deal with it, as many of the rest of us have had to do in our lives. (It's quite possible, believe me; I spent the first 25 years of my life being painfully shy and easily intimidated, and there are countless people like me.) Does writing Marilyn privately take so much courage? That would have been the proper thing to do rather than "talking" behind her back (or anyone else's) and then airing a private issue publicly.This list has been very helpful, I dare say, for the vast majority of people who have discovered it. It's also the type of thing you graduate from, so to speak, once you start healing. But if it's not helping you (collective you; I don't mean Stacie specifically), or you don't like it for various reasons, it's not hard to sign off and go somewhere else that you think will be better. And good luck to you.n> >>> I find it interesting that wrote that he doesn't want to see "a >> lot>> of people replying to defend Marilyn." That's rich! He's essentially>> bashing a person -- without proving what he says -- and he thinks the >> rest>> of us should just shut up in response because he, after all, is>> representing the poor put-upon people who Marilyn has "abused"?! I have>> one thing to say to that, to both of you: Grow up!>>>> n ______________________________A funny, touching gift book for cat lovers. Signed copies, free shipping (U.S., reduced elsewhere): Confessions of  a Cataholic: My Life With the 10 Cats Who Caused My Addiction by n Van Til www.wordpowerpublishing.com  

[Guest guest]

In my previous response I wasn't assuming Marilyn has no faults (nor that I don't). We all obviously do, every single one of us. THERE we go. I just want to say that we are all human, and humans get on other human's nerves sometimes. That's just what we do. Marilyn being the main (only?) moderator on this list, she had direct conversations with more people on here than anyone else, automatically giving her more chances for conflict than anyone else. Also, sometimes I'm sure the conflict is really the other person's fault, and sometimes, as we all know, two people just don't get along at all from the start. So, I don't think it's really fair to single out Marilyn in front of the whole group. Everybody has bad days, gets stressed, and snaps at people. I can understand why the people who wrote to wouldn't want to speak up, because with so many people in this group, it can be intimidating. I also think that those people, rather than staying so offended, should just email Marilyn privately and just tell her that they're offended. I know if I ever came across as offensive by accident, I would be more than happy to apologize if the person brought it up. I also think that, if for some reason, the issue isn't resolved, any offended people should just forgive, forget, leave the list, whatever they have to do, because although these things happen and people get mad at each other, I'm pretty sure that's the exception rather than the rule. It's not fair to condemn Marilyn's treatment of people on here in general when MOST of the time she's helpful and encouraging. Cheers!Alyssa 16 yo UC April 2008, dx Sept 2008SCD June 2009 (restarted)Azathioprine 75 mg 1x per dayPrednisone 12.5 mg 1x per day (trying to wean!!!!)

[Guest guest]

In my previous response I wasn't assuming Marilyn has no faults (nor that I don't). We all obviously do, every single one of us. THERE we go. I just want to say that we are all human, and humans get on other human's nerves sometimes. That! 's just what we do. Marilyn being the main (only?) moderator on this list, she had direct conversations with more people on here than anyone else, automatically giving her more chances for conflict than anyone else. Also, sometimes I'm sure the conflict is really the other person's fault, and sometimes, as we all know, two people just don't get along at all from the start. So, I don't think it's really fair to single out Marilyn in front of the whole group. Everybody has bad days, gets stressed, and snaps at people. I can understand why the people who wrote to wouldn't want to speak up, because with so many people in this group, it can be intimidating. I also think that those people, rather than staying so offended, should just email Marilyn privately and just tell her that they're offended. I know if I ever came across as offensive by accident, I would be more than happy to apologize if the person brought it up. I! also think that, if for some reason, the issue isn't resolved, any offended people should just forgive, forget, leave the list, whatever they have to do, because although these things happen and people get mad at each other, I'm pretty sure that's the exception rather than the rule. It's not fair to condemn Marilyn's treatment of people on here in general when MOST of the time she's helpful and encouraging.LOL, Alyssa. That was the most mature and level headed response yet.Mara

[Guest guest]

Ditto Jodi and the rest.  Go into the real world and try to get 'normal' people to listen to your little problems and get hostile when they tell you it was your job to take care of it.  Never mind, se puts up with a lot imho.  Marilyn is like a saint for even loggin in here everyday.

 

Debbie 41 cd or not

 

In my previous response I wasn't assuming Marilyn has no faults (nor that I don't). We all obviously do, every single one of us. 

THERE we go. I just want to say that we are all human, and humans get on other human's nerves sometimes. That! 's just what we do. Marilyn being the main (only?) moderator on this list, she had direct conversations with more people on here than anyone else, automatically giving her more chances for conflict than anyone else. Also, sometimes I'm sure the conflict is really the other person's fault, and sometimes, as we all know, two people just don't get along at all from the start. So, I don't think it's really fair to single out Marilyn in front of the whole group. Everybody has bad days, gets stressed, and snaps at people. 

I can understand why the people who wrote to wouldn't want to speak up, because with so many people in this group, it can be intimidating. I also think that those people, rather than staying so offended, should just email Marilyn privately and just tell her that they're offended. I know if I ever came across as offensive by accident, I would be more than happy to apologize if the person brought it up. 

I! also think that, if for some reason, the issue isn't resolved, any offended people should just forgive, forget, leave the list, whatever they have to do, because although these things happen and people get mad at each other, I'm pretty sure that's the exception rather than the rule. It's not fair to condemn Marilyn's treatment of people on here in general when MOST of the time she's helpful and encouraging.

LOL, Alyssa.  That was the most mature and level headed response yet.

Mara

[Guest guest]

For some of my posts Marilyn was rather abrupt with me.Everyone:Did anyone stop to think that Marilyn is the only moderator of this list (as far as I know)? She needs to read all of these posts and responds to many. I 'm sure she's tired and because of her many health problems does not always feel well.Anyone who remembers the SCD list when Elaine Gottschall was a member knows that even among close friends on the list problems do arise. We really should remember that everyone means well and give each other a little leeway without taking offense.Take care,Pat