Slightly OT: Plastic surgery, anyone? ;-)

[Guest guest]

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband

that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not

so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

" If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper

and rub it between them for a few seconds. "

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of

the mirror, rubbing it between my

breasts.

" How long will this take? " I asked.

" They will grow larger over a period of years, " my husband replies.

I stopped. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my

breasts every day will make my

breasts larger over the years? "

Without missing a beat, he says, " Worked for your butt, didn't it? "

He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.

Stupid, stupid man.

Not everything that counts can be counted and not everything that can be counted

counts.

- Albert Einstein

It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

- Cheryl Crow

[Guest guest]

, I spit out my coffee and darned near fell out of my chair on this

one! Thanks. I needed that this morning. I'm going to share it with my

hubby, as soon as he has access to email. The Army is so " DUH " right now. He

was activated to do payroll, and he can't do payroll without access to a

computer, so yesterday he spent all day learning to identify landmines.

LANDMINES??? IN A PAYROLL OFFICE? Does anyone besides me think this is

stupid? Of course, I'd certainly want him to recognize a landmine if he saw

one....

Jac

http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

http://members.cox.net/XXXFARMPAINTS

mail to: jholdaway@...

Order a BRAT 2004 calendar today at:

http://www.basenjirescue.org/calendarcontest/

Slightly OT: Plastic surgery, anyone? ;-)

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my

husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling

me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

" If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet

paper and rub it between them for a few seconds. "

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front

of the mirror, rubbing it between my

breasts.

" How long will this take? " I asked.

" They will grow larger over a period of years, " my husband replies.

I stopped. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my

breasts every day will make my

breasts larger over the years? "

Without missing a beat, he says, " Worked for your butt, didn't it? "

He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.

Stupid, stupid man.

Not everything that counts can be counted and not everything that can be

counted counts.

- Albert Einstein

It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

- Cheryl Crow

[Guest guest]

I have to either recognize the humor of the situation, or sit here and cry.

Crying doesn't do anything but give me bloodshot eyes. Oops, already there,

from lack of sleep. LOL. I haven't slept in our bed since he left. I

stripped the sheets off at 4 am and put them in the washer...Tonight, I am

NOT going to sleep in the recliner, with the TV on full blast. He wouldn't

appreciate that sort of behavior, so I have decided to get a grip, grow up,

and be productive while he's gone. I have 1000 sq feet of floor to sand,

and refinish, and 3 rooms to strip and repaper or paint.

Jac

http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

http://members.cox.net/XXXFARMPAINTS

mail to: jholdaway@...

Order a BRAT 2004 calendar today at:

http://www.basenjirescue.org/calendarcontest/

Re: Slightly OT: Plastic surgery, anyone? ;-)

What you'd really rather is that he be in a nice AC office doing payroll

rather than anywhere NEAR where he'd have to identify a land mine <G>.

But yes, definitely want him to recognize a land mine if he saw one. <G>

Pam

Slightly OT: Plastic surgery, anyone? ;-)

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my

husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling

me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

" If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet

paper and rub it between them for a few seconds. "

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front

of the mirror, rubbing it between my

breasts.

" How long will this take? " I asked.

" They will grow larger over a period of years, " my husband replies.

I stopped. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my

breasts every day will make my

breasts larger over the years? "

Without missing a beat, he says, " Worked for your butt, didn't it? "

He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.

Stupid, stupid man.

Not everything that counts can be counted and not everything that can be

counted counts.

- Albert Einstein

It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

- Cheryl Crow

[Guest guest]

OK, I forgot that I should have said... I did not originally write the

toilet paper story, I forwarded it from someone else -- guess my post

trimming was a little TOO efficient! My husband is my EX-husband,

actually, because he made some remarks similar to the ones in the tp

story. Oh well!

Z

Open RNY 09/17/01

http://www.ziobro.us

Slightly OT: Plastic surgery, anyone? ;-)

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my

husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically

telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a

suggestion.

" If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet

paper and rub it between them for a few seconds. "

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in

front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

" How long will this take? " I asked.

" They will grow larger over a period of years, " my husband replies.

I stopped. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between

my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years? "

Without missing a beat, he says, " Worked for your butt, didn't it? "

He's still alive and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk

again.

Stupid, stupid man.

Not everything that counts can be counted and not everything that can be

counted counts.

- Albert Einstein

It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

- Cheryl Crow