Mean Moms

[Guest guest]

Okay - in the same vein as a recent thread on nasty comments by our " loved

ones " towards us ... or, in general, about mean and nasty people who hurt our

feelings, because they don't understand why we had WLS, etc. ... read on.

Last night I was speaking on the phone with my mother. We have a distant

relationship, more so now because she has never acknowledged my WLS (now 2-1/2

past), nor recent abdominoplasty (Feb. 14, this year). My mother was not

supportive of my decision to have gastric bypass. Actually, my mother has never

been very supportive of my weight loss endeavors.

Okay, you get the picture. I live in Anchorage. She lives in Sacramento.

Moving on. I am just floored by a comment she made last night to me.

Granted, I consider myself extremely thick-skinned, but this hurt so bad,

nonetheless.

I was speaking to her telephonically with regard to the California recall

elections. For some reason, " The View " became a subject. I remembered a recent

thread about Starr , and asked my mom if she had seen her lately, how I'd

heard Starr had possibly had WLS but was attributing her loss to diet and

exercise. I went on to state how I didn't understand out-and-out denials about

WLS, but rather, understood the need for privacy but not lying. Rather, I said

to my mom, if I were a public figure and didn't want to address the subject,

I would have just said I had no comment.

My mom then said to me (and rather firmly I might add) " ... you have to

understand, not everyone can admit that they are WEAK and can't loose weight on

their own. " ( " Weak " I thought to myself? Weak? What an idiot thing to say to

someone. She's educated, why would she say such a thing????)

I WAS SPEECHLESS AND ANGRY AND WANTED TO SCREAM!!! (I am not known for being

" speechless. " )

I held my breath for a moment and, was so hurt and disappointed and angry -

SHE STILL DOESN'T GET IT - that I just said " Mother, I can't talk anymore ...

goodbye " and hung up. All I heard was a " cheery " (like she finally " got me " or

something) tone of her saying, " well, okay then, goodbye. "

I just can't believe it. Well, yes I can. I'm 48 and have known her

nastiness all my life. God knows my loudest prayer is to ask that I be a better

mother to my 10-year-old daughter than what she has been to me.

I don't share very often ... but I had to vent to those that know, feel, and

understand.

Thanks for your patience with my rant! Geeze!

Bobbie

Anchorage, AK

Then: 314

Now: 185

Proximal RNY: 5/11/ 01

Abdominoplasty: 2/14/03

Brachioplasty: 1/20/04