Dora

[Guest guest]

Dora,

I was trying to help another by letting them know how it feels to

be dating after gastric bypass with bm and gas. I was being honest

and spoke from my heart. I was upset because Ray made a joke and I

was offended that he made it at me, not to me (it seemed). I am over

it and he decided to leave for his own reasons. I do not attack

anyone and feel that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I

however think of other's feelings before I type or speak. That is

all that I was saying. Not bickering. I think that Ray learned

things here and he also taught others. I feel that the same goes for

me. I was expressing how I felt and yes, I do think that I was being

fair.

Bethany

> Well, I felt that this group provided support for one another. I

> understand that everyone, including myself, has been missing Ray.

I

> only expressed how my feelings were hurt about one commment. I got

> over it and began to not care anymore. This has been dragged on

long

> enough. I am so disappointed that no one understood how I felt,

not

> stood up for me or even " babied " me, but just expressed sincerity.

> We are all emotional and uneasy after surgery. I felt hurt by

Ray's

> comment about my situation when I was simply spilling my emotions

> and trusting all of you. I have recently decided that I may be

> leaving the group. Since no one has cared up to this point or even

> expressed sympathy, I believe that I will soon be leaving. I have

> learned so much from everyone and enjoyed hearing stories, and yes

> even jokes. I understand that humor helps healing, but sometimes

we

> also need to think about others. I am sure that we have all been

> made fun of at some point or another and it has rolled off our

> shoulders or not. In this instance I felt that I am connected to

all

> of you by a bond that is so strong, I felt comfortable saying

> anything. When my comfort was broken slightly, I felt as if I was

> belittled and ridiculed for honesty. That is how I FELT. Now, I

> think that if Ray came across my path that I would extend my hand

> and have a truths. The only problem with this is that someone e-

> mailed him and asked him to leave. I have never even thought about

> saying this to anyone here, especially since that would break this

> special bond. I know how I would feel if someone came to me and

> asked me to leave this group. In essence, I feel that since no one

> expressed concern or sympathy for the way that I felt, as

expressed

> in previous posts, that no one would care if I decided to leave. I

> have looked for new support groups, other than the one with my

> surgeon, and have found none that compare with the sharing and

> feelings that are here. I will continue to read posts and help

those

> that need it, but I am now apprehensive. I do not feel as though I

> am welcomed here anymore. I am sorry that this happened with Ray

> when he was having a problem with others. Timing is beyond

anyone's

> control. I hope that Ray finds out how I feel now and that he

comes

> back for the sake of the group and for my benefit as well. I can

> only hope that in the next few days that I feel like part of my

> second family.

>

>

>

> Bethany

> 281/261/227/150

>

>

>