one last thing.

[Guest guest]

so i was in the shower and figured out why i haven't been posting.

and it's because i feel guilty. i can't be ultra-supportive right now

because i'm so angry/upset/tired. and there are tons of people on

this board so much worse off than me - and yet i'm the one being the

self-centered crying baby.

i didn't need to be banded. i've been eating soft foods since day 1.

there i said it. i feel guilty about it because i know some of you

can't. and i only had my upper moved - and at that they moved it

straight forward. it went perfectly. no complications. and i feel

guilty about that. and i feel guilty that i had the premier plastic

surgeon in nyc - and that i could pay for him.

actually - i feel most guilty that i can't help luna. hey - i'm a

graduate student with tons of student loans. without joey i'd be

nowhere. i did take out a $2500 loan two years ago for the

pre-surgical ortho - which i paid paid back. but he's paid everything

else. the $2000 down payment to the PS, the $2500 to the ortho. and

the money he paid for the tooth extraction and whatever...now i think

about getting a lip revision and a nose adjustment...what - am i

crazy? how could i possibly feel low when i have the most wonderful,

caring guy who helps pay for my imperfections?

ok - joey came back from the gym and i just cried and he calmed me

down and maybe the world isn't so bleak and maybe i'm just going stir

crazy in my house. i just feel guilty that i feel down when i should

be grateful for all the things i have.

thanks it.

-becky

[Guest guest]

Hi Becky,

First of all, please DON'T feel guilty -- you should read some of MY

posts (a lot of whining) -- anyhow, we've all had our down days

where we don't have the most encouraging posts. As others have said

on here, it's just as important to post when you don't feel good as

when you do. It sounds like you've been through a lot -- you (and

all of us on here) have every right to have down days and feel

overwhelmed by all that this entails. This is true of whatever the

circumstances are surrounding the surgery (whether it's one jaw,

both jaws, wired, non-wired) --- either way, it's still emotionally

and physically tough. I have empathy for you because I know how it

is post-surgery being cooped up and having just too much time

to " think " . I've been looking at my face thinking, " I wish I would

have had the genioplasty. " Now, do I have to worry about getting

that done? I know all the worrying does not help, but it IS

difficult to not obsess about it sometimes, so just know that you're

not alone in that. As far as feeling guilty about being able to pay

for your PS (etc.) -- don't --- just don't. Really. We are all

dealt a different hand in life, and it sounds like you've had to

overcome a lot of obstacles just as we all have (just in different

ways). The good news is, on our worst days, we can at least have

the hope for the day where normalcy comes again, so keep holding to

that --- I know that it will come for all of us (maybe not soon

enough, but it WILL come); I'm certain of it!

Hugs from MN,

> so i was in the shower and figured out why i haven't been posting.

> and it's because i feel guilty. i can't be ultra-supportive right

now

> because i'm so angry/upset/tired. and there are tons of people on

> this board so much worse off than me - and yet i'm the one being

the

> self-centered crying baby.

>

> i didn't need to be banded. i've been eating soft foods since day

1.

> there i said it. i feel guilty about it because i know some of

you

> can't. and i only had my upper moved - and at that they moved it

> straight forward. it went perfectly. no complications. and i

feel

> guilty about that. and i feel guilty that i had the premier

plastic

> surgeon in nyc - and that i could pay for him.

>

> actually - i feel most guilty that i can't help luna. hey - i'm a

> graduate student with tons of student loans. without joey i'd be

> nowhere. i did take out a $2500 loan two years ago for the

> pre-surgical ortho - which i paid paid back. but he's paid

everything

> else. the $2000 down payment to the PS, the $2500 to the ortho.

and

> the money he paid for the tooth extraction and whatever...now i

think

> about getting a lip revision and a nose adjustment...what - am i

> crazy? how could i possibly feel low when i have the most

wonderful,

> caring guy who helps pay for my imperfections?

>

> ok - joey came back from the gym and i just cried and he calmed me

> down and maybe the world isn't so bleak and maybe i'm just going

stir

> crazy in my house. i just feel guilty that i feel down when i

should

> be grateful for all the things i have.

>

> thanks it.

>

> -becky