Hello everyone this is hard for me so I'll post and see if anyone has ideas

[Guest guest]

Okay, Hi everyone I am Bobbi. I had open gastric bypass surgery

December 7, 1998 and I was 460lbs. I was doing wonderful! By

December of 2000 I had lost 200 lbs down to 260. I slowly started

losing less and less but was still losing. My doctor teased me and

was horrible to me telling me I didnt want to try anymore. I was and

am an emotional eater and that hurt so bad I tried to commit

suicide. Two very dear friends happened to drop by that night and

found me and saved my life. Then my long distance boyfriend who knew

me before the surgery and then after decided to move in with me all

the way from louisiana to Idaho. He moved in with me April of 2002.

Since he moved in with me though I have been totally eating all the

wrong things at all the wrong times of day and in April I was 202 lbs

now I am 295lbs again! I have turned to food to solve my problems

again and I am so desperate to get back on track. I need so much

help and cant turn to my doctor anymore. His nurse tries to call me

because she thought he was out of line and she still believes I am a

good person with good intentions and I really am. I dont want to

creep back up to the 460lbs and I was down to a size 14 and now I am

back to a size 20/22. Please someone lead me in the right

direction. When I had the surgery he even sliced me open pretty big

and then when I got out of the hospital he didnt schedule a visit

with me for three months and no nutritionist no help with my meal

plans nothing! I did well my first month lost 50lbs eating tuna and

cottage cheese every meal 5 little meals of a little less than two

ounces. Now I eat WAY bigger portions than I know I should and I am

so desperate. My boyfriend (now fiance) went back home for a month

to work in place of his mom while she has surgery on her wrists so he

is gone right now and I am alone and having those thoughts of ending

it all. He wants to get married in March and a few days ago I

thought it would be fun to try to find a wedding dress I could set a

goal for and the lady in the store came up to me and said " we only

carry sizes up to a 16 " before I had a chance to even look. I was

hoping to find something to set a goal for and a size 16 was a pretty

good goal anyway but I ran out of the store to my car and sobbed.

Can someone please help me get back on track. Even my family and I

arent talking over the last year since I have been gaining weight

they all call me a failure. Thanks for listening.