Re: INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL

[Guest guest]

Ok, me again with another kitty tidbit of info.

When seriously trying to give your kitty a pill, try setting them on your

lap. Tilt their head all the way back as it forces their mouth open. One

open, drop pill to the very back of the throat, then clamp his mouth shut

with your hands and let him bring his head down. His natural instinct will

be to lick his nose, which will automaticly force the pill down his throat,

and he'll never know you did it.

Now from my own experience, this worked well for a few days. After that,

kitty got wise. But it did make it easier than trying to stuff it down

their throat.

HTH.

Amy

cat advice extraordinaire. (when you've got 6 cats, you learn as many

tricks as you can).

" "

To:

graduate-OSSG

cc:

10/15/2003 02:35 PM Subject:

INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING

YOUR CAT A PILL

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INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if

holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side

of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding

pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. allow

cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in

left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear

paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back

of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of

ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.

Call spouse from yard.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front

and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to

hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into

mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.

Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep

shattered Doulton figures from mantel and set to one side for

gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head

just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw,

force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink

glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's

forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in

cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force

mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic

band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges.

Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last

tetanus shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from

bedroom.

12) Call Fire Department to retrieve cat from tree across the road.

Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to

avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie cats front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind

tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from

shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into

mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically

and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly

while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill

remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to

order new table.

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