long rant

[Guest guest]

Sorry I haven't been around, I think I'm in a flare, I took my Mother to the Cardiologist, (by the way if I already told you all this then delete, I can't remember who I told and didn't anymore)  Anyway, I know most of you

here are in the medical field or was, So they did an EKG on my Mom, her BP and Pulse were up, and wouldn't you just know she was in A-Fig, and she didn't feel a thing, the Doctor said she was probably going

in and out of it, so put her on Blood thinner, and a Beta Blocker.  What this means is that part of her heart is not pumping so blood just pools there and increase the chance of a blood clot, and the other part of her heart

is working harder.  She lives with me now, which is so good, when with my sister, she was alone most of the time. This weekend, I just had NO energy, ran out of a med I use to help me sleep, and I  have never done that,

so was up most of Sat. night. We just sat around and watched movies on TV, I feel I need to keep a little closer eye on her, and I think I've found the symptoms to match the A-Fib.  She told the doctor she had nothing, and

I couldn't really think of anything either, but now and then she says her left arm aches, she thought it was arthritis, but at the same time she says she gets a " uncomfortable feeling "   right under her left breast.  She never says pain,

she has a bad hip, and still doesn't say pain, she says aches.  That with My husbands new business, I only go in a couple times a week, and we got a new client with the home health agency I still work for, so having to write up new protocols

as the state decided to change things up a bit, it's good pay, but seems like everything is coming down all at the same time, and then I opened my cell phone bill to an extra $315 dollars ya, my daughter (15) was calling someone she

met on line in Canada, I asked her is Canada in the states, and she was like, well No I don't think so, Ya not. but I also see she was calling everywhere else, just about everywhere from Fl. to Ca. to NY.  So I got the whole

I have NO friends here, I'm an outcast, no one likes me, these are the only people that understand me!(she has been going to school with this kids since the big K), I wish I could of done that, my family moved every 2 years, she doesn't get it, how

lucky she really is.  So I ask her if she wants to change high school, and she says NO.  OK  so back to the bill. Ya cuz they don't know you, or you them. Drama, I took her computer away, and said I would be checking on her

phone and any out of state calls, it's mine.  I couldn't take the phone away, she was so upset, crying, and she is impulsive,Oh I guess that would go with 15, and if she decided to leave God forbid, I could trace her. 

I see now I need to change the subject box to LONG.  I have just been hot then cold, have a sinus infection, no energy, the shakes, I'm starting to get the shakes bad in my left hand. more numbness on the left side, want to cut my left two little fingers off if you know what I mean. I can't even explain

how my head feels but not normal, heavy in some places and light in others, it's just not " normal " .  I think I may call in for a IV steroid burst, I have annoying small lesions popping up all over, my face is a big rash, I have more swollen lymph

nodes then ever before.  I do want to take care of my Mom, I just need to pace myself I know that, I did absolutely nothing this weekend, well I did make dinner, fish for my own heart patient my husband who will be out of town and eating out this week, least I could do.

OK I'm done, I know you are all sick, and I'm praying for you all, for you , I hope the liver holds out for you. Tracie, I know your doing better, but still struggling, Rose who's hanging in there Thank you, and who' not well but pops in. 

And everyone else, Thank You so much.   If your new, welcome and you probably by now think I' crazy, yes this would be true I will try to check in every few days. And help with questions.  Thank  you for allowing me to vent, I feel better:)

love to all,MarlaJust one day at a time, That's all God ask of us. for there never really is a tomorrow, as that too is just today:)