Friends & Relatives

[Guest guest]

Gotta agree with you there . One thing I really wasn't warned about

before surgery was how friendships and relationships would change. Folks often

ask me what was the hardest thing about losing all this weight. And I think for

me, it was the friendships lost. Friends that I thought were lifelong friends.

I mourned for these friends and I suppose in many ways I still do. People who

were so kind, so caring before my surgery, during my surgery and even after

while I was recovering. Then I go and do something stupid like lose 100 plus

pounds, then 200...and BAM! they stop talking to me. They start avoiding me.

Suddenly, we're not speaking....I call, I send cards of sorrow and apology (for

what I don't know, but whatever it is, I'm sorry) Then I realize...it's over.

These people felt needed. And so they were. When I wasn't able to take care of

myself they were there to take care of me. But then I was able to take care of

myself. They felt no longer needed. So they backed off. I kept reaching out,

wanting to do things together, have fun....but to them, fun wasn't what it was

all about. It was about being caregivers, being needed. So be it.

I expected that my role in the family would change. I sensed that when I was no

longer the " bigger " sister that family would then be looking at my sister asking

her, " well when are you going to do something about your weight? " But I never,

ever pushed her. She made up her mind just as I made up my mind. But family

being family, we stuck by each other. There's not many of us left...we are all

we have of the old times, the old memories, the old traditions.

Husbands...mine has been tremendously supportive on this roller coaster ride.

He's been by my side at every surgery and is proud of me. Yes, we've had some

rough spots. I pushed, he's pushed back. He thinks I'm a success, he feels a

failure. He thinks I'm too good for him, that I'll leave....I'll never budge.

This is the man I married, the man I vowed to love forever. He's mine. I would

give my life for him. But I will tell you one thing....I WILL NOT GET FAT AGAIN

FOR HIM OR ANYONE! That's a choice I make every single day.

Sue

Open RNY 10/26/98

From 500 lbs to 155

Dr Barry L Fisher

Pease visit my site:

http://www.lvcm.com/njtomato/

I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet

when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

Re: clothes gifts

How DARE you escape from your spot in life?

I lost life long friends when I got smaller than they did.

My mom started in with too skinny.

losing lots of wt is SOOOOOOOOOO complicated, but I'm not going back

Thanks,

Vitalady, Inc. T

www.vitalady.com