Give me a break!

[Guest guest]

Boy, for the last several days all it seems everyone is talking about

is food, food, food and drink, drink, drink. Is it just me?

Sometimes I do the very same thing, but right now I am going through

an " uncomfortable " time. I can't put my finger on it, it's just

general uneasiness. I suppose I have to learn how to sit with these

feelings without numbing out on food or drink. And I have to realize

that there may be no real cause; I'm just having an iffy day. But

they are new feelings, and I don't like them! Oh well, tomorrow will

be another day.

I never was good at diets. I found they had the opposite effect on

me because they made me focus so much on food; what I was eating,

when, how much, what was permissible, guilt at slips, obsession with

the scale, etc.

I really want to be free from the food obsession and see food as a

means to fueling my body. If I can enjoy it too, that's a plus. But

I can't get into these sugar free syrups, candies, ice cream, f/f

cheeses, snacks, etc.. It makes me absolutely loopy. And that's

just me. Everyone has their own way to work it. For me, avoidance

is much easier to handle than substitution.

I think that's why I did so well on liquid protein back in the 70's.

Too bad the whole thing was bogus and packed a hell of a rebound

punch!

On a different subject, wow! did I get a good laugh this morning at

my support group. It's a mixed group of people from the Santa Cruz

mountains. Lately, I've been getting a lot of a new type of

attention, which, while flattering, is also a little uncomfortable.

I mean, get serious, I'm not a hottie, I'm a 40+ soccer mom! But I

was getting hit on fairly frequently and was starting to ask myself

if I was under-rating myself. Then a guy in the group was sharing at

group level, complaining that he had no girlfriend and said " you

know, I'm not THAT picky. But you know how it is in these

mountains...all I want is a woman with a set of teeth! " ROFL!!! Now

I know my competition! No wonder I'm getting hit on!!!LOL! Took me

down a notch or two before I could even get up a rung!

I get so much support from this board, people at the gym, my local

morning coffee support group and the community in general. But I

would trade that all in for a compliment or even acknowledgement from

my husband. I know he's not demonstrative in the first place, which

I understand is not all that uncommon. I just read an article

talking about how both men and women are so courteous, thoughtful and

giving during courtship, but once married, tend to take the spouse

not only for granted, but as the receptacle for all frustrations and

everything bad that's happened during the day.

And I suspect he's getting scared, though he won't admit it. A couple

of comments have slipped here and there, especially when it comes to

plastics, about how I'll go out looking for someone else. Doesn't

help that we'll be separated for 8 mos. come 12/15!

But that's his problem with insecurity, and I wish he could see that

he could create his own self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead of

starting to criticize and ignore, how much better it would be to

support and recognize!!

Lucky for him I DO go to support groups and can figure out what's

going on. Otherwise I'd be pissed! Oh well, I've gone a great way

in my learning curve and I guess he's about to embark on his own.

Poor sod.

Well, I'm off to a pro soccer game with hubby and son (daughter has

left me to face the lions by scuttling to a sleepover).I know they're

going to talk stats, positions, players the whole

night...snooze...and it's vitally important to my son that I appear

interested. I'll take a deep breath huuuuuuuh.....aaaaaaaah and off

I go. (I really will have a good time...I'm just trawling for

sympathy!)

Later,

Vicki A.