MICHELLE Re: Petty whine, I know, but I'm curious

[Guest guest]

Hey, . This is . I don't believe we've chatted

before, but I had upper jaw impaction and had my lower jaw moved

forward to correct an overbite, gummy smile and sleep apnea in

September 2004. (I can't believe it's been almost a year.) Anyhow,

I've been too lazy to post pictures, but I really need to. I've

been following your posts as well as Sweetpearl's ('s) because

we had similar cases. Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know that

you are not the only one to feel the way you do about your gums post

op. I also had unrealistic expectations about the results, thinking

that not even a millimeter of gum would be showing. But everybody's

smile line is so different and there is only so much gum and bone

that can be removed without interfering with your teeth and their

roots, etc. My surgeon told me beforehand that having just a little

gum showing as well as having 1mm or 2mm of teeth showing when your

mouth is at rest gives a more youthful appearance, so maybe will

look younger longer, which is a good thing ;.) After surgery, I

would sit in front of the mirror and complain to my husband that I

still showed too much gum and wanted to see if I could get a gum

lift. (I also have smaller than average teeth) He just laughed at

me and told me I was being ridiculous and that I have no idea how

much better it is and that nobody else would notice. My gums show

more at the sides than the front now because of my smile line and

although I still wish it were less, I know it's better than before.

I am still trying to stop myself from covering my mouth when I laugh

really hard because if I'm not looking in a mirror, I forget that I

don't show as much gum. I've been self conscious for so long about

it that my mind hasn't caught up to the reflection in the mirror

yet. I have such terrible memories of laughing and having a fun

moment just to have it ruined by someone saying " God, you look like

a friggin' horse with those big gums! " or " Eeew! Why are your gums

so big? " Although you try to put that stuff behind you, it leaves

an emotional scar that's hard to overcome. I literally had " day

nightmares " and thoughts that my gums would grow back post surgery,

but my surgeon said it couldn't happen. I have major insecurity

issues because of my bite as well as other things that happened

while growing up and 28 years of " damage " can't typically be erased

overnight. I know I need to do a lot of work on myself emotionally

to be at peace with myself and accept how I look not only now but

what I looked like beore. I know that I will always have something

on me that I'm not happy with and that I will never be " perfect " . I

will always want to lose 10 more pounds and get rid of the cellulite

dimple on my thigh or have the mole on my neck or the hair on my

legs lasered away. But when it comes down to it, who are we really

doing all of this for? I've convinced myself for so long that I

want to change these things because I don't like them, but when I

think about it, I don't like them because I'm comparing myself to

other people or airbrushed models, and I'll never be either of

those. Comparing yourself to others can be a double-edged sword.

Sometimes you can find helpful information from it, and other times

it makes you feel inferior even though there is no need to feel that

way. Bottom line is, your pictures look great, you look great and

I hope you will feel as great as you deserve sometime soon. The

surgery made a significant difference/improvement and you will be

happier as time goes on. But if you need time to say goodbye to

your old 9mm of gum and say hello to your new 2-3mm of gum, then

take that time. Relax if you want to, obsess if you want to, or cry

and pout and be moody whenever you want to. Then wait a few months,

or until after your braces are off, and look at some old pictures of

you in all of your gummy glory and be grateful that there was even a

surgery that exists that allowed you to correct something that you

weren't happy with. Even if it's only 85% of what you hoped, that's

a lot more than the 15% that you may not feel isn't " perfect " . Chat

with me whenever you like. Maybe we can help each other come to

grips with the emotional effects of surgery and all of our petty or

not so petty worries. Good luck with everything.

-

> Hi everyone,

>

> I am becoming self conscious here now that everything is relaxing

a

> bit and I can smile and laugh much more. I want to tell myself

that

> my concerns are not warranted and I'm just being silly, but I'm

not

> so sure. So, here it goes, when I laugh really hard at something,

I

> still show about 2 or 3 mm of gum tissue above my front teeth and

> it's really bothering me now. I mean I went through this whole

> ordeal and I figured I could be able to laugh and not show any gum

> tissue. (Naturally it's much less than the 9mm or so that I

showed

> before, but still it's bothering me.)

>

> It's so petty and I know that there are people out there alot

worse

> off than I am, but right now, I feel like I did this for nothing

with

> all of the post-op nose issues and now this. I guess I got my

hopes

> up for a perfect result, and it's not what I consider perfect, and

> I'm kinda depressed. Right now, I'm feeling less attractive than

I

> did pre-op, which is ridiculous, but it's the way I feel. I don't

> have to be super-model gorgeous (god knows, that's not possible)

but

> I would like to be normal for a change. I do have to get a gum

lift

> after the braces are off for the lateral teeth and bicuspids,

because

> after moving my overjet back with the braces 14mm, I have alot of

> excess gum tissue that makes my teeth look very tiny, so maybe

I'll

> be happier then. I will post a pic of my mouth so maybe you guys

can

> see what I'm talking about. Everyone with a normal top jaw, can

you

> tell me if any gum tissue shows when you laugh? I would love to

> know. I tried asking my hubby, but his doesn't. (and I really

> havent looked at anyone else).

>

> Hope you guys can give me some insight, or at least a bit of

> encouragement:-).

>

>